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  • I'm standing in Martha Stewart's impressive

  • Westport, Connecticut complex.

  • This is amazing.

  • This is like something a Bond villain

  • would have inside a volcano.

  • (Martha laughing)

  • Men in jumpsuits, taking over the world.

  • It's really fantastic, though.

  • Would you give us a tour? [Martha] Sure.

  • [Conan] What an amazing kitchen.

  • I've never seen a kitchen where someone,

  • a human being, can actually lie down.

  • I mean, this is-- (audience laughing)

  • I mean, this is amazing.

  • We can do autopsies.

  • (Conan laughing)

  • You do autopsies here, okay.

  • Yeah, we can do cadaver explorations, et cetera.

  • This is all stuff we never see on the show.

  • I've never seen so much counter space.

  • Look every kind of form.

  • That's cookie cutters.

  • Cookie cutters.

  • This makes an Al Roker cookie.

  • (Martha laughing) (audience laughing)

  • You got a Abraham Lincoln snowman.

  • Every kind of form.

  • This is to make-- [Martha] Don't mess it up!

  • Oh, do they have certain order?

  • [Martha] Oh, yeah, you're messin' up!

  • That makes you crazy doesn't it?

  • [Martha] Yep, the whole-- (cookie cutters rattling)

  • (Martha laughing) (audience laughing)

  • (audience applauding)

  • Does this ever happen to you?

  • I'm curious, you turn on the griddle, you forget it's on,

  • someone's talking to you, and you say, "Wait a minute,

  • what I wanted to tell you was aah!"

  • (Conan imitating flames hissing)

  • And then you hafta reach around for a spatula,

  • and then get your hand off and go--

  • (blowing air)

  • [Martha] No. (audience laughing)

  • What's this right here?

  • Well, I like different kinds of salt,

  • so we have about six or seven different varieties of salt.

  • I didn't know there were--

  • I thought salt was just salt. No, taste.

  • Wet your finger.

  • One, one finger. (audience laughing)

  • Just a teeny bit, now.

  • Just dip lightly, lightly, lightly.

  • Okay.

  • This is grey sea salt, French from Brittany.

  • What do you think?

  • Salty.

  • (audience laughing)

  • nd this one.

  • Lick another finger.

  • Tell me if it's saltier.

  • Salty.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I can't tell. (Martha laughing)

  • I don't have a palate.

  • Here try this one.

  • [Conan] I just eat like-- [Martha] This is black salt.

  • I eat chunks of potato, you know, all the time.

  • Wait, that's pepper.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Well, I just wanted to see

  • if you could tell the difference.

  • (audience laughing)

  • You can just run your hands around the pots and go,

  • "So many copper pots!"

  • (audience laughing) So many copper pots!

  • Aargh, I'm a pirate!

  • (audience laughing) Aargh!

  • So we have refrigerators, all kinds of stuff.

  • Everything homemade by the way, look.

  • Look at this: Jams, jellies--

  • Homemade.

  • A human brain!

  • No, no, that's preserved quince.

  • What's quince?

  • Quince is that apple pear that grows in the fall,

  • greenish, very fragrant.

  • (air whooshing) (audience laughing)

  • I'm gonna put that one back.

  • [Martha] This is the prep kitchen where it's everybody:

  • Sarin, Jan--

  • [Conan] Hello, ladies! [Martha] And Lucinda.

  • You can have anything you want.

  • (detective theme music)

  • (audience laughing)

  • (detective theme music)

  • (audience cheering)

  • You're a great cook.

  • This is a great place to work.

  • And explain here.

  • I've been told--

  • There's a rumor that these giant ducts in the ceiling

  • are bringing gravy into the building?

  • [Martha] I have no idea.

  • Okay, so over here is my office.

  • [Conan] Is this antique or did you have this made?

  • Oh no, these are all 50s, 40s, 50s, 60s.

  • What's this?

  • [Martha] Oh, look something from the White House.

  • Oh, the Christmas card from the last year of the Clintons.

  • [Conan] That's very nice.

  • I didn't get one of those.

  • [Martha] You didn't get one?

  • No.

  • [Martha] Papal blessing.

  • Oh, this is a papal blessing for you?

  • Yeah, here's Pope John.

  • He's blessed me.

  • So this means you get right into heaven.

  • You just show that at the gate.

  • "Martha Stewart and family" blessed by Pope John.

  • That's great.

  • Could I just borrow that?

  • No.

  • (Martha Stewart Living theme music)

  • Guess who's coming to dinner?

  • Well, "Late Night" host, Conan O'Brien,

  • stops by to get some easy entertaining tips,

  • including my secret recipe for Baked Alaska.

  • (audience laughing)

  • What do I do?

  • Well, these are something that we learned about.

  • You like that?

  • That's very sensual.

  • Right, these are these fabulous new little molds.

  • This is a flexible silicone material completely--

  • I knew I'd felt this before.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (audience cheering)

  • I like to watch things burn.

  • Oh, okay.

  • I usually set the fire, wait till the trucks come,

  • watch it burn, and then leave quietly.

  • Just joking everybody out there.

  • He is a comedian.

  • You must know that.

  • (audience laughing)

  • We need three more.

  • [Conan] Three more.

  • (Martha tutting) [Conan] Huh, huh?

  • You're doing it just right, do that.

  • No (tutting). [Conan] What?

  • We're not gonna quite get 12 perfects.

  • We're gonna get maybe--

  • No, I guess I let you down.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (audience applauding)

  • (jazzy music)

  • Thank you, Martha.

  • (audience laughing)

  • [Conan] You got any booze here?

  • No, absolutely not.

  • Why?!

  • (detective theme music)

  • Oh wait, this is not a--

  • What is this?

  • That's a pot holder.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Look, mine has little spikes.

  • It looks like an aging Don King.

  • That's right!

  • A torch and a hat.

  • (Conan laughing sinisterly)

  • Die, die!

  • (audience laughing)

  • Dah!

  • Martha!

  • I just want-- (chuckles)

  • Lick your lips.

  • (fast detective theme music)

  • Baked Alaska with Conan.