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  • -Joel, how have you been?

  • Thank you for coming back and seeing us.

  • -Thank you for having me.

  • And thank you for the greatest audience on the planet.

  • -Oh, my goodness. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • That's pandering.

  • -It's just pandering. -It's just pandering.

  • -It's pandering, just pandering. You look terrific, by the way.

  • -Thank you very much. It's a lot of Botox.

  • -No. Just down the center.

  • -Just on one side. -Weird.

  • -Well, I start with the left side and see if I like it,

  • you know, and then, if I like it, then I'll do the right side.

  • Yeah. -Oh, all right.

  • -Yeah, this is how I smile.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Hey, thank you for being here because I'm happy that you're --

  • -No, thank you. -No, thank you.

  • -Thank you for the blackout.

  • -Now, is that a -- Is that ring --

  • What is it? -Oh, yeah.

  • No, you've inspired this --

  • This is my wedding ring, you guys.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Yeah, sorry, ladies.

  • Yeah, it's made of rubber,

  • because after hearing -- seeing what happened with your finger

  • and you had a metal ring that got caught

  • and turned your finger into a little deli.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And I said, "I'm getting --" I got rid of my ring.

  • -I'm so happy you did that. -Yeah, I got rid of my ring,

  • dated for a few months, and then -- No.

  • -That's ridiculous. -No, so I bought the rubber one.

  • -Oh, I'm so happy you have that. Good for you.

  • I think rings are too -- They're too strong.

  • -Yes, I agree.

  • I mean, you are the perfect --

  • You should be the spokesperson for rubber rings.

  • -Thank you.

  • See, that's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said.

  • -I will talk to them.

  • I know that you need the money, so I will --

  • I know you need a couple extra bucks.

  • -You know why -- You know why I'm happy that you're here?

  • Because I'm happy that you're alive.

  • -Oh, thank you.

  • -And survived what I think

  • is one of the craziest things anyone's ever done.

  • You swam with sharks.

  • -Oh, I thought you were going to say

  • have coffee with butter in it, but, no.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • That's up there. That's up there.

  • That's number two, but -- -Yeah.

  • Or texted without autocorrect, so, yeah.

  • -Explain -- -That's a shark.

  • -That's -- That's real.

  • -That's a great white right there.

  • -That is not. -That's a great white.

  • That's a great white. -That is Nemo.

  • -That's a great white. Back me up on this.

  • -Yes, of course.

  • -Yeah, okay, that's me.

  • As you can see, that is -- I'm smelling fear, and I --

  • -What was this -- This is Shark Week?

  • -No, it's called midlife crisis.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -I've seen that show, yeah.

  • I'm starring in it right now, yeah.

  • -Shark Week, Rob Riggle is hosting this special

  • called "Shark Trip: Eat. Prey. Chum."

  • And we --

  • There's five celebrities, who we all die.

  • And --

  • -I love Rob Riggle. He's a funny guy.

  • -He's so funny, and then it's Anthony Anderson

  • and Damon Wayans Jr. and Adam DeVine.

  • They said, "Would you like to go to the Bahamas

  • and swim with sharks?"

  • And that seemed like a good idea.

  • And then -- then they said, "Do you know how to scuba dive?"

  • And I was like, "Yeah."

  • And they go, "Really?" And I was like, "No."

  • And so then they go, "Great."

  • And -- No, and then we went down there, and there's 25 sharks.

  • There's ch-- And all --

  • As well, our shark expert is missing a hand and foot.

  • -Stop it. -Which --

  • -Stop it. -Yeah.

  • Which you go, "Are you really an expert?"

  • -Yeah.

  • "Expert," in air quotes.

  • -Right, and Anthony Anderson was there, who I thought I was --

  • I thought I was outgoing like a golden retriever,

  • like, always wanting approval from people.

  • He walks through -- We were at this place called Atlantis.

  • He walks through the casino.

  • Everyone starts recognizing him,

  • and he's like, "Are we taking pictures, mother[bleep]"

  • And I am not kidding.

  • And then he has a meet-and-greet for an hour

  • with everybody coming up to him.

  • -Yeah, he's the nicest dude.

  • -He can heal people with his hands.

  • -No, he cannot. No, no, no.

  • -He made this lady walk. -No.

-Joel, how have you been?

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