B2 High-Intermediate 2 Folder Collection
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Thank yeah.
Our 10 year birthday marathon is on Monday.
Where are we streaming on Twitter and YouTube.
Gaming?
Yeah, for, like, 48 hours straight, right?
Yeah.
We should probably, like, tell people about it.
Yeah, we should, Right.
99% of the time.
A comic book villain has at least one characteristic that strikes fair into the hearts and minds of the helpless citizens of Promise World.
Take the Joker, for instance.
Sure, his name might not be very intimidating, but he has a lot of other characteristics that make up for it.
Doomsday pretty much checks all the boxes.
He ain't doing nothing but being a villain and ruining people's days.
But today we aren't going to talk about them.
Today, we're going to talk about the other 1%.
I'm Jocelyn, the intern.
I do all the research nobody else wants to.
Straight from the Desko Death battle.
Now, since there are so so many shitty villains, we're going to boil it down to just Batman villains.
And trust me, that still leaves us with a pretty damn full plate.
Okay, let's start.
It's stupid and moved to really goddamn idiotic.
Allow me to introduce you to the king of Cats who happens to be cat woman's brother and also a complete what?
He's just your average run of the mill cat burglar who happens to dress like this and drive around in a giant cat mobile.
The King of Cats did like one crime and then got caught by Batman.
After that, he felt bad and spent two years in jail.
Think about that two years.
His criminal record was so lackluster he only got two years.
Should play.
You'll do a nickel for smoking a joint.
Try harder next time.
Cat King.
Now let's look at Kite Man.
He's a guy that owns a hang glider and happens to also do crimes with kite themed weapons.
Yeah, that's really about all there is to say about Kite Man.
Calendar Man is a criminal who commits crimes on very specific days.
I shit you not.
It's because he really likes calendars.
Let's see.
Um oh, we can't forget about Humpty Dumpty who likes toe put stuff back together, including his dead grandmother.
Also, he looks suspiciously like Mario.
Sometimes Mr Camera has a fucking camera for ahead.
So there's that.
Before we continue, I just want to remind you that all of these villains were not only thought up, but actually made it to the pages.
And Crazy Quilt is a prime example of the aforementioned mediocrity.
Sure, he's one of the only villains to still retain his anonymity.
But besides that, he is hella lame.
Let me break it down for you.
Once upon a time, a painter slash part time petty criminal was blinded by a double crossing henchman.
In an attempt to restore his sight, the painter enlisted in a risky medical procedure that went wrong.
Now he could only see color done done, which is really so stupid.
When you stop and think about it seriously, try and name something you can currently see.
That isn't a color.
Exactly, you can't.
But seriously, though, the painter saw in such vivid color that it drove him mad and he became the crazy quilt.
That's right.
The old CQ doesn't have any riel superpowers to speak of.
He just has LSD vision, which makes sense because you pretty much need LSD to think his costume looks cool last but certainly not least in fact, quite possibly.
Most is the condiment king.
Yes, see condiment.
King is a guy with ketchup and mustard guns, most likely best known for his don't puns.
I knew you'd catch up to the sooner I've relished this meeting.
Quiet.
He's hardly a villain.
He's a stand up comedian being mind controlled by the Joker and back, he was made to poke fun at the old Adam West Batman.
Nonetheless, he was so lovably stupid that they decided to keep him on and turn him into a real villain economy.
King actually almost killed Robin once.
I mean, sure, it's because Robin had a food allergy and went into an eclectic shock when he was sprayed down with all those condiments which put him in quite a pickle.
You get a typical and condiments and no All right, well, guys and gals, that's it.
Now, of course, these aren't all the bad villains by any means.
But there's some of our favorites.
Feel free to let me know your favorite shitty villains in the comments.
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Batman's Horrible Villains | The Desk of DEATH BATTLE

2 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on July 2, 2020
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