A2 Basic US 19 Folder Collection
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- Hey! - 'Hey, buddy!'
Huh? Huh?
Oh...that's attractive.
Oh, I thought you were great in "Silence of the Lambs."
Oh, come on, admit it!
All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Fun? Where was the fun?
Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part?
Where's my puck?
Oh, ah, the kid has it.
The kid..
[clears throat] Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers.
You gotta do it, man.
Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever..
Can't do it.
Listen, uh, gimme back my puck.
- Yes, how about-- - No.
- Come here. Gimme! - No. No.
(Sizemore) 'Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!'
Give me my puck!
Now that was fun.
Mom, dad.
Ross smoked pot in college.
- What? - What?
You are such a tattletale!
Mom, dad.
[chuckles] You remember that-that time
you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
- Yes. - Yes.
Well, I told you it was Chandler
who was smoking...the pot, but..
...it was me. I'm sorry.
- It was you? - And dad.
You know that mailman that you got fired?
He didn't steal your "Playboys."
Ross did.
Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing.
Monica did!
Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year!
Monica and Chandler are living together!
Hi there.
How many, uh, how many did you sell?
I'm not gonna tell you.
You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg.
Hey, now, that was an accident, okay?
You're a big scrud.
What's a scrud?
Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
I don't have to. I can just look at you.
(female #2) 'Alright, girls..'
...and man.
Let's see your final tallies.
321 boxes of cookies.
- Very nice. - Not nice enough.
Sorry, dear but still good.
Good for a scrud.
Ooh, yes, Elizabeth.
Oh! 871.
That's crap!
Sister brown bird..
...good going.
Who's next?
[clears throat]
- Hi, there. - Hi.
And batting for Sarah..
...Ross Geller.
Although it looks like you bought
an awful lot of cookies yourself.
That is because my doctor says
that I have a very serious..
Hey, "Yertle the Turtle."
A classic.
Actually, I-I'm reading it to the baby.
The, uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet?
Uh, wouldn't that mean you're...crazy?
What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
You're not serious
I mean, you..
You really, you really talk to it?
Yeah. All the time.
I want the baby to know my voice.
Do you, uh, do you talk about me?
Yeah, yeah. All the time.
But, um
we just refer to you as Bobo, the sperm guy.
Oh, I missed you.
I missed you too.
Oh, I was so nervous about that letter.
But the way you owned up to everything
it just...showed me
how much you've grown, you know?
I suppose.
No, you have, Ross, you have.
You should give yourself credit.
I mean, my mom never thought this would work out.
[chuckling] She was all
"Once a cheater, always a cheater."
- Mm-hmm. - Oh.
I just wish we hadn't lost those four months.
But if time was what you needed
just to gain a little perspective..
(Ross) 'We were on a break!'
- Coffee house? - You bet.
And for the record, it took two people
to break up this relationship!
Yeah, you and that girl from the copy place
which, yesterday, you took full responsibility for!
I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for, okay?
I didn't finish the whole letter.
- What? - I fell asleep.
You fell asleep?
It was 5:30 in the morning
and you had rambled on for 18 pages.
Front and back!
Oh, oh, oh, and by the way
Y-O-U apostrophe R-E
means you are.
Y-O-U-R means your.
You know, I can't believe I even thought
of getting back together with you.
We are so over.
Fine by me!
Oh, oh, and, hey, hey, hey, those little spelling tips
will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday nights
playing Scrabble with Monica!
- Hey. - Sorry!
I just feel bad about all that sleep you're going to miss
wishing you were with me.
Oh, no, no, no, don't you worry about me falling asleep.
I still have your letter!
I was just leaving.
'Cause I've got a product report to read.
It's like, eight pages, I hope I don't fall asleep.
Why, did you write it?
Look at that.
Chip Matthews called.
I wonder what he wants.
Well, uh, actually--
I bet he sensed that I was ready
to have sex...with another guy.
Well, um..
...why don't you give him a call?
Are you sure you want to hear this?
Oh, I'm sure.
Chip! Hi, it's Rachel.
Rachel Greene.
Yeah, um, you left me a message?
Yes, you did. My roommate wrote it down.
Monica Geller.
Oh, that's right!
He called to ask out Monica.
Oh, that's, that's got to be embarrassing.
So I nodded off a little.
Nodded off?
Ross, you were snoring.
My father's boat didn't make that much noise
when it hit rocks!
Come on. 45 minutes.
45 minutes the man talked about strappy-backed dresses.
Well, okay, how about four hours
in a freezing museum auditorium
listening to Professor Pitstains
and his, "Hey, everybody
"remember that thing that's been dead for a gazillion years?
Well, here's a little bone we didn't know it had."
First of all, it's Professor Pitain.
And second of all, that little bone proved
that that particular dinosaur had wings, but didn't fly.
Okay, see, now, what I just heard
blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah
blah-blah, blah-blah.
Huh. You know what?
A hundred million people went to see a movie
about what I do, I wonder how many people
would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka.
Oh, that is so..
No, no, no, a bunch of out-of-control jackets
take over an island!
Okay, come on.
Alright, I gotta go.
So good luck at the party, okay?
Oh, wait, Ross, could you stay and help me get dressed?
Sure. Okay.
Okay, great, um, okay, just..
...turn around.
I don't want you to see me naked.
Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times.
I ate hot fudge off you naked.
Huh, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow
out of your belly button?
Yeah, but that was different, you know?
I mean, we were, we were going out then.
Now I think it's weird.
Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
[chuckles] All I have to do is close my eyes.
See? Woohoo!
- Ross, stop that. - 'Uh, I'm so..'
- I don't want.. Come on. - 'I'm so.. What?'
I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it.
It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend, huh?
- Oh, oh, yeah. - Stop it.
- Cut it out, cut it out! - Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
It will never happen.. Uh-oh, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, now there are 100 of you, and I'm the king.
Oh! Oh, I can do it.
You two are really gonna enjoy that couch.
Oh, yeah, we're, uh..
...yeah, we're not together.
Oh. Okay.
[laughing] Somethin' didn't quite add up there.
What's that supposed to mean?
- Ross! - Well..
I mean, she's very..
...you know..
...and you're like..
...you know.
Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Really? You two?
- Yeah. Rach? - Come on.
I really don't wanna be doing this right now.
I'm carrying a very heavy couch.
Then tell him quickly.
Fine. We went out.
Not only did we go out..
...we did it...298 times.
Oh, my.. Oh! You kept count?
You are such a loser.
A loser you did it with 298 times.
How could you tell her?
I had to, okay? We're getting married.
Married couples can't keep secrets from one another.
Oh, really, well, I-I guess
Monica should know about Atlantic City.
What happened in Atlantic City?
Well, Chandler and I were in a bar.
Did you not hear me say, du-ude?
And this girl is making eyes at Chandler. Okay?
So, after a while, he-he goes over to her
and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing.
Now, I know what you're thinking Chandler's not type of guy
who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
And you're right, Chandler's not the type of guy
who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
You kissed a guy? Oh!
'Oh, my God!'
In my defense, it was dark, and he was a very pretty guy.
- Oh, Mon, I laughed so hard. - Ho-ho!
So hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
Whatever, dude, you kissed a guy.
So then President Steve told everyone
I was a cheapskate
and now the whole building hates me.
You know, a little kid spit on my knee.
You know what I am gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party.
That's right. For everyone in the building.
And I'm gonna sit them all down
and explain to them that I am not a bad guy.
I am not a cheap guy.
I'm just a guy who-who stands up
for what he believes in.
A man with principles.
- Sounds like a fun party. - Hm-m.
Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you
why don't you just pay the 100 bucks?
Party's gonna cost you way more than that.
That doesn't matter!
It's my principles. We're talking about my principles!
Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Oh, they'll like me once they come to my awesome par-tay.
[instrumental music]
Yes, yes. How can I help you?
We were, we were just looking around.
Oh, oh, you're-you're fellow scholars.
What exactly were you looking for? Hmm?
Perhaps, uh, perhaps..
...Dr. Chester Stock's musings
on the Smilodon californicus?
- Uh.. - Uh! Uh!
Get out of here!
Oh, my God! Ross!
What in heaven's name are you doin' here?
And that is why, we cannot see each other anymore.
You and I are gonna have to have a little talk.
- Daddy, uh.. - You're next!
Okay. I didn't know he was here.
Let me just see if I got this straight.
I tell you to stay away from my daughter
or I'll have you fired.
What you heard was
take my daughter, come up to my country house
and ruin my weekend with Rachel.
Okay, please, please, Paul. Just let me explain--
No, let me explain! Fired!
Okay, fine, fine. Have me fired.
But, uh, I want you to know
that you and I are not all that different.
I mean..
...I too, am a neat guy.
And I too..
...am just a love machine.
[humming "Love Machine"]
...let me show you where the guest room is.
Hey, so, did everything go alright
with the, uh...annulment?
Oh, yeah. No problems.
It's all taken care of.
- Ross, thank you. - Yeah.
[both chuckles]
Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
- Oh, yeah. Why not? - Yeah. Pheebs?
No, thanks. I've already seen one.
Okay. Um...I'm gonna get my sweater.
You want, you wanna hear something weird?
I didn't get the annulment.
- What? - We're still married.
Don't tell Rachel. See you later.
[instrumental music]
- Hey. - Hey.
It's the most eligible man in New York.
- How's the moving on going? - Not well.
I went on the subway again, and someone did sit on my hand
but that person was neither female, nor wearing pants.
Well, maybe you're going about this the wrong way.
You know, I mean think about it.
Single white male, divorced three times
two illegitimate children.
The personal ad writes itself.
[chuckles] You know, that's funny, yeah.
Do you, so, do you think you'll ever work again?
What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out.
I can't believe Rachel just moved on
and-and didn't say anything to me.
Look, maybe she didn't move on, you know?
I mean, maybe that kiss was just an impulsive
one-time birthday thing.
No. About a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
- Did she go out with him? - No.
When he called, I-I threw the message away.
Ah, the high road.
Alright, you know what? Enough, enough talking.
I-I have to get moving.
Hey, check out those two blonds over there.
Hey, come with me.
Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Come on, you don't have to do anything.
It'll just be easier if it's the two of us.
Like college. Huh, remember?
First, you, uh, break the ice
with some kind of a joke, so they know you're the funny one
then I swoop in with some interesting conversation
so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding sexy one.
I thought I got to make the jokes.
Don't you have to be at work?
Oh, come on!
- Hey. - Hey.
Hey, I'm sorry to do this to you again
but, uh, is there any way
you can look after Ben for a little bit?
I-I've got this meeting at school.
And he-he asked for his, uh, fun Aunt Rachel, so..
Aw. Well, of course, I will watch him!
We have fun, don't we, Ben?
Okay, I'll see you later, pal.
[laughs] Wait a minute.
- Uh, Ben, I can't do it. - What?
Oh, you've got something here on your back.
That's great. That is great.
What did we just finish talking about, Ben?
"What did we just finish talking about, Ben?"
Alright, that's it! Come..
You, no! You are in big trouble, young man!
- No! Wait! Come on! - No, Ben, come here!
I am not kidding!
- No, you guys.. - 'I'm-I'm..'
[Ross screaming]
[screams] Oh, my God!
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Friends Ross Pettiest Moments

19 Folder Collection
ftsui99 published on August 10, 2020
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