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  • Excuse me, I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.

  • Everyone, pay attention.

  • Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler.

  • Yes, she is female.

  • Yes, we communicate on a daily basis, but no, she is not my girlfriend.

  • Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.

  • Yeah, so?

  • What does that mean?

  • Well, you know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl who is your friend and not your girlfriend?

  • Can't say that anymore.

  • Amy...

  • Will you be my girlfriend?

  • Yes.

  • Well, that's enough of that.

  • Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?

  • Other than my mother, my sister and my meemaw, no.

  • But you're a scientist, where is the curiosity?

  • I'm available for experimentation.

  • Fascinating.

  • Amy, really, she's not gonna come on to Sheldon.

  • Oh, really?

  • Look at this face.

  • How can any woman spend eight hours a day alone with this face and not fall in love with it?

  • No, there are certain things that say to the world: "I have a boyfriend and he's not made up."

  • Matching costumes, hickeys and sex tapes.

  • Pick one.

  • What's a hickey?

  • Hear this, Leonard has some ridiculous notion that you're mad at me.

  • Yeah but tell him you're not mad at me, go ahead, set him straight.

  • I'm mad at you, Sheldon.

  • Your mother thinks you might be losing your mind over me.

  • As a neurobiologist, I was curious.

  • You insulted my woman—I'm here to defend her honor.

  • Now prepare yourself for what may come.

  • I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this.

  • Additionally, you're my girlfriend and I care about your well-being.

  • Thank you, Sheldon.

  • You're welcome.

  • Now, let's get this over with.

  • It hurts that you would lie to me, Amy.

  • I thought our relationship was based on trust.

  • And a mutual admiration that skews in my favor.

  • First of all, I'm quite fond of Amy.

  • Then what's the problem?

  • Penny, all my life, I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others.

  • Hand shaking, hugging, prostate exams.

  • But I'm working on it, you know.

  • Just recently, I had to put Vaporub on Amy's chest.

  • A year ago, that would have been unthinkable.

  • Hang on, are you saying that someday you and Amy might actually get physical?

  • It's a possibility.

  • Oh my God!

  • Sheldon, I know this wasn't easy for you and I'm really glad we could have this conversation.

  • How's that?

  • I feel like I'm being strangled by a boa constrictor.

  • Why did you stop?

Excuse me, I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.

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