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  • e think on our first date we talked about Do you want kids?

  • A lot of people.

  • Their initial reaction is Oh, this is so different.

  • It must be wrong.

  • What if I'm not being the right dad or not being the right mom?

  • Or what if what I'm doing is really damaging them And some people can get really, like, personally offended?

  • Like how dare you Dio?

  • Yeah, e was very excited looking around our tiny apartment.

  • Like where we're gonna put a baby.

  • Tried Bennett Grip e was so excited to parent, I've wanted to be a parent since I was 16 years old.

  • It's one of the most challenging and also one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life.

  • Anything, kiddo?

  • Yeah.

  • Okay.

  • Got to get the money in.

  • Three question of Is this a boy?

  • Is this her girl a song?

  • Is that still a unknown?

  • People act much more neutrally.

  • So we're raising gray in a gender neutral slash gender creative way.

  • Greg can be who they want to be without the strictures that society puts on so many kids.

  • So early on.

  • See all the birds.

  • Look, there's another one no.

  • From the minute someone finds out a child sex, the tone of your voice, the way that you speak, the way that you handle a child changes in little ways that most people go.

  • Oh, it's not a big deal, but it can be because it builds up thes unconscious biases that we hold around gender.

  • They absolutely frame the past that our Children think that they can go down, the ones that are born with penises get much more rougher handled, and people's voices get lower and all.

  • You're a tough guy, buddy and High Princess.

  • Higher voice is softer tones.

  • We really wanted to minimize that as much as humanly possible, because without those expectations, kids air Frito be whoever they want to be.

  • We really wanted everyone to treat gray the way you would any other child, regardless of gender.

  • I was born and raised in rural Wyoming E.

  • I always knew I was different.

  • I couldn't put my finger on what it waas.

  • I think my mom wanted a very feminine, girly girl daughter.

  • I wore a lot of pink dresses.

  • I knew pretty immediately something about this isn't right, but I just didn't know who was safe.

  • What was safe on the inside?

  • I felt alone and isolated and at times afraid.

  • And when things really became overwhelming and seemingly unapproachable, I would turn to suicidal thoughts.

  • But luckily I had family and friends who were there for me.

  • E remember eating dinner?

  • I remember looking.

  • I'm going.

  • When am I gonna grow my Penis?

  • Both my parents were just kind of frozen, and then they had to be like, Oh, you don't grow one.

  • The amazing Tiffany.

  • How do you know that you're queer like everybody questions and just talk to me.

  • It's so silly, cause if you flip it, you're like, how did you know you were straight?

  • Why would you ever ask that?

  • It's just like the assumption that you're straight.

  • And so I struggled a lot with that.

  • I think about all the people that I know who are transferred on binary, whose experiences growing up were traumatic.

  • And I think knowing that I wanna be a parent who hopefully is creating space for my child to trust me because I'm showing that I trust them.

  • Are you ready?

  • I'm sorry.

  • Excuse us.

  • How old is shit there?

  • 15 months old actually used a them pronounced for a great until they tell us who they are.

  • That's why you were, like, who?

  • What?

  • Oh, wow.

  • So they, uh, enjoy the pipe.

  • Great.

  • Thank you.

  • Thank you.

  • Yeah.

  • Way air pulling apart.

  • This idea of sex which is related to genitals and gender, which is related to how you move in the world.

  • So what you wear, how you share your identity with other people.

  • All of those things are related to gender.

  • Whereas sex is really biology.

  • Genitals, It's about it.

  • I mean, we're lucky we have We're in the best.

  • We're probably one of the best places we could be in being in Brooklyn to find some really good, inclusive schools that are gonna respect what we're doing.

  • Like regardless, people are gonna gender our kids e no.

  • We're gonna have a conversation as they get a little bit older, about like what their genitals are expected to me and at some point, and that will be related to why people will gender you in a certain way because you don't want them to feel all that Sigmund chain that you you're already feeling and filtering for them.

  • But then the hard part is is they're engaging in the world, and this could just be me.

  • But it feels like a lot of people are quick.

  • They're like, Oh, yeah, you're gonna mess up your kids.

  • It's like, Well, e mean, every parent has learned something from the parents before them.

  • I mean, when we were kids, I don't remember wearing a seatbelt like ever Gray is going to grow up and probably experienced some shame and stigma around the way that we raised them.

  • And that's okay.

  • And we're gonna have to have conversations about that and also talk about why we made the decisions we made.

  • Where's the baby?

  • Hello?

  • How was there 2022 with him Way Singular day.

  • Like if we you know, if you don't know someone uses he or she you say, Hey, I don't I don't think you have to prepare them.

  • I think they already are prepared to birth.

  • They This happens naturally because I think you're what you're doing is you're changing the pattern of life where I just allowed the child.

  • I mean, I have so many people, little girls that I thought was so feminine, but they turned out to be very masculine.

  • That's basically what we're doing.

  • And it's just kind of like, Well, you things an option, they'll decide.

  • I didn't do it and let it become Thank you, pretty snoozy kid E way cameras.

  • Hey, gender creative parenting is only this tiny facet of what we're doing.

  • His parents were making hundreds of decisions every single day.

  • What books do you read your child or what toys do you let them play with?

  • Did you do bottles?

  • Did you formulate?

  • Did you breast feed you both?

  • Did you do this?

  • Did you that?

  • For me, the hardest thing is sometimes other parents being really critical.

  • We're not saying everyone has to do this.

  • We're not saying that this is for everyone, but for us, this is one of those things of risk.

  • Mitigation is what we're trying to accomplish.

  • A zloty as they're happy.

  • That's really all that matters to us.

  • Our families were really supportive and they try really hard on.

  • Sometimes they make mistakes at our daycare there trying.

  • It's in our file.

  • We used a then pronouns.

  • Really, The goal here is it's not about me trying to force anything on Gray.

  • It's actually the exact opposite, and we don't know their gender yet.

  • And when they tell us, they'll tell us that it might change over time, and that's okay, too.

  • E.

e think on our first date we talked about Do you want kids?

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A2 gender child gray parent genitals people

LGBTQ夫婦が直面する、ジェンダーニュートラルな子育てへの課題。| VOGUE JAPAN

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/10/08
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