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-I'm very excited about this.
"IT Chapter 2" comes out this weekend.
[ Cheers and applause ]
When they heard that, actual clowns were like,
"Oh, come on. I was just starting to get work again.
I mean, come on." [ Laughter ]
Let's get to some news here. I read that President Trump
promised that if he's re-elected,
he'll build 500 miles of border wall.
Yep, and if he's not re-elected,
he'll just draw a wall with a Sharpie.
[ Laughter ]
But this is odd.
[ Laughter continues ]
"I didn't do it. That's the way the wall was."
[ Laughter ]
But this is odd right here. The Trump administration
just announced that they're rolling back
efficiency standards for light bulbs.
It was a confusing day at the White House,
'cause every time Trump said "dim bulbs,"
Eric and Don Jr. busted in and said, "You rang?"
[ Laughter ]
"Lock the doors, please."
[ Laughter ]
Guys, I don't know if you've noticed this
but President Trump can have trouble
pronouncing words sometimes.
For example, here he is trying to say the word "inconvenience."
Take a look at this.
-Couldn't have been more calm. I then respectfully said,
"Sorry to incon-vens-- convenience you,"
and I left the room. [ Laughter ]
-Well, he's actually struggled with a few other words recently,
so with that in mind, it's time to play
"Talk Like Trump." Here we go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Talk like Trump ♪
♪ Talk like Trump ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
-So... [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, you guys look good. Oh, yeah.
[ Cheers and applause continues ]
Here's how this works.
I'm gonna see if anyone can guess
how the President is going to mispronounce a simple word.
If you get it right, you get a prize.
If you get it wrong, you still get a prize.
All right. [ Laughter ]
Raise your hand if you want to play "Talk like Trump."
It's really fun. [ Cheering ]
Here we go. Sure, right here.
I don't have to walk far. Stand up, sure.
Oh, sit down, maybe. [ Laughter ]
All right.
Hi. What's your name?
-Keno. -Keno?
-Yeah. -Wow. That's a great name.
-Yeah. -I lost a lot of money on you.
[ Laughter ]
Keno, where are you from? -I'm from Brooklyn.
-All right, cool. I was gonna say Vegas.
In our first clip, President Trump is gonna
try and say the word "heritage."
How do you think he's gonna mispronounce "heritage"?
-Her-i-tawge? [ Laughter ]
-That's pretty good. "Her-i-tawge."
[ Laughter ]
That's pretty good. Let's see what happened.
-And we are reclaiming our noble "herrige" as a nation.
-Ah! [ Buzzer ]
"Herrige" -- so close. So close.
You lost, but here's your losing T-shirt.
A custom-made "herrige." That's for you.
-Thank you. -Thank you, Keno. Appreciate it.
Who else? Who else wants to play?
Get up. [ Cheers and applause ]
How you doing? -Good. I'm great.
-What is your name? -My name's Maya.
-Maya, very good. Maya, where are you from?
-I'm from Northern Virginia.
-Hey, well, thank you for being here, Maya.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Maya, our next clip, very simple.
Trump tries to say the word "lawmakers."
How is he going to mispronounce the word "lawmakers"?
-Law-mack? [ Laughter ]
-"Law-mac." [ Laughter ]
I can see that one. I can see that one happening.
All right. Let's see what happened.
-He has worked in both houses of Congress,
advising "law-markers."
-Ah! [ Buzzer ]
"Law-markers." It's close.
Here's your losing "law-markers" T-shirt.
-Thank you. -Thank you for playing.
I appreciate it. Anyone else?
Who's up?
You? I don't know how to get to you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You, yeah, right there. Yeah, come over here.
This guy just...
This guy just looks interesting to me.
Hey, nice to see you. -Nice to see you, too.
[ Laughter ]
-What is your name? -My name's Matt.
-Hey, Matt, welcome. Where you from?
-I'm from the Bronx. Hey, all right!
Boogie down, Bronx.
Now, in this final clip, Trump tries to say "transplants."
"Transplants." -Turnsplints?
[ Laughter ] -Turnsplints?
-Turnsplinsts. -Turnsplints.
You're not saying any vowels at all.
[ Laughter ] -No.
-Trnsplnts. -Trnsplnts.
-You're actually saying it through your nose.
-[ Muffled speaking ] -Yeah.
[ Muffled speaking ]
-In addition, up to 11,000 more Americans
could receive heart, lung, and liver transpants annually.
-Ah! [ Buzzer ]
-"Transpants." Ah, sorry.
Thank you for playing. I appreciate.
Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That was "Talk like Trump." Thanks to our players.
Let's get right back to the monologue right here.
-♪ Talk like Trump ♪
♪ Talk like Trump ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
-Some 2020 news.
The third Democratic presidential debate
is in less than a week,
and this time, all the candidates can fit on one stage.
[ Laughter ]
We'll hear from the 10 candidates up there,
plus Bill de Blasio shouting from the audience.
[ Laughter ]
I saw that this debate will be on ABC,
which is nice because the winners will get
a boost in the polls while the losers
will get a spot on "Dancing With the Stars."
-Oh. -That's pretty cool.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
Some tech news. Google is being fined
$170 million for violating children's privacy.
Pretty messed up. Not only did they collect
kids' data, they also told Becky that Greg liked her
but didn't "like her" like her.
[ Laughter ]
And finally, Yellowstone's Steamboat Geyser
had a record number of premature eruptions this year.
Today, park rangers walked up to it and said,
"Don't worry. This happens to lots of geysers."
[ Laughter ] We have a great show.
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Trump Administration Rolls Back Light Bulb Efficiency Standards

6 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on July 3, 2020
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