B2 High-Intermediate 7 Folder Collection
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-My guest tonight is Celine Dion, everybody.
-Oh! -Oh, my goodness.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Celine has played giant arenas, small venues,
and a residency in Vegas.
The only place that they won't book her is a cruise ship.
-Wow. [ Light laughter ]
[ Steve laughs ]
There you go. It's going to take a little bit.
-Of course, Celine sang the theme song for "Titanic,"
which is also now the theme for Trump's presidency.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Well, the impeachment hearings are in full swing.
And next week, we'll hear testimony from
Jennifer Williams, an aide to Mike Pence.
Right now Jennifer's like, "If you think the hearings
are boring, try being an aide to Mike Pence."
It's like, "Jennifer, are these pleated khakis too risqué?
[ Laughter ]
"Should I get more of a wide wale?"
[ Laughter ]
The House will also question
National Security Aide Tim Morrison.
Can we see Tim Morrison? Yeah.
Because when you want to look trustworthy, it's best to
walk around in a trench coat and a briefcase.
[ Laughter ]
Looks like a CVS Halloween costume just labeled "Disguise."
[ Laughter ]
Do you guys know the phrase "Netflix and chill?"
You ever heard that? [ Cheers and applause ]
Well, apparently for Disney+,
people are saying "Disney+ and thrust."
[ Laughter ] -Ew, ew.
-Well, NBC's streaming service is called Peacock.
So they might want to change that soon.
[ Laughter ]
A big movie this weekend is "Ford v Ferrari,"
starring Matt Damon and Christian Bale.
It's supposed to do much better at the box office
than today's other release, "Hyundai v Kia."
[ Laughter ]
Some TV news. A new poster for the upcoming
season of "The Bachelor" was just released,
and it features the next Bachelor, pilot Pete.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Check it out. There he is right there.
The slogan for this season of "The Bachelor"
is "Expect Turbulence."
[ Laughter ]
When they saw that, Spirit Airlines was like,
"Hey, get your own damn slogan. Come on, that's --"
[ Laughter ]
Well, it's already the time of the year
for holiday commercials, and I just saw that Kay Jewelers
just introduced a handsome Santa.
Take a look.
[ Laughter ]
That guy shouldn't play Santa.
He should be in a bathtub in a Cialis commercial.
[ Laughter ]
It's like if Santa got a makeover on "Queer Eye."
[ Laughter ] Oh, this is a crazy story.
I read about three cows in North Carolina
who swam five miles to escape a hurricane.
Can we see a photo of them?
Yeah. There they are. [ Audience aws ]
By the way, that's also their album cover.
[ Laughter ]
There's the hot one. There's the sensitive one.
And there's the bad boy. -Ooh.
[ Laughter ]
-This isn't good. According to a new study,
50% of -- this is weird and gross.
-This is a real study. -Yes.
According to a new study, 50% of people
don't change their underwear every day.
-Ooh. [ Audience groans ]
-Yeah, half.
So if you change yours every day, that's great,
but odds are the person who sat in your seat last night didn't.
[ Laughter ]
And finally, I read that more people in their 90s
are doing cocaine. [ Light laughter ]
You could tell Grandpa's on cocaine when he's
speeding down the highway at 30 miles an hour.
We have a great show.
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Trump Impeachment Hearings Are Underway

7 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on July 3, 2020
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