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  • slimy stuarts

  • this is hhtv news bringing you live news direct from the past

  • our main story from the stuart era

  • the plague epidemic seems to be spreading rapidly

  • let's go over to our correspondent mike peabody who's in the thick of it, mike

  • thanks sam

  • i've come to sixteen sixty five where literally thousands are dying from the

  • great plague

  • i caught up with this grave digger to find out how the plate was affecting his

  • work

  • well i've been so busy for years, i've buried 30 people just this

  • morning

  • yeah, they're dropping like flies at the moment

  • and i suppose the real worrying thing is that the plague can strike so very

  • quickly

  • oh, is he...

  • he's dead

  • bishops think they've tracked down the root cause of the plague

  • it's naughtiness and rude things

  • the great plague is punishment on people who are very naughty and very rude

  • as a result too, even the wicked can die of the plague

  • it's certainly a very interesting theory

  • but, can you back it up

  • he's dead...

  • doctors are doing their best to combat this deadly disease using the very

  • latest in modern medicine

  • everybody knows, the best way to beat the plague

  • is a bag of lavender.

  • you simply

  • twirl it around like this.

  • and jump over it

  • like so

  • and is that effective? -oh yes, very effective. i mean, take me.

  • i'm as-- *chokes*

  • sorry i just uh

  • coughed and fell over

  • i haven't got the plague!

  • there is a new group on the fringes of modern english medicine

  • who think there may be another cause to the illness. this group call themselves

  • scientists

  • the most important thing is not just to guess what's responsible

  • we need to take a closer look at the evidence and then analyze it logically

  • and uh, one way that we do this is by using this brand new invention, the

  • microscope

  • hahaha, microscope! hahaha, what do they expect to find, tiny

  • leeches, hahaha. what an idiot.

  • everybody knows, the plague comes from bad air, and all you need, is a bag of lavender! hahaha,

  • microscope. uh..

  • doctor, have you

  • fallen over again are you in fact, dead... he's dead...

  • this is mike peabody reporting for hhtv news in plague riddled

  • 1665, really wishing, i was somewhere else

  • did you know?

  • in 1665, there were lots of theories as to how the plague was being spread.

  • they blamed dogs, cats,

  • pigs, pigeons, and rabbits. but the real cause, hahaha, it was those rats! ha!

  • so, rats won, humans, no. ha!

  • ye sun tomorrow. everybody's talking about it, everybody's got it.

  • the great plague. read our health tips on how you could prevent the plague.

  • yes, you can avoid infection, just by putting a gold coin in your mouth.

  • *coughing*

  • plus: "i woke up in a cart full of dead plague victims!"

  • i, drunk

  • a few too many (?), fell asleep, when i woke up, they chucked me on the plague cart!

  • talk about red on the face, a bit purple in places

  • and all, in fact:

  • think about caught the plague!

  • and (?) depressing stories, oh no,

  • we've got some uplifting news too:

  • the french have got the plague. hurray!

  • that's all in ye sun tomorrow, make ye sun the last thing you read before

  • you die!

  • free coffin in every copy!

  • so, london was right with the plague in 1665, at least 1666

  • must have been better?

  • not! the great fire almost burnt london to a cinder!

slimy stuarts

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