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the other day I was talking to a friend about a new girl she's dating when she said There are just so many red flags.
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Damn.
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Do I love red.
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And it made me realize, You know, we're always looking for these deal breakers and problematic behaviors and other people.
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But when do we ever look at our own red flags?
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And when we consider our side of the street when dating what would be a flag for us?
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Well, red flag number one, what are you actually looking for?
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You'd be surprised how many people I go on dates with who have no idea what they want.
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So are you looking for something serious?
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I don't know.
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Oh, so you're just looking for something casual.
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Oh, okay.
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Well, eventually I want to settle down with someone.
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Is that something that you're hoping?
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Thio?
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I don't know.
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What are you actually hoping to get out of this?
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Uh, whatever we're looking for, it's our job to know and communicate that in front when we're actively dating.
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Honesty and straightforwardness are essential and could help us navigate another persons feelings in a respectful way.
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Even when I've met people whose goals don't line up with mine.
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I appreciated them being up front about it.
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Red flag number two Motivation.
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Do you actually like this person or do you just like the attention?
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Are you only dating because you're terrified of being alone?
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Are you completely over your exes?
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No.
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Really.
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Are you completely over your exes?
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I have been guilty of not having the best motivations when dating sometimes.
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And it has always led to me hurting someone's feelings.
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So a quick check of what your motivations are will help spare others.
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And red flag number three, your ideas of relationships.
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How much does your personality change when you're with someone?
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Look, babe, you gotta stop dressing up like me.
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It's creepy.
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Are you the type to be extremely co dependent?
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Baby, I love you so much.
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It's like like your host and I'm your Paris A.
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Are you looking for someone to complement your life or complete it?
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Once we get married, all of our problems will go away.
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That's how it works.
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What's your freaking movie?
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Often our ideas of relationships will affect how we operate in them, and when you're operating from a place of desperate need or thinking that this one person who is your romantic partner will fulfill your whole life.
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It's probably gonna be a disaster.
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I mean, not always, but usually I'm Anaconda And, of course, thank you to square space for sponsoring today's episode from websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics.
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