(laughing) (upbeat music)

Do you date a lot?

You date a lot.

- I like it.

Well, no, I don't like it at all.

But I like the idea of it.

- Tell me about your first date

horror story. - Okay, so,

you've heard of The League, right?

The app?

- Duh, it's only the most bougie dating app.

- No, I mean, they let in anyone.

Let's be real. - No, they don't.

I know people that are still on the waiting list for it.

- Oh, I'm sorry for them.

Yeah, I found this one guy on the app,

and he was cute.

We went to coffee,

and he bought me my drink which was super sweet.

It's like fine.

I don't know if it's instant chemistry,

but-- - It never is.

- It's perfectly pleasant.

He tells me that he went into grad school in Germany.

And I'm like, "Oh that's super cool.

"Do you speak German?"

And he was like, "Oh, yeah, I speak German."

And I'm like, oh, that's pretty attractive.

If you speak a European language,

that's-- - That's (bleeping) hot.

Whatever.

- He looks at me and says-- - As long as he's not a Nazi.

Oh no, is he a Nazi? (record scratching)

- So-- - Did I just kill

the punch line?

(laughing) I'm so sorry.

- It's okay.

He looked at me and he's like, "Are you Jewish?"

(ominous music) - Oh no!

- So at this point I knew that this was gonna go

in not a great direction.

But I was like, "Yes, I am."

To which he replied,

"Are you gonna be one of those guys

"who ask me to role play as a Nazi?"

(ominous music)

And I was a little appalled by that.

(chuckles) It was not at all what I was expecting.

I look at him and I'm just like,

"Excuse me?"

And he's like,

if you need to work out your trauma on me or whatever.

- Holy (bleeping).

- It just went from

zero to 100-- - Like real quick.

- I think I was just like,

"Wow, that's really (bleeping) offensive."

- You said that? - Yeah.

(laughing) - (bleep) yeah!

- I just had so many questions.

Is this something that a lot of guys are interested in?

And if they are, fine.

That's not me, but maybe don't assume that?

- Just because you're Jewish? - Yes!

Like I guess this is a trope that I was unfamiliar with.

- I don't think it is.

I think that was a very specific case.

(laughing)

- It took us to a level that I was not chill with.

- No, #notchill.

- And then we never spoke again.

- Imagine that.

His loss.

Isn't that what you do? (laughing)

- I want to hear about your horror story that--

- Oh God, mine's just a a disaster.

(laughing) It's not

super offensive.

It's just bad.

This was when I was only dating men for a period of time.

Mistake number one.

He picks me up from my apartment

on a motorcycle

(motorcycle rumbles) and doesn't tell me.

And I was wearing a dress.

And I was like, okay maybe he just...

went over his head that he forgot to mention

that he was picking me up on a motorcycle.

But then didn't have a second helmet.

- No, shut it down. - And didn't offer his to me.

And I was like,

looked so awkward, this girl in a dress

with my hair all down,

and on the back of this (bleeping) motorcycle.

So we take a drive down to, do you remember Kabuki?

So we go there.

And he's talking a lot about himself.

I'm just waiting patiently for him to finish,

and he doesn't, he just keeps going and going.

And I actually had to be like,

(toilet flushing) I gotta pee, be right back,

to get him to stop talking for a minute.

- That's a good strategy. - Yeah.

And I go in the bathroom and text my friends.

And I'm like, he's cute and rides a motorcycle, oh my God.

But he won't shut the (bleep) up.

(laughing) So I go back to the seat,

and we're talking, we're talking.

And I'm like, okay.

He's like, do you want dessert?

And I was like, no let's wrap this up

'cause he's clearly not interested in me at all.

And then he asks,

do I want any cocaine.

(record scratches)

- That's so generous of him.

(laughing)

- Just instead of dessert, how 'bout a little blow?

And-- - It's basically like

powdered sugar.

- Yeah, basically, right.

And all the dots started connecting.

I was like, oh that's why I literally haven't spoken once

this entire date.

And so he had it in his wallet,

and I immediately was like, oh, my friend just texted me.

I'm going to go meet them down the street.

And he was like, let me take you.

And I was like, no!

(laughing) Don't follow me.

Don't come near me.

- Please leave forever. - And the worst part about it

is that after all of that, I still paid for my half.

- No!

- 'Cause I was at a point where I was like,

I just want to get away from this man

with mountains of cocaine on him,

and leave the restaurant.

And I'll do anything, pay anything

to like-- - Yes.

- This was a situation where I was like,

hey, this was fun, but I think we're

more good as friends.

Six months later, he gets arrested,

and is in jail still to this day.

- You know what, you dodged a bullet.

- Yes, and who knows what slippery slope

that could of led to if I would have let his good looks

and motorcycle blind my good judgment.

- Yeah.

- But he was (bleeping) hot.

That was one of my first dating experiences in LA.

So I was like, well,

I feel like I got the worst out of the way.

(laughing) - It's almost like

a very LA story, though.

- Yeah, but you know what?

Truth be told, I've never had an experience

as dangerous as that, but they've all been pretty shitty.

- So do you have a first date horror story?

- Please, if you do, leave it in the comments below,

because we don't want to feel so bad

about our lives. - No, please make us

feel better about ourselves.

- And subscribe to this channel,

if you're not subscribed.

- Please, yes.

Do it. - Do people say that?

Have we ever done that in videos?

Subscribe. - Subscribe!

We're YouTubers. - We're YouTubers now.

We're vloggers.

(laughing)

(upbeat music)