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  • So is she trying to trap you right now?

  • Yeah.

  • She's like, Tell me the truth, E No.

  • You and him have something going on.

  • Hello, world.

  • My name's Steven Leconte.

  • You might know me is the guy who gives people advice.

  • Basically, people DME their problems at Stephen Elsie on Instagram and Twitter, and I try my very, very best to solve them.

  • Quick disclaimer Before we start.

  • I'm not a therapist.

  • Therapists have things like accreditations degrees certificates.

  • I have a major in theater and a really cute dog.

  • Cosmo, you wanna treat good boy Cosmos.

  • Say hi.

  • Hi.

  • We're gonna give advice.

  • Okay, buddy.

  • Alright.

  • Go back to bed.

  • So I just received a d M on Instagram.

  • That has absolutely rattled me.

  • Let me read it for you.

  • Dear Stephen, that's May.

  • This has been very hard for me to process and deal with.

  • My friend thinks I'm sleeping with her boyfriend.

  • I'm not I would never She confronted me about it and I tried my best to be transparent and prove my innocence.

  • She thinks I'm a liar and a great actress.

  • She started to tell all of our mutual friends about it and thankfully, they don't believe her, but it hurts.

  • No, that she would try to tarnish my reputation like that.

  • Is there a way to prove my innocence?

  • Wolf.

  • I have, like, a million follow up questions after reading this GM.

  • Luckily, the person who sent it has agreed to get on the phone with me, which is very exciting.

  • This has never happened before.

  • We're not going to tell you her name.

  • We're not going to show her face just to preserve anonymity here.

  • But let's get her on the line.

  • Okay?

  • Can you hear me?

  • Are you there?

  • Yes.

  • Thank you so much for this.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Thank you so much for agreeing to get on the phone with me.

  • I just read your d m.

  • Can you just walk me through what happened here?

  • It was during the whole pandemic and the lockdowns.

  • And it was right after restrictions started.

  • Get lifted.

  • She said that she needed to event.

  • So I'm like, OK, let's just meet up somewhere.

  • That's safe.

  • We were just kind of gossiping and talking.

  • And then all of a sudden, she's like, Can you go on your phone?

  • I was like, Okay, he's like go on your Facebook.

  • I'm like Okay.

  • Yeah.

  • What's the gossip?

  • What's the teeth?

  • Wasn't suspecting anything.

  • She's like, OK, go on his Facebook account.

  • I'm like, Okay, it's about him.

  • What are we looking at?

  • Did he post something weird?

  • Like, was he tagged in something she's like, OK, go on your messages.

  • I was like, Okay, And at this point, I'm just kind of like, What are we actually looking at?

  • So is she trying to trap you right now?

  • Yeah.

  • Then she's like going Instagram.

  • I'm like, Okay, this is getting weird, but I'm going along.

  • I have nothing to hide.

  • So she's like, tell me the truth.

  • And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

  • And she's like, I know you and him have something going on.

  • I'm like, you're looking through my app so clearly I have nothing to hide and like and I would never do that.

  • So does she have any evidence that she would point to to say, like, this is how I know what's happening?

  • The way that she rationalized it was that he had made a weird comment once he was like, Yeah, I could listen to her talk about this for hours.

  • And then there was another incident.

  • Then day before we had met up, he knew about it.

  • So then he texted me.

  • He's like, Hey, I heard that you're coming over.

  • So I'm making you something to eat.

  • He sent me a picture of food and I was like, Oh, no, no.

  • I hope you didn't make that today because we're not meeting up till tomorrow.

  • Apparently, what happens that my name had popped up on his film?

  • She's like, Oh, what are you guys talking about?

  • And he got defensive.

  • He's like, Why are you looking at my phone?

  • The texting was innocents, but because he got defensive now, she's panicked and I was trying to make her understand that it's not me.

  • There's obviously something sketchy.

  • He's definitely gaslighting her lying and hiding stuff from her.

  • If you had to take a wild guess, would you guess that maybe this boyfriend is a cheater?

  • Yes.

  • I always got this feeling from him that he wasn't always like the most loyal or the s boyfriend, But they were like, super in love.

  • So I was like, so for I'm like, Hey, if it's working out.

  • It's working out.

  • I guess something happened during the whole lock down.

  • She's been going now to your friends and telling all of your friends that this happened.

  • Is that right?

  • Yes.

  • The way that I found out was that I get a text message and it's a coworker.

  • He's like, Look, I'm not judging you.

  • I'm not judging you is absolutely the worst way to start any conversation at this party with a bunch of people that we both know.

  • She was like, There's something going on between both of them.

  • It was, like super scary for me to go up to my co workers and our friends and be like, It's not true.

  • They're like, Hey, we know she's going through something right now and she's lashing out on you.

  • Since then, she had repeatedly sent me text messages asking me these weird questions, like, Where do you park?

  • Where do you guys meet up?

  • She's really like taking this and running with it like she's asking for details on the affair.

  • That isn't happening.

  • Yes, thank you so much for answering all my questions.

  • It definitely helps me before I give advice just to get a better sense of like What the heck is going on here?

  • So I will report back to you when I have some advice.

  • Sound good?

  • Thank you so much for helping me.

  • So the question in your d.

  • M.

  • Was Is there a way to prove your innocence?

  • And my answer is maybe.

  • But I honestly, at this point, don't think you should bother.

  • She shouldn't have to, like, take a black light into your bedroom and, like dust your headboard for her boyfriend's fingerprints To believe.

  • You know, if you have a riel friendship with this person, then saying it's not true should be enough.

  • It's pretty clear that your friend is operating from a place of paranoia and distrust, which probably means that her relationship has a good amount of paranoia and distrust.

  • It tends to be that there's like no smoke without fire.

  • So if she's sensing that there's something going on, there probably is something going on, just not with you.

  • I hope she gets out of what appears to be a really toxic situation, but none of that can excuse the horrible, unacceptable way that she's treating you right now.

  • It's very likely that she is in a situation where she's the victim, but now she's creating a new situation where you're the victim.

  • I once heard this quote on Oprah that has always stuck with me.

  • Hurt people, hurt people.

  • Think about it.

  • Let's talk about where you go from here.

  • Realistically, the only thing you can do at this point is just disengage from the situation and walk the hell away.

  • The Onley way that the two of you can realistically move forward is with trust.

  • And honestly, I don't think she's gonna be able to trust anyone in her life until she dumps the man who really seems to be wreaking havoc upon it.

  • I hope your friend has people in her life who can leader to this realization.

  • You are not the person for that job.

  • I am officially done giving advice for the day, but now it's your turn.

  • Sound off in the comments with your advice for her.

  • If you happen to have a problem of your own, please DME.

  • I can't guarantee that I'll fix your whole damn life, but I'll try my very, very best high five.

So is she trying to trap you right now?

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A2 advice boyfriend innocence paranoia stephen prove

My Friend Thinks I'm Sleeping With Her Boyfriend • Ask Stephen

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/23
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