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I love fun.
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Fax.
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Well, do you want jeans?
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Yeah, it's just always so hard to know if jeans are gonna fit.
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Well, fun fact.
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If you wrap the waistband around your neck, you can kind of tell how it's gonna fit.
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You know what?
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I I left my measuring tape.
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I have no idea if that dress is gonna fit in my new space or not.
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Well, fun fact, Actually, your arm span is about the same size is your height, so we could get a good idea.
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So from a chest to my fingers is about 2.6 weeks.
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I'm 5 ft two.
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So if we measure 2 ft is 24 inches plus seven so it's 31 inches.
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Exactly.
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Cool.
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I just feel so embarrassed that I said that in front of everyone.
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For in fact, we're all gonna die.
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Actually, that does make me feel better, but that But anyway, fun fact.
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I have always thought of myself as someone who deeply desires and seeks out commitment.
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But in my oh so enlightening adventures with the dating coach, don't judge me.
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And a new therapist who specializes in attachment theory, I have found out I am very afraid of commitment.
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And here's some signs that you are too one.
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You have a long, elaborate list for your ideal person.
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Here, you hear?
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The first requirement is you must be exclusively devoted to 1700 sea shanties.
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And when you do have a potential suitor, you strategically nitpick to the point where you talk yourself out of pursuing something serious, often bailing on those that are promising.
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Look, I'm a 17 hundreds sea shanties girl, and you're more like 1600.
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So this isn't gonna work to your very interested until they are, you often find yourself enjoying the pursuit of a relationship more than actually being in one.
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And you're frequently attracted to those who are unavailable or who, you know deep down will eventually abandoned you.
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Get a life, make one with me, coward.
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Three.
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You still feel scarred from a previous relationship, and you carry those beliefs over into the Now you are convinced, most likely, unconsciously, that any future partner will hurt you the way that your past one did.
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And as a result, you keep everyone at an arm's length.
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Fun fact, you're 2.6 ft away from May some smaller, more subtle signs.
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Are you cultivated large network of various friend groups in a busy work life essentially leaving no room for dating you back out of dates last minute frequently and you blow hot and cold in the dating game.
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In general, you stay in relationships that are chaotic, clearly going nowhere, or you go from one short lived relationship to the next.
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You think your married friends settled and that their lives must be boring.
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You cling to this idea that freedom can only exist when you're single and that relationships are a prison.
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Okay, so maybe you feel personally attacked by this video.
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And maybe some of you are realizing that you do have commitment issues.
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What now?
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Well, besides going to a therapist who can help you uncover why you carry these subconscious beliefs that love and relationships are a threat to your security and freedom as a human being and help you unravel these fears to the point that they no longer control your life anymore?
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Um, a book that really helped me was attachment theory.
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I am classified as an anxious attachment with a strong fear of abandonment.
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So I was able to start working on creating secure attachment with myself in order to have stronger bones with others.
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Knowing your attachment style in relationships is incredibly helpful when you have anxiety around commitment, because you can entail your approach to unraveling the narrative that your brain is telling you that love is we'll also focusing on redefining love.
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It takes a lot of conscious effort, lots of trial and error.
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And you know, I haven't quite gotten there yet.
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I don't know if love is really never gonna happen, but eventually I believe commitment will not be something that I fear, but something that I've welcome.
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I felt good.
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I felt good about that performance.
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Let's cut.
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And, of course, thank you inaudible for sponsoring today's episode.
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I know it does for me because I do it whenever I'm in the notorious traffic, working out at the gym, doing chores or just getting ready in the morning.
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Right now, I'm listening to insecure in love, since I'm an anxious attachment with an extra dose of fear of abandonment.
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So in times of conflict, anxious attachment reach out for reciprocity, whereas avoidance tend to withdraw.
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Which leads to this really fun cycle of just constantly chasing love.
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Insecure and love is really insightful about how to break free of this really frustrating pattern and deal with anxiety in your relationships.
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In a more productive way.
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Start listening with 30 day audible trial and choose one audio book and to audible originals.
