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  • As you may have noticed,

  • profits are way down this month. We need a gimmick to bring in customers.

  • Do you lubbers have any ideas?

  • How about Mouthful of Clams Day?

  • Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams, gets a free drink.

  • Huh? Huh?

  • Well, I was thinking more along the lines of live entertainment.

  • That's it, a floor show!

  • No, wait, a talent show with your host, me.

  • And I can see it now, your daughter Pearl with her name up in lights.

  • Hoppin' clams! A talent show!

  • I'm talented! I'd better call the folks!

  • Squidward, you've got a deal.

  • Make my little girl a star!

  • We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town...

  • Wow! A full house! There's Mom and Dad.

  • They are gonna be so proud.

  • - I better get ready. - Alright, listen up people. Listen up.

  • Gather around everyone, chop, chop.

  • Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time.

  • Well, it's not. It's mine.

  • Hey, Squid! How about this for the show?

  • The Amazing Mister Absorbency!

  • Ta-da!

  • Ta-da!

  • No one is going to watch you engorge yourself

  • Please, Squidward, let me be in the show! I'll do anything!

  • Anything! Anything!

  • - So you really want to be in the show? - Oh, yes!

  • Okay, you get to mop up afterwards. Now will you stop bugging me?

  • So, this is what it feels like... the big time!

  • With this mop, I shape my destiny!

  • [applause]

  • [clearing throat]

  • Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show.

  • Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty,

  • because no one else would give it a home

  • [laughing]

  • Thank you.

  • Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well.

  • [laughing]

  • Nepotis...

  • Put your--

  • [laughing]

  • [laughing]

  • Pearl.

  • Hooray!

  • My little girl is finally a star.

  • Give me a K-R-U!

  • [screaming]

  • Give me a S-T-Y!

  • [screaming]

  • Krusty Krab!

  • [screaming]

  • Krusty Krab!

  • [screaming]

  • Krusty Krab!

  • That's what I call talent!

  • Thank you!

  • My leg!

  • Thank you! Thank you!

  • And now poetry...

  • by Gary.

  • [meowing]

  • Oh, he has such a way with words.

  • And now, ladies and gentlemen,

  • the moment you've all been waiting for.

  • We've saved the best for last.

  • [music playing]

  • [music playing]

  • [booing]

  • Hey, Squidward, can I go on now?

  • Yeah, show's over!

  • [booing]

  • - Hey, yeah... - That's really not too bad.

  • - Yeah, alright! - Oh my gosh!

  • [cheering]

  • [cheering]

  • [cheering]

  • [cheering]

  • [cheering]

  • [cheering]

  • [cheering]

  • You did it, Squidward! What a great show!

  • Oh, my son's a star!

  • Whoever knew he had such talent?

  • [sighing]

  • [cheering]

As you may have noticed,

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