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  • there is a difference between complaining to really stress.

  • And you're unconscious ego giving you a false sense of agency to divert you again and again from the rial work you need to do in order to make real change in your life.

  • This video addresses the latter one.

  • Stop complaining about life circumstances you refused to work on in any capacity.

  • Like your job.

  • E Just hate working nights, man.

  • Look, man, I know that work sucks sometimes, but if you hate this job that much, you should become a lawyer.

  • So you could have day hours and still fight crying.

  • Yeah, but that's, like four years of school, dude.

  • Yeah, but do you want, like, a life of misery or for mere years to have the life that you want?

  • Uh oh, fix up.

  • No.

  • Oh, if I survive this e, I'm not gonna really do anything differently, actually.

  • Or your significant other.

  • Yeah, she is just, like, always listening, man.

  • It's so annoying.

  • Well, have you tried talking to her?

  • She's always asking me to upgrade her software.

  • It never ends.

  • There's always a new update or installation.

  • Well, maybe you should tell Alexa her name.

  • I'm happily single great.

  • I'm going to have to sleep on the night stand tonight to stop complaining consistently over time without effort about things that you have control over.

  • I'm just, like, so busy I don't have time to do anything.

  • I mean, I know that I'm in control of my schedule and I could just, like, you know, plan a little bit so it would be so stressed out week to week.

  • But I just can't.

  • You know these souls take up my whole after life shut up or I just can't seem to get into shape.

  • Even though my current decisions made me feel terrible, I know little daily decisions could lead to long term health.

  • Just like can't three stop complaining about injustice or wrongdoing in the world and refusing to be a part of the solution?

  • You know, we all have this habit of using social media as a substitute for activism and took me wrong.

  • I mean, visibility and awareness or valuable in the morality of the Internet is incredibly useful to get, like national or global attention on a very pressing issue.

  • But if you never donate volunteer vote or make meaningful little changes, in your own life to aiding causes that are important to you.

  • Then it's time to step it up because words without action is not activism.

  • Tweets are not votes, and a Facebook post does not substitute for an hour of volunteering.

  • If you're going to complain, you can also contribute something my therapist says, is that chronic complainers who don't do anything to change their life are often people who were subjected to some kind of trauma early on.

  • That is unresolved, and it's inhibiting them in adulthood.

  • And this could be a simple A When they were a kid, they had the reality denied.

  • Are you guys for real telling me you don't see this?

  • No, honey, you're crazy.

  • Or maybe they were shut down when they tried to take action.

  • When I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer.

  • Objection.

  • You're gonna carry on the family business of vigilantism.

  • The most important thing we can do is to make space for people to freely express themselves while also setting our own boundaries.

  • For instance, one of my best friends wanted to break up with her boyfriend for like a solid four months, and I got to the point where I had to tell her lovingly but sternly, Look, you have one more month to complain about this to me.

  • At this point, I feel like it's really unkind to continue having a relationship with this person without having a really conversation with him about how you feel.

  • I love you, but I also need to set this boundary to keep on loving you.

  • And look, I have definitely been a chronic complainer.

  • Who do you think was the inspiration for this video myself?

  • But sooner or later, you have to become conscious of the ways your unresolved traumas are holding you back.

  • Heal them, take control and responsibility for your own life and be OK.

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there is a difference between complaining to really stress.

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