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- Give us a clap there boy!
(laughing) (upbeat music)
Do you date a lot?
You date a lot.
- I like it.
Well, no, I don't like it at all.
But I like the idea of it.
- Tell me about your first date
horror story. - Okay, so,
you've heard of The League, right?
The app?
- Duh, it's only the most bougie dating app.
- No, I mean, they let in anyone.
Let's be real. - No, they don't.
I know people that are still on the waiting list for it.
- Oh, I'm sorry for them.
Yeah, I found this one guy on the app,
and he was cute.
We went to coffee,
and he bought me my drink which was super sweet.
It's like fine.
I don't know if it's instant chemistry,
but-- - It never is.
- It's perfectly pleasant.
He tells me that he went into grad school in Germany.
And I'm like, "Oh that's super cool.
"Do you speak German?"
And he was like, "Oh, yeah, I speak German."
And I'm like, oh, that's pretty attractive.
If you speak a European language,
that's-- - That's (bleeping) hot.
Whatever.
- He looks at me and says-- - As long as he's not a Nazi.
Oh no, is he a Nazi? (record scratching)
- So-- - Did I just kill
the punch line?
(laughing) I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
He looked at me and he's like, "Are you Jewish?"
(ominous music) - Oh no!
- So at this point I knew that this was gonna go
in not a great direction.
But I was like, "Yes, I am."
To which he replied,
"Are you gonna be one of those guys
"who ask me to role play as a Nazi?"
(ominous music)
And I was a little appalled by that.
(chuckles) It was not at all what I was expecting.
I look at him and I'm just like,
"Excuse me?"
And he's like,
if you need to work out your trauma on me or whatever.
- Holy (bleeping).
- It just went from
zero to 100-- - Like real quick.
- I think I was just like,
"Wow, that's really (bleeping) offensive."
- You said that? - Yeah.
(laughing) - (bleep) yeah!
- I just had so many questions.
Is this something that a lot of guys are interested in?
And if they are, fine.
That's not me, but maybe don't assume that?
- Just because you're Jewish? - Yes!
Like I guess this is a trope that I was unfamiliar with.
- I don't think it is.
I think that was a very specific case.
(laughing)
- It took us to a level that I was not chill with.
- No, #notchill.
- And then we never spoke again.
- Imagine that.
His loss.
Isn't that what you do? (laughing)
- I want to hear about your horror story that--
- Oh God, mine's just a a disaster.
(laughing) It's not
super offensive.
It's just bad.
This was when I was only dating men for a period of time.
Mistake number one.
He picks me up from my apartment
on a motorcycle
(motorcycle rumbles) and doesn't tell me.
And I was wearing a dress.
And I was like, okay maybe he just...
went over his head that he forgot to mention
that he was picking me up on a motorcycle.
But then didn't have a second helmet.
- No, shut it down. - And didn't offer his to me.
And I was like,
looked so awkward, this girl in a dress
with my hair all down,
and on the back of this (bleeping) motorcycle.
So we take a drive down to, do you remember Kabuki?
So we go there.
And he's talking a lot about himself.
I'm just waiting patiently for him to finish,
and he doesn't, he just keeps going and going.
And I actually had to be like,
(toilet flushing) I gotta pee, be right back,
to get him to stop talking for a minute.
- That's a good strategy. - Yeah.
And I go in the bathroom and text my friends.
And I'm like, he's cute and rides a motorcycle, oh my God.
But he won't shut the (bleep) up.
(laughing) So I go back to the seat,
and we're talking, we're talking.
And I'm like, okay.
He's like, do you want dessert?
And I was like, no let's wrap this up
'cause he's clearly not interested in me at all.
And then he asks,
do I want any cocaine.
(record scratches)
- That's so generous of him.
(laughing)
- Just instead of dessert, how 'bout a little blow?
And-- - It's basically like
powdered sugar.
- Yeah, basically, right.
And all the dots started connecting.
I was like, oh that's why I literally haven't spoken once
this entire date.
And so he had it in his wallet,
and I immediately was like, oh, my friend just texted me.
I'm going to go meet them down the street.
And he was like, let me take you.
And I was like, no!
(laughing) Don't follow me.
Don't come near me.
- Please leave forever. - And the worst part about it
is that after all of that, I still paid for my half.
- No!
- 'Cause I was at a point where I was like,
I just want to get away from this man
with mountains of cocaine on him,
and leave the restaurant.
And I'll do anything, pay anything
to like-- - Yes.
- This was a situation where I was like,
hey, this was fun, but I think we're
more good as friends.
Six months later, he gets arrested,
and is in jail still to this day.
- You know what, you dodged a bullet.
- Yes, and who knows what slippery slope
that could of led to if I would have let his good looks
and motorcycle blind my good judgment.
- Yeah.
- But he was (bleeping) hot.
That was one of my first dating experiences in LA.
So I was like, well,
I feel like I got the worst out of the way.
(laughing) - It's almost like
a very LA story, though.
- Yeah, but you know what?
Truth be told, I've never had an experience
as dangerous as that, but they've all been pretty shitty.
- So do you have a first date horror story?
- Please, if you do, leave it in the comments below,
because we don't want to feel so bad
about our lives. - No, please make us
feel better about ourselves.
- And subscribe to this channel,
if you're not subscribed.
- Please, yes.
Do it. - Do people say that?
Have we ever done that in videos?
Subscribe. - Subscribe!
We're YouTubers. - We're YouTubers now.
We're vloggers.
(laughing)
(upbeat music)