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  • -Guys, it was an absolutely gorgeous day

  • here in New York City, wasn't it?

  • I mean, not because of the weather,

  • but because President Trump finally went back to Washington.

  • Yes! Go, go, go! We're good.

  • That's right -- after spending three days in the city for

  • the U.N. General Assembly,

  • Trump finally returned to Washington.

  • But it was a little awkward when he got to The Oval Office

  • and saw Mike Pence sitting behind his desk.

  • He's like, "I didn't know you were coming back so soon.

  • I -- Let me get these photos from my family off the desk."

  • Actually, a lot of people are happy

  • that Trump's back in D.C.

  • When Trump walked up to The White House steps,

  • it was so cute.

  • Rudy Giuliani started barking and scratching at the window.

  • It was like, "Come here, boy. Come here, boy.

  • No humping, no humping.

  • A little piddle doesn't matter. Don't worry. Good boy.

  • Look at his face, his embarrassed face."

  • It's been a rough couple days for the president,

  • but to put things in perspective,

  • even e-cigarettes were like, "Trump's having a bad week."

  • But the big news today is the release of

  • the whistle-blower's complaint about Trump's call with Ukraine.

  • It started off by saying, "I am reporting an urgent concern."

  • With a president like Trump, officials must think,

  • "Good God, this could be anything.

  • What did he do now?"

  • Oh, you can go to the next one there. Sorry.

  • Did we cut that joke? Did we cut that joke?

  • I thought we were gonna say, "What'd he do now?"

  • I thought we were gonna say, "He tried to nuke a Señor Frog's."

  • Alright, I guess we cut that joke.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, yeah.

  • I like that joke.

  • All right, all right.

  • Yeah, the whistle-blower then said there were approximately

  • a dozen White House officials who listened to the call.

  • Then this guy was like, "Make that a baker's dozen.

  • [ Laughs ] Hello. I hear you."

  • But the biggest takeaway from the complaint was the section

  • that claimed officials had interviewed to lock down

  • all records of the phone call.

  • Basically, Trump is being accused of a cover-up.

  • I don't know. I don't know.

  • Why would anyone think that Trump is the type of guy

  • who would cover something up?

  • I mean, I just -- I don't see it.

  • Personally, I don't see it.

  • But the complaint also said the transcript was loaded

  • into a separate electronic system

  • that is otherwise used to store and handle

  • classified information.

  • When she saw that, Hillary Clinton's Apple Watch

  • was like, "Yo, your heartbeat is off the charts right now."

  • Some sports news.

  • The NBA just told -- Yeah, we can cut this joke.

  • It's not as good as Señor Frog's.

  • That was good. Some business news.

  • Marshalls -- Yeah, I like this one.

  • Some business news.

  • Marshalls just launched its first-ever online store.

  • Yeah, Marshalls.

  • But to make shoppers feel like they're in a real Marshalls,

  • in the pictures online, all the clothes

  • are balled up and thrown on the floor.

  • "Oh, that's nice.

  • And this is on sale? Oh, my God."

  • Yeah, it is completely off the rack.

  • Oh, and I saw that Japan Airlines

  • is now letting passengers know ahead of time

  • if a baby is sitting near them on a flight

  • and giving them a chance to move seats.

  • Meanwhile, on Spirit Airlines, if you are near a baby,

  • you just got a text from them that says, "LOL, sucka!"

-Guys, it was an absolutely gorgeous day

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B1 TheTonightShow trump joke complaint whistle blower cut

Trump's Impeachment Chances Grow with Whistleblower Report

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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