*burp*

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What the fuck is this.

*WAPOOSH*

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES.

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE AND WELCOME BACK

*yelling*

*WAPOOSH*

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTIC--

*snickers*

*pot8oes yelling*

*laughs*

Oh.. that's good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

*emotional music plays*

*crying*

*sob*

SQUIRREL!

Where's the water when you need it..?

I can't believe this..

People think..

..I'm ugly :(

"U ugly."

"You're ugly."

"Pewdiepie is so old n ugly."

Ohhh.. "You look ugly af."

"Pls shave."

OH NO U DIDN'T!

Ugly..

"Why you so ugly..?" (I'M HANDSOME BITCH)

"Pewdiepie is so ugly my..

HANDSSSF

..are so ugly please kill me thank you."

*PRAYS TO HARAMBE WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS*

perfect

UGLY

These subtitles are Dank, but pewds looks down and doesnt approve.

Why does everyone think I'm ugly? (Not me :3)

Is it my gigantic nose?

(Pewds, u beautiful)

Is it my inflated ego?

Is it my disgusting..

..unattractive personality?

Wait a minute..

What is this?

It's a Youtube video innit?

Look at all these attractive people! (Why am i not fking on this)

Look at the-- beautiful!

I'll never be this beautiful!

Why was I born with this Swedish face?

Beautiful..

Absolutely stunning..

So cute..!

So cute!

OOOOOOOOOOO (AND U SAID I WAS UGLY BISH, U WRONG!) R.I.P Headphone users

*Heroic Music*

EIGHTEEN

EIGHTEEN

EIGHTEEN NIGG- (How dare I)

Oh, RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM, HUH?

RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM

Hey, why am I not number one? (Robbie Rotton confirmed)

"How Zayn is at 91 and Pewdiepie is at 18 what the fuck is this."

[...](bruh)

C'AUSE ZAYN, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT~~(Roasting Zayn)

EIGHTEEN, HUH?

*laughing*

"Pewdiepie 18 ? ?? ? ? ? XDXDXDXD"

For fuck's sake..

Okay?

That's right haters, I'm fucking beautiful.

And you know, I get it.

You guys-- you guys get jealous.

..of how you look.

I get it, but you know!

I have many talents, not beyond my beautiful face. (If u know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

*laughs*

I'm joking. Okay?

Not really.

At all.

I'm not joking.

Alright, so I realize that you guys many need a little bit of help.

And, uh, you know, I'm pretty good with Photoshop!

So, I'll take some requests!

I'll try to help you guys feel better about yourself.

'Cause I want you to feel just as fulfilled as..

..as, uh, as I am.

I wanna satisfy you bros.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Let's go!

"Pewdiepie, give me a mouth!"

'Kay, well that should be easy.

(Challenge accepted)

TIMEWARP!!!!!!

Wow! That--

That looks so good..!

You're welcome! (Why did i choose a shark idk im meme)

I don't know why you didn't have a mouth, but now you do.

Just don't eat that pussayy.. Its for me

"Pewdiepie, make me emo."

Alright.

I can do that.

Alright, done!

We're-- alright-- we're done here.

ROASTED (Ight whos next bitches)

Alright, what else do we got?

"My dream is to look like a washing machine."

Okay.

That can be arranged.

TIMEWARP!!!

Das a nice washing machine Dawg!

Alright, then we just gotta--

Make it real big.

Make it real-- real pop. (What am i doing)

Oh god.

We're-- There you go!

You're a washing machine!

You're welcome!

I make peoples' dreams come true, dammit.

I think you look way better..

..before.

"Make me into tentacle porn please."

Fine.

Fine! Alright!

You know, I wouldn't criticize other--

My fans' physical appearance but I--

These eyebrows..

They look like a race track! (ZOOM ZOOM BISH)

*Pewds making a masterpiece as always*

It kind of reminds me of the eyebrows of Brock.

*akward silence*

Should they connect? I think they should.

*Pewds concentraiting hard*

ANIMUUUUUU!!! (◕‿◕✿) so kawaii!!!

You-- Your freckles though does remind me..

They remind me a little bit of an octopus.

You know, they have the same kind of octopus skin texture.

Her wish was, in fact, to be a tentacle porn.

So.

Who am I to rob her of that?

Privilege.

Okay, there you go.

You're a tentacle porn.

Just get the fuck out now.

Fuck's sake.

DISGUSTING

*chuckling* Oh, that's how she looked like. I forgot.

"Make Phil more beautiful. Oh wait. You can't. He's perfect."

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is Phil ranked eighteen on 2016's list?! [he should be] {now, now, this issue should be left for Tumblr, not YouTube}

Didn't think so.

Alright, Phil.

You wanna be beautiful?

I'll make you beautiful. (Okay im lying)

I'll make you fucking gorgeous. (Lies x2)

Oh no[se]! Where did your nose go, Phil?

Huh?

Where did it go?

Butiful!!!

Eye see watcha doing there! (Get it? no? OK, I'll cry myself to sleep)

Uh. Phil.

More like Nose Face!! (ROASTED)

BOOM

Oh no.. ho ho

OHO ho ho oho

Oh damn, dog!

Damn, those are some nostrils, man!

Dude, where you get those nostrils done?

I think we should move on.

"Make Jacksepticeye look betterer he already looks better than you anyways." (okay ur totally right)

Oh, I'm sorry!

Is Jack on the top list?

I don't think so.

M'alright. Let's see what we can do, Jack. (Holy SHIT THIS IS BOOTIFUL)

*burps*

CUTE

CUTE

*singing* I would fuck that guy in the ass.. (whaaaaa..?)

TAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*wheezes* (im copying nigahiga's style of wheezing)

IT'S SO CUTEEE (◕‿◕✿) (kawaii pot8oe man)

AHA

Oh! It makes me cringe!

It's so fucking weird!

*WAPEWSH*

*WAPOOSH*

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

MY NAME IS

(Video unavailable, content claimed by South park)

PEEEEWWWWRG

PEEEERGH (wait how did i get here)

Okay, sorry.

Got a little side-tracked there again.

"Your face on Kazoo kid's body."

*sighs* Oh, the Kazoo kid which I apparently look like?

*whispers* Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, I'll prove that I'm not the Kazoo kid.

Once and for all.

Wait a minute.

*burps*

Oh.

My.

God.

No. *laughs*

No. It can't be.

It can't be.

OH MY GAWD *chuckles*

I've been suppressing the memories for so long. (lol im smoking :D)

Oh my god. How could I have forgotten?

Where I came from.. (Sweden duhhh)

My roots.

I am.. Kazoo kid.

I will always be.. Kazoo kid.

And I'm proud of it, dammit.

[thud]

I like to sing..

dance..

AND

[kazoo playing]

KAAA ZOOO

[more kazoo playing]

JUST KAZOO IT (or just do it which ever one you prefer)

[kazooing continues]

[Edgar] Alright guys. (Oi Edgar :D)

[Edgar]: Since Poods is dead now.. (Y?)

[Edgar] Please-- I've taken over the channel. Again.

[Edgar] Please check out the video over here for more videos.

[Edagr]: So I can get adsense for Pewdiepie.

[Edgar] I hope you enjoyed this video, I guess.

[Edgar] And I'll see you.. in the next one!

[Edgar] Goodbye now! Goodbye!

[Edgar] Buh buh bye! (And us subtitle ppl say bye bye too :D)