Knife is my co-host on today's episode of "How 2!"

- [Knife] (laughs) Yes, it's slice

to finally be here, Orange.

I'm extremely excited because today

we're showing the audience "How 2" eat an orange. (cackles)

(record scratches)

Wait, why aren't you scared?

- [Orange] Me?

- [Knife] Yes, you.

Nothing bothers you about today's video?

- [[Orange] Not really.

I mean it is a little off-putting

to see you with a wooden handle, but--

- [Knife] Ignore my handle, I'm trying something new.

- [Orange] Oh no, are you having

a mid-knife crisis? (laughs)

- [Knife] Ugh, Orange, you're not bothered by today's topic?

The topic of "How 2 Eat an Orange"?

- [Orange] Nah, sounds fun.

- [Knife] Well, I must say I agree.

Shall we begin?

- [Orange] Step One, wash the orange

- [Knife] I guess that is a good place to start.

I mean, you should rinse off the fruit

before putting it in your mouth.

- [Orange] Yep, so give it a nice long soak.

(water splashing)

Maybe some bubbles?

Ooh and a bath bomb.

Oh, that's nice.

Candles would be nice too.

- [Knife] Ugh, why do I feel like

you might be enjoying this a bit too much?

- [Orange] What?

I deserve it.

It's my last day alive, remember?

- [Knife] (sighs) That is true.

Still, I'd like to cut straight to Step Two. (cackles)

- [Orange] Step Two, massage the orange for a while.

(record scratches)

- [Knife] Excuse me?

- [Orange] You heard me, gimme a massage.

It loosens up my skin, that way it peels off more easily.

- [Knife] Oh, well that's a good point. (whistles off)

Get over here and give this orange a massage right now.

- [Orange] (giggles) Yeah, and some oil would be nice.

Get way in there.

Oh yeah, that's nice.

- [Knife] All right, I believe it's time for Step Three.

- [Orange] Whatever you say, Knifey.

Step Three, after you're done massaging the orange,

give it a couple compliments.

Maybe a couple bucks, too.

(record scratches)

- [Knife] Okay, now you're just being ridiculous.

- [Orange] Is it ridiculous of me to want to feel good

about myself at the end of my life?

- [Knife] Er, I guess not.

- [Orange] And is it ridiculous of me to want

to have some money to cover burial expenses?

- [Knife] (sighs) No, it's not ridiculous.

Here, here's a couple bucks.

- [Orange] Thank you, now on to Step Four.

Buy dozens of decoy oranges

with the money you just got. (laughs)

- [Knife] Wait, what's happening?

- [Orange] Step Five, now you can cut the orange in half.

- [Knife] Well it's about time!

But which one of you is the real Orange?

- [Orange] I'm over here.

- [Knife] (grunts) What the?

- [Orange] (laughs) No, over here.

- [Knife] (grunts) Grr.

- [Orange] (laughs) Maybe you've noticed

I've filled the decoys with surprises.

- [Knife] I'll give you a surprise!

- [Orange] (laughs) Colder.

Colder!

Warmer.

Hotter.

(laughs) You couldn't be hotter.

You're fire-hot.

You're on fire!

(suspenseful music)

- [Knife] I've waited a long time for this moment, Orange.

Say goodbye!

- [Orange] No, you're on fire!

- [Knife] Huh?

What the?

(Knife screams) (Orange laughs)

(fire crackles)

(silly music)