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  • Hi, and welcome to the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

  • I am coming to you once again from my living room.

  • A lot of you have been asking where my pets are.

  • And thank you for your concern.

  • They're hanging out actually in the den.

  • That's where the TV is, and like my mother

  • they prefer Judge Judy.

  • So that's OK.

  • I don't mind.

  • It is June, and that means it's LGBT Pride Month.

  • Yay gay!

  • This month has extra significance to me this year.

  • I know because of the protest of the people before me

  • I can sit here today talking to you, so I thank them for that.

  • So thank you.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • For all the people before me who have given me this ability

  • to be open and honest and out.

  • Every year at this time, we look back

  • and I present awards to some of the people who have made me

  • laugh the most over the year.

  • Right now it's time for the ninth annual Ellen Awards.

  • Already?

  • Wow.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • OK.

  • All right.

  • Andy, have you ever won an Ellen Award?

  • That's a good question.

  • No.

  • I haven't.

  • Well, maybe this is your year.

  • We'll see.

  • All right, we're going to begin with the first award.

  • It's for best tea.

  • This season I started playing a new game called Spill the Tea.

  • This award is given to the contestant who

  • shared the best secret about themselves,

  • and the award goes to.

  • Open the envelope.

  • The winner is Carol for her first appearance

  • on Spill the Tea.

  • Let's see.

  • [BUZZER]

  • Wow.

  • All right.

  • McKenna, which is yours?

  • I have a tattoo on my butt that matches my ex.

  • You have a tattoo.

  • You have a tattoo.

  • All right, and you got stood up by Justin Bieber.

  • I did.

  • Well in-- how?

  • Well, it was my 10th birthday.

  • And he told me you would go on Space Mountain with me,

  • and I kind of waited around for him and he never showed up.

  • Aww.

  • And what is yours?

  • I'm the paper towels.

  • I knew it.

  • I knew she--

  • I don't know why.

  • I'm weird.

  • Oh my God, you got a boob job?

  • And your dad doesn't know?

  • [CHEERING]

  • I had that.

  • Oh my God.

  • Congratulations Carol.

  • This next award celebrates millennials.

  • I'm sure you know who millennials are.

  • They're the ones who already moved back

  • in with their parents before it was required by law.

  • Since this award is for millennials,

  • it's not about winning or losing.

  • So we're actually calling it the millennial participation award.

  • I'll open the envelope.

  • And the award goes to my audience member

  • Marli for participating in my millennial challenge

  • for using a rotary phone.

  • OK.

  • OK.

  • So I need to spin this.

  • OK.

  • No!

  • Oh my gosh.

  • OK.

  • I just spin it to this.

  • To the eight.

  • And then to the one.

  • Ah!

  • Eight, one, one eight.

  • There's a lot of eights.

  • Eight eight four five zero Hello?

  • [DIAL TONE]

  • Congratulations.

  • So far I have zero awards.

  • Not yet.

  • It's not over.

  • Now it's time to celebrate something

  • that's very, very short.

  • Oh, this could be the one, Andy, for you.

  • Do you have anything worth celebrating that's short?

  • No?

  • This award is for the shortest celebrity interview.

  • Let's see who it is.

  • Oh, and the winner is Reese Witherspoon for her World Hello

  • Day interview.

  • Well, I'm sure you all know today is World Hello Day.

  • It's a real thing.

  • So I thought I would call someone and say hello.

  • So I am going to call my friend Reese Witherspoon.

  • [CHEERING]

  • See if she's home.

  • [PHONE RINGS]

  • Hello?

  • Hey, Reese?

  • Yeah.

  • It's Ellen.

  • Oh, hi.

  • Hi.

  • How are you?

  • Hello.

  • Bye.

  • Remember that, Andy?

  • Yeah, I do.

  • OK.

  • I'm sort of trying to be focused on if I'm getting anything.

  • We're getting to the big categories now.

  • This award is for Best Actress in a Hidden Camera Bit.

  • The winner is Melissa McCarthy for pretending

  • to faint at the dry cleaners.

  • Here's one.

  • Fool me once, shame on you.

  • Fool me twice, you fool me once, you're

  • not going to fool me again.

  • Fool me once, shame on you.

  • Fool me twice, shame on you for fooling me, and shame on you.

  • Shame on you.

  • Start to fall asleep.

  • Fall down.

  • Go down on the ground.

  • On the ground.

  • Just yell, Emilio Estevez.

  • Why don't you sit down?

  • Emilio Estevez.

  • Do you know who Alexa plays?

  • Ellen DeGeneres.

  • Ellen DeGeneres.

  • Ellen DeGeneres.

  • And she's been telling me what to say this whole time.

  • She's been telling me what to say the whole time.

  • There's cameras everywhere.

  • There's cameras everywhere.

  • Are you serious?

  • No way.

  • That was a tricky one for her.

  • That was-- that kind of went in a different direction for us.

  • Sure did.

  • All right, we reached the final award.

  • Andy has been shut out so far.

  • But this is for best fall.

  • Let's see who the winner is.

  • [TAPPING]

  • Oh, we're getting a drum roll from tWitch.

  • Thank you.

  • Thank you, tWitch.

  • Thank you.

  • Who's it?

  • Does it say who won?

  • This has never happened before.

  • This is a five way tie between Andy Lassner, Andy Lassner,

  • or Andy Lassner, and Andy Lassner.

  • Wow.

  • Wow.

  • Let's see.

  • I like supporting organizations like Los Angeles Children's

  • Hospital.

  • We're going to round it up to 10.

  • [LAUGHING]

  • Congratulations, Andy.

  • You want to give a speech?

  • Thank you.

  • Ellen.

  • We don't have time.

  • OK.

  • Let's take a break.

Hi, and welcome to the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

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