Yeah.

She's like, Tell me the truth, E No.

You and him have something going on.

Hello, world.

My name's Steven Leconte.

You might know me is the guy who gives people advice.

Basically, people DME their problems at Stephen Elsie on Instagram and Twitter, and I try my very, very best to solve them.

Quick disclaimer Before we start.

I'm not a therapist.

Therapists have things like accreditations degrees certificates.

I have a major in theater and a really cute dog.

Cosmo, you wanna treat good boy Cosmos.

Say hi.

Hi.

We're gonna give advice.

Okay, buddy.

Alright.

Go back to bed.

So I just received a d M on Instagram.

That has absolutely rattled me.

Let me read it for you.

Dear Stephen, that's May.

This has been very hard for me to process and deal with.

My friend thinks I'm sleeping with her boyfriend.

I'm not I would never She confronted me about it and I tried my best to be transparent and prove my innocence.

She thinks I'm a liar and a great actress.

She started to tell all of our mutual friends about it and thankfully, they don't believe her, but it hurts.

No, that she would try to tarnish my reputation like that.

Is there a way to prove my innocence?

Wolf.

I have, like, a million follow up questions after reading this GM.

Luckily, the person who sent it has agreed to get on the phone with me, which is very exciting.

This has never happened before.

We're not going to tell you her name.

We're not going to show her face just to preserve anonymity here.

But let's get her on the line.

Okay?

Can you hear me?

Are you there?

Yes.

Thank you so much for this.

Oh, my God.

Thank you so much for agreeing to get on the phone with me.

I just read your d m.

Can you just walk me through what happened here?

It was during the whole pandemic and the lockdowns.

And it was right after restrictions started.

Get lifted.

She said that she needed to event.

So I'm like, OK, let's just meet up somewhere.

That's safe.

We were just kind of gossiping and talking.

And then all of a sudden, she's like, Can you go on your phone?

I was like, Okay, he's like go on your Facebook.

I'm like Okay.

Yeah.

What's the gossip?

What's the teeth?

Wasn't suspecting anything.

She's like, OK, go on his Facebook account.

I'm like, Okay, it's about him.

What are we looking at?

Did he post something weird?

Like, was he tagged in something she's like, OK, go on your messages.

I was like, Okay, And at this point, I'm just kind of like, What are we actually looking at?

So is she trying to trap you right now?

Yeah.

Then she's like going Instagram.

I'm like, Okay, this is getting weird, but I'm going along.

I have nothing to hide.

So she's like, tell me the truth.

And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

And she's like, I know you and him have something going on.

I'm like, you're looking through my app so clearly I have nothing to hide and like and I would never do that.

So does she have any evidence that she would point to to say, like, this is how I know what's happening?

The way that she rationalized it was that he had made a weird comment once he was like, Yeah, I could listen to her talk about this for hours.

And then there was another incident.

Then day before we had met up, he knew about it.

So then he texted me.

He's like, Hey, I heard that you're coming over.

So I'm making you something to eat.

He sent me a picture of food and I was like, Oh, no, no.

I hope you didn't make that today because we're not meeting up till tomorrow.

Apparently, what happens that my name had popped up on his film?

She's like, Oh, what are you guys talking about?

And he got defensive.

He's like, Why are you looking at my phone?

The texting was innocents, but because he got defensive now, she's panicked and I was trying to make her understand that it's not me.

There's obviously something sketchy.

He's definitely gaslighting her lying and hiding stuff from her.

If you had to take a wild guess, would you guess that maybe this boyfriend is a cheater?

Yes.

I always got this feeling from him that he wasn't always like the most loyal or the s boyfriend, But they were like, super in love.

So I was like, so for I'm like, Hey, if it's working out.

It's working out.

I guess something happened during the whole lock down.

She's been going now to your friends and telling all of your friends that this happened.

Is that right?

Yes.

The way that I found out was that I get a text message and it's a coworker.

He's like, Look, I'm not judging you.

I'm not judging you is absolutely the worst way to start any conversation at this party with a bunch of people that we both know.

She was like, There's something going on between both of them.

It was, like super scary for me to go up to my co workers and our friends and be like, It's not true.

They're like, Hey, we know she's going through something right now and she's lashing out on you.

Since then, she had repeatedly sent me text messages asking me these weird questions, like, Where do you park?

Where do you guys meet up?

She's really like taking this and running with it like she's asking for details on the affair.

That isn't happening.

Yes, thank you so much for answering all my questions.

It definitely helps me before I give advice just to get a better sense of like What the heck is going on here?

So I will report back to you when I have some advice.

Sound good?

Thank you so much for helping me.

So the question in your d.

M.

Was Is there a way to prove your innocence?

And my answer is maybe.

But I honestly, at this point, don't think you should bother.

She shouldn't have to, like, take a black light into your bedroom and, like dust your headboard for her boyfriend's fingerprints To believe.

You know, if you have a riel friendship with this person, then saying it's not true should be enough.

It's pretty clear that your friend is operating from a place of paranoia and distrust, which probably means that her relationship has a good amount of paranoia and distrust.

It tends to be that there's like no smoke without fire.

So if she's sensing that there's something going on, there probably is something going on, just not with you.

I hope she gets out of what appears to be a really toxic situation, but none of that can excuse the horrible, unacceptable way that she's treating you right now.

It's very likely that she is in a situation where she's the victim, but now she's creating a new situation where you're the victim.

I once heard this quote on Oprah that has always stuck with me.

Hurt people, hurt people.

Think about it.

Let's talk about where you go from here.

Realistically, the only thing you can do at this point is just disengage from the situation and walk the hell away.

The Onley way that the two of you can realistically move forward is with trust.

And honestly, I don't think she's gonna be able to trust anyone in her life until she dumps the man who really seems to be wreaking havoc upon it.

I hope your friend has people in her life who can leader to this realization.

You are not the person for that job.

I am officially done giving advice for the day, but now it's your turn.

Sound off in the comments with your advice for her.

If you happen to have a problem of your own, please DME.

I can't guarantee that I'll fix your whole damn life, but I'll try my very, very best high five.