It's just a nice relaxing place is close by and I wanted to see some more than leads up to school, so I thought I'd come here.

I would like a plan on how this video would go.

There's big city going so weird lately.

Things just hard.

Festival high, excessive body.

This is goes out on the lake on a canoe.

Only they just go for the swan boats.

But these guys are like those and everything that really, really going for it.

I just come here after school.

I was gonna make this video.

I'd like a least plans on how I was gonna make this video because I just made, like, a big decision in my life.

And now everything's changed again, and I don't know what I'm doing.

I never know what I'm doing.

I don't know schools really hot.

I'm just gonna say that school is our mark.

Tough for me at least serving on a school.

And it's being gradually getting hotter and hotter and hotter.

And I've bean less and less able to cope with the difficulty level.

We have so many tests we have, like, minimum three tests a week minimum, And I find it very frustrating because I feel my whole time I feel that I'm I'm cramming and cramming and trying to get it in my head and and I forget half of it and try to cross wonder what I've learned.

But I just don't know what I'm doing and I can't speak.

And just like I think maybe I'm at the cusp of understanding stuff.

But, you know, the cusp doesn't feel very good.

It feels like I haven't learned anything.

It feels like I'm illiterate and mute.

They used to be the scale of my class in Asan, and we just got along like what gets a long way.

Just got along really well.

And she was a similar level that I was and we're in the same class, were living the same stuff, so we'd go on, get lunch.

We talk in Japanese and with way news, the vocabulary and really and I really enjoyed talking to her.

And then she excelled and went forward and skipped a class.

And so she she left my class and that was you guys sound so bitter about it all the time.

But I was a big blow and I miss her a lot.

And it was It was such a big help for me to learn Japanese, to be able to talk to her every day.

And I haven't really clicked with anyone else in my class so much.

I haven't really I Just After that, I just kind of like shut down a little bit and I was like, Who?

It's just hot.

It's It's hard.

Japanese is a really hard language.

So yeah, there's been a lot of me focusing on school and just trying to survive on.

My sister was here for two weeks and just eventually it got to a point where I hadn't had a day off in like, four weeks and to study for the test and do all the homework I was getting.

I was going to bed at like 11 and waking up about 4 30 trying to get it all done.

Kiss like passing and doing well annoyingly means a lot to my brain and I wish it didn't.

I wish that I could just be like it's, I get it, It's fine, but yeah, I went down, I went down hard and I think it was from overwork and not having a break.

And I was like Something needs to change in my life.

Something big needs to change.

And then I was scared and I cant change schools.

The situation in Japan It's like there's no like, Oh, you're on your in this this visa that's really easy, Teoh like, except for the working holiday visa, I think that everything has, like this, this sudden amount of sacrifice you have to do so.

It's either.

If you have the working holiday visa, it's great.

Come in for a year or a year and 1/2 ago.

Too many in your country or what?

Easy on and explore.

Have a good time work.

Just, you know, it's a chance to know be tied down to anything.

But your other options are like a working visa, which is either a Japanese kisha where you know you have to know Japanese before you go into it.

You have to be like a business professional if not of all this stuff before you go into it jlp t level in two war in one, or you get him imported by another company or English teaching in the English teaching company.

And to get that, you usually need a university degree in your own country and then to battle of the applicants to get through, to depend looking.

No, she's in governing.

And then the student route, which is good language school or go to university here.

It's a lot of fighting to try to find a way to live here that isn't going to kill you, and other people might disagree with me.

But this is This is what I've found so far, like I love Japan.

Love depended pieces.

It's a really wonderful place.

What culture is something that I can't really gel with, and I find a lot of foreigners have a lot of trouble telling with this.

Well, I find a lot of Japanese people have a little trouble dealing with it.

It's it's tough and so much is expected of you, like even school.

I find difficult and I have a pretty like It sounds so good.

It's like four.

As at school today.

Sounds like it for me.

It's get up at six AM or earlier, depending on whatever, uh, go get in Russia.

Traffic for an hour to school get to school so you do things for four hours and then it's in our home and then it's two or three hours of homework still together.

It's like eight or nine hours and, you know, learning your brain just cause it's exhausted.

I just see businessmen and women every day just going through the same thing, same thing, same thing.

And then they're asked to do overtime and they get paid for overtime.

That's like a huge thing here, doing overtime, not getting paid and overworking.

People are so overworked.

So it's just for visas.

Here is this massive fight of not getting caught in that system for a lot of people anyway, and it's hard.

It's so hard to find a way around it.

It's easy to find jobs here.

When you hear that thing is like people overseas trying to come here, it's usually you know they have to sponsor your visa before they know you.

So usually it's English teaching jobs when you've done all the interviews and everything in your own country.

But you know, once you hear there are other options, but you just need to have the tenacity and the power to just like go through and find, find other options and fight feel visa.

I know I love Japan.

I love it to pieces.

But it could be very difficult to say here and still live a lifestyle where you get to enjoy Japan itself and not just your job.

My plan changes every day.

For a while, I was gonna quit school and try to find a different school.

And I was like, Maybe if I try to get a working visa, that would be more healthy for me.

But they have less free time, even though it feels like I don't have any free time time work.

Well, that does.

So now I thought that the way that I was gonna keep my stress levels down is by failing tests and going back down a level.

But I'm not sure I'm not sure what to do but other state school and just trying to do my best, because right now my best is killing me.

It's I just want to do the bare minimum and be able to focus on other things like YouTube and fun and creativity.

And because my goal in life isn't to learn Japanese, I loathe goals of the school is like build people up in the Japanese double, say they can get into university or get into a Japanese kisha.

And that is not my destiny.

That's no what I want.

I want to live that free life somehow not free.

Free to do my passions, not sweet k Gold Day and get frustrated.

Wake up at six, go home at nine, eat a company dinner and never see the sun.

I know it is possible to have a good life here, and I know it is possible to not have that kind of lifestyle and to to make your own way here.

It's just a lot of fighting and a lot of knowing what you want.

And I'm right now.

I'm like, I need to know exactly what I want and how to get it.

No, I don't.

I need to be more easy on myself.

Yeah, this has been a weird one.

Honestly, this has been very weird, just a lot of stuff happening, and I think it's a lot of me growing up becoming an adult and all that terrible stuff, like I I don't want that I liked living in ignorance It's great where being for the past, however, alone, stressing out been stressing out every day, have little nightmares, have a lot of like her panic attacks.

But that's just my brain trying to figure out the next big thing.

And I'm getting that slowly but surely I am getting its breakthrough time, spring through time.

So it's five weeks until my boyfriend arrives in America and he's gonna live here.

I'm probably not making it any easier for him being like, so odd to live here.

Probably not making it easier for any of you that something like Don't don't listen to me.

If you want to come here, come here.

I'm not telling anyone to know.

Come here.

This is from this room.

I get a bit of height.

I'm not telling anyone.

Did not.

Do not come here.

I recommend you bet.

I love Japan.

It's a beautiful, wonderful place.

It has a lot of opportunities.

You just have to fight heart.

That's it.

This year's Christmas is going to be the first Christmas I'm alone like No, with family or anything.

Well, it would be a line.

I'll have my boyfriend, which will be held this week.

I think we're gonna do the whole, like, Japanese Christmas with Christmas cake.

Sure.

Strawberry shortcake and fried chicken.

That's like the Christmas thing.

And Christmas is more like a date night.

So it's gonna be like Christmas chickens, Christmas cake, Christmas tree date.

So I also have a bunch of projects coming up.

Uh, this'll be out really soon.

I did a, uh, company that I really believe in.

And if you guys think about going to language school and Japan's seriously, please watch my next video just for me to explain about the company, I wish that I had them when I was picking my language school and thinking about which school to go to and everything.

So if you're even considering going to school here or thinking about coming to Japan, yeah, please watch my next video.

Just just to learn about this company could really help.

Uh, I'm not wanted to say that I'm the video sponsored, but I'm not supposed to say that, but I really believe in what they're doing.

But I like the height of my, uh when I was depressed, I had a day where I was like up, and I was like, You know, like, Hey, we won't make a video.

Yeah, sounds great.

I'm going to do something that I've never done before, and it'll be great.

And I'm gonna try really hard at this thing, and it's gonna be totally great.

I'm gonna push myself, which is a terrible idea.

A terrible idea.

Started a skit, and I shouldn't do skids.

Not in that state of mind.

Anyway.

I should at least have, you know, being a good set where I can, you know, collaborate with other people and discuss and have a creative team and not do things by myself while I'm gonna wait headspace.

That's an interesting video.

Uh, but there's a good message behind it.

Please bear with me.

Also this coming weekend.

I'm going to Shema, which is, uh, island, a bunch of islands.

I haven't even looked into it yet, but I'm super excited.

It's gonna be way out of Tokyo, so I'm gonna be making lots of nature videos and having a really good time.

I'm so excited, So excited.

So yeah, that's coming this weekend.

Going to be traveling for four days and just yeah, making videos, skin creative and having a good time.

Anyway, I'm hungry.

I kind of want to go home so I could eat.

But then I need it by vegetables.

Uh, being adult is like, rough.

You have to just keep cooking all the time, and then you wash up and then you cook some time ago.

Now on and yeah, accepting video really soon.

And thanks for always being patient, always sticking around being cool people.

But I just wanna have an honest chat with you.

Thanks.

Watching guys, If you enjoy this video, please give a thumbs up.

Going.

W you want to see more videos like this?

I don't like this.

This is It feels me to say that because this is just like a normal chat.

Uh, yeah.

Anyway, thinks what she and I'll see you guys in the next video.