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  • the other day I was talking to a friend about a new girl she's dating when she said There are just so many red flags.

  • Damn.

  • Do I love red.

  • And it made me realize, You know, we're always looking for these deal breakers and problematic behaviors and other people.

  • But when do we ever look at our own red flags?

  • And when we consider our side of the street when dating what would be a flag for us?

  • Well, red flag number one, what are you actually looking for?

  • You'd be surprised how many people I go on dates with who have no idea what they want.

  • So are you looking for something serious?

  • I don't know.

  • Oh, so you're just looking for something casual.

  • Oh, okay.

  • Well, eventually I want to settle down with someone.

  • Is that something that you're hoping?

  • Thio?

  • I don't know.

  • What are you actually hoping to get out of this?

  • Uh, whatever we're looking for, it's our job to know and communicate that in front when we're actively dating.

  • Honesty and straightforwardness are essential and could help us navigate another persons feelings in a respectful way.

  • Even when I've met people whose goals don't line up with mine.

  • I appreciated them being up front about it.

  • Red flag number two Motivation.

  • Do you actually like this person or do you just like the attention?

  • Are you only dating because you're terrified of being alone?

  • Are you completely over your exes?

  • No.

  • Really.

  • Are you completely over your exes?

  • I have been guilty of not having the best motivations when dating sometimes.

  • And it has always led to me hurting someone's feelings.

  • So a quick check of what your motivations are will help spare others.

  • And red flag number three, your ideas of relationships.

  • How much does your personality change when you're with someone?

  • Look, babe, you gotta stop dressing up like me.

  • It's creepy.

  • Are you the type to be extremely co dependent?

  • Baby, I love you so much.

  • It's like like your host and I'm your Paris A.

  • Are you looking for someone to complement your life or complete it?

  • Once we get married, all of our problems will go away.

  • That's how it works.

  • What's your freaking movie?

  • Often our ideas of relationships will affect how we operate in them, and when you're operating from a place of desperate need or thinking that this one person who is your romantic partner will fulfill your whole life.

  • It's probably gonna be a disaster.

  • I mean, not always, but usually I'm Anaconda And, of course, thank you to square space for sponsoring today's episode from websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics.

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the other day I was talking to a friend about a new girl she's dating when she said There are just so many red flags.

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