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  • -Welcome back to the show, buddy.

  • -Thank you. -I want to show a picture,

  • because Kim Kardashian was on our show a couple weeks ago.

  • -Yeah. -And she showed us a photo.

  • She showed me -- Explain this to me.

  • So, you're out to dinner with Kanye?

  • Is that Timothée Chalamet and Kid Cudi?

  • -Yes. [ Laughter ]

  • -What was -- -And I am -- that is really me.

  • I'm not superimposed at all.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -That's an actual, real photo, yeah.

  • -So, yeah, it was Cudi's birthday.

  • -Okay. -And he was like,

  • "Hey, let's go to Nobu," and I was like, "That's awesome."

  • "I'm going with, like, my manager and producer."

  • I was like, "Cool. That'd be great."

  • So, I got there a little early

  • so I could, like, give him my card.

  • You know, so it could be --

  • You know, I thought it was just, like, us three, you know?

  • -You were gonna treat with your credit card.

  • -Yeah, you know. -Sure.

  • -Buy my boy a birthday dinner, you know?

  • -That's nice. -You know, 'cause he's, like --

  • He's the best musician that's ever lived, and, yeah.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • And it's like an honor, right? -That's nice.

  • -So, I get there, and we're outside,

  • and, you know, we order a couple things.

  • I'm like, "All right, this is cool."

  • Everybody's like, you know, skinny and whatever.

  • It's all fun. [ Laughter ]

  • -"Everyone's skinny." -Yeah.

  • -It's like, "I can treat for these people."

  • -Yeah. I was like, "This is chill."

  • -Yeah. -Then, Timothée Chalamet

  • shows up, and I'm like, "All right, also skinny.

  • Gonna be fine." [ Laughter ]

  • No problem."

  • And then, Cudi goes, "Hey, Kim and Kanye might come by."

  • And I was like, "That would be awesome."

  • And then, I was like, "Oh, no."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • So they come by, and we're outside, right?

  • And then, Kanye goes, "Let's get the special room in the back."

  • And I was like, "Oh, no!"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I was like, "Yeah! All right! Cool, sick."

  • So, we're sitting in there, and I'm, like,

  • texting my touring agent,

  • I'm like, "Yo, you gotta book more shows."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "[Bleep] getting real over here."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • So, then, you know, the waiter comes,

  • and Kanye's like --

  • "What would you like to order, Kanye?"

  • and he goes, "I want that stuff that's not even on the menu,

  • that crazy stuff."

  • I was like, "Oh, my God. The crazy stuff?"

  • -"Crazy stuff"? What does that mean?

  • -I just want to say, like, Kim and Kanye,

  • the cutest couple ever. Very, very sweet people.

  • I had a really good time with them.

  • -Yeah, they're great. Yeah.

  • But you still don't want to pay.

  • Like, "Dude, you're Kanye. You should treat."

  • -No! Like, it was fine. It was just, like --

  • It actually wasn't as bad as you would think.

  • But, you know, it's not like it's Applebee's, you know?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It's Nobu, you know? -It's Nobu, yeah.

  • -Which is like 77 Applebee's-es.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Dude...

  • Did you just pluralize "Applebee's"?

  • -Yeah, yeah. -Applebee's-es.

  • -Applebee's-es. [ Laughter ]

  • -Tell me about what you're doing.

  • I'm so excited about this.

  • What are you doing with the new "Mortal Kombat"?

  • How are you involved with this?

  • -"Mortal Kombat 11" -- it's my favorite number.

  • -I love "Mortal Kombat." -Yeah.

  • Also, well, they are paying me to be here to talk about it.

  • -Oh, wow. [ Laughter ]

  • -Yeah. Yeah, and I -- Yeah, that's why.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] That's really --

  • -Thank you for being honest. -Yeah, no, yeah.

  • You know, I'm trying to get a helicopter to Coachella.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • They were like, "Do you like this game?"

  • I was like, "Sure." No.

  • [ Laughter ] It's actually really sick.

  • There's this guy that I really like to kill in it.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • 'Cause he looks like a real douchebag.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • So, there's this guy, Johnny Cage.

  • -Oh, yeah, Johnny Cage. -Yeah.

  • So, he does splits and punches you in the [bleep]

  • is his special move. [ Laughter ]

  • -Yeah, so it's one of his moves, yeah.

  • -And he just looks like everybody I grew up with

  • in Staten Island, so I just kill that dude.

  • [ Laughter ] I enjoy killing him.

  • Also, he has, like, a hot daughter,

  • which is, like, weird, because I'm lonely

  • and she's, like, not real.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • So there's that in the video game, as well --

  • sexual confusion. -Sexual confusion!

  • With the new "Mortal Kombat 11." -Yeah.

  • The effects are, like, really good.

  • I'm actually wearing --

  • I have to shout-out, "Mortal Kombat" sneakers.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, they exist.

  • -Wow. -Yeah.

  • They are real things.

  • -I like -- My dude I like is Scorpion.

  • -You like Scorpion. Oh, I got you --

  • -That's my dude. -I heard you like Scorpion,

  • so I got this for you... -"Get over here!"

  • -...in case you want to have fun with your wife

  • over the Easter break.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -I don't know if this is gonna fit, but we'll see.

  • -No, I mean -- Yeah.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Oh, me! Oh, I see. -Yeah. I mean, wear it for sex.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Thank you. I understood -- I understand the first time.

  • Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

  • But you do love video games.

  • I heard you're building an arcade at your house.

  • -I am. So, I live with my mom.

  • Well, we bought a house together,

  • but nobody believes that. [ Laughter ]

  • So, I live with my mom, kind of,

  • so I have, like, a basement that's, uh, mine.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It's like -- But that's like an apartment,

  • so I live underneath her.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Yeah. -Yeah.

  • So, like, I'm getting, like, a little arcade setup down there,

  • try to make it -- try to make it a little mine.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -What do you have? What does that mean, an arcade?

  • Do you have, like, a bunch of pinball machines?

  • -Well, no, you know, I'm gonna get, like,

  • a "Mortal Kombat" machine.

  • [ Laughter ] -No, no, no, you're good.

  • ♪♪

  • No, the check has cleared.

  • The check has cleared. You're good.

  • Yeah. You can have "Mortal Kombat."

  • But, yeah, we're good. -Okay, cool.

  • -So you'll get one "Mortal Kombat" machine,

  • but what else? -Well, I'm redoing

  • my whole entire --

  • So, I was calling it The Man Cave,

  • but the Mulaneys told me that if I call it that,

  • they will no longer be my friend.

  • [ Laughter ] I didn't know.

  • Do you not call the basement the man-cave?

  • Is that weird?

  • -Some people do, but, no, you can't.

  • -Yeah, so now I call it "The Basement,"

  • like The Ohio State University.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • Yeah, it means something.

  • -"The." -Oh, I don't like that college.

  • I just -- You know. [ Laughter ]

  • It's the "The" that's the important --