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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Yo, listen, the NBA Bubble isn't the only thing

  • happening in Orlando.

  • Disney World has started reopening,

  • making Florida-- and the entire state of Florida a Petri dish.

  • [VIDEO PLAYBACK]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Welcome home.

  • No!

  • I don't want to be welcomed home to that.

  • No!

  • I'd be like, I"m going back wherever I was.

  • Your kids are gonna be like, Daddy, is that Cinderella?

  • It's like, no, no.

  • No, no.

  • That's-- that's just-- that's just Guest Services.

  • I'm sorry. - Yeah.

  • Sorry, that's how things work.

  • She's here to move the bodies.

  • DESUS: When I first saw this clip,

  • I was like, damn, they've been out of Disney World so long,

  • cobwebs spread?

  • But not, that's-- that's not--

  • that's clearly not the case.

  • [BELL DINGS]

  • Welcome home.

  • We've got the stool flippers.

  • We've got Chuck, who is a Brazilian jiu jitsu instructor.

  • I didn't know it was possible to see

  • that someone's on wild Adderall while they have a face mask on.

  • But yeah, Chuck is wilding right now.

  • - Yeah, hell yeah. - Chuck is like--

  • Chuck is like, welcome to fucking Disney, motherfucker!

  • Yeah, man.

  • Like, relax.

  • He's like, hey, you want to see me paint Mickey Mouse

  • on the floor with a wet broom?

  • Welcome home.

  • She said welcome home.

  • I don't want-- - There--

  • --to do this please.

  • She don't want to.

  • Cleaning the door.

  • She's like, fam, like, why are y'all coming to a resort

  • in the middle of a pandemic?

  • MERO: Please stay home.

  • Welcome home.

  • Yo, that dog is like, yo, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

  • Yo, y'all really reopening?

  • Rurr.

  • Oh, shit.

  • Chill.

  • They got to put a mask on the dog.

  • The dog is like, Dr. Fauci said

  • slow this down to phase three.

  • MERO: Oh, Sean-Paul!

  • (SINGING): I don't really care about no COVID.

  • I'm still going to make this fucking food.

  • Welcome home.

  • DESUS: Those nametags make me think

  • Disney is plotting something way more than an amusement park.

  • MERO: Yeah. This looks--

  • DESUS: Yeah.

  • MERO: --way "Hun-- mad "Hunger Games" vibes.

  • They made it.

  • They were like, listen, make sure to put their name in that

  • language humans used to use.

  • They're like, oh, OK. - Yes, please.

  • All right.

  • Do not forget.

  • Welcome home.

  • Dad from Estoria.

  • Dad.

  • Hey, welcome home, my guy.

  • Oh, boy.

  • Hey, welcome to fucking Disney World, my guy.

  • - Hey, yeah-- - Motherfucking mouse.

  • You know what I'm saying?

  • --welcome to fucking Disney World, man.

  • Put a fucking mask on, yo.

  • Jesus fucking Christ.

  • The guys sent me from New York.

  • And now, I'm in fucking Orlando. Jesus--

  • Yo, who wants to--

  • --I can't catch a fucking break.

  • --you want to see fucking Mickey?

  • All right, over there. I'll go show you Mickey.

  • He a fucking rat.

  • Yeah, I don't talk to rats, all right?

  • DESUS: All right.

  • Listen, I don't snitch.

  • I don't talk to rats.

  • But if you want to see the Electric Main Street Parade,

  • come back around 4 o'clock. It's beautiful.

  • Your kids will enjoy it. - Yeah, it's really nice.

  • OK, have a good one.

  • Yeah.

  • And they'll do Cinderella fireworks at 3:00 PM.

  • Enjoy.

  • Also, it rains every five minutes for five minutes.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Yeah, Joseph-- Joseph don't want to be there.

  • Xavier don't want to be there.

  • DESUS: You know the director was like,

  • could we add a touch of color?

  • Yeah, there we go.

  • There we go.

  • Yeah, yeah, there we go.

  • Welcome, citizens.

  • Yeah, the Storm Troopers are like,

  • yeah, come to the Death Star.

  • Lowkey, they're just happy.

  • They was like, yo, we always have to wear masks.

  • Now, everyone else in this park does, too.

  • Plus, we're in Florida.

  • It's 100 degrees.

  • Enjoy hell.

  • Yeah, fucking cowards.

  • Wild dark.

  • Your kids' Disney experience should

  • be like the one my parents had.

  • They said Disney World is very expensive.

  • We're going once.

  • You better fucking remember everything and enjoy--

  • MERO: Yeah.

  • --the pictures because you're never going back.

  • And I was like, OK, cool.

  • That is the most photographs my mother has ever taken

  • in her entire life was at-- DESUS: Mm-hmm.

  • --Disney World.

  • She was like, yo, remember this shit because--

  • - I miss it. - --it's happening one time.

  • One time, one time only.

  • And by the way, we're driving in your dad's work van.

  • And we're gonna put lawn chairs in the back

  • because there's no seat in the back.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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B1 US desus disney world fucking mero yo chuck

Disney World Reopens, 2020 Continues to Make No Sense | DESUS & MERO | SHOWTIME

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    たらこ posted on 2020/07/23
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