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  • FFREEEEEEE

  • *Record scratch*

  • Woah woah, see that guy right there??

  • Looks like he's hit rock bottom..... Well that guy's actually me

  • believe it or not. Now I bet you're wondering how I got in this wacky situation. It all started in the summer of 86'-

  • My name is PewDiePie. I am one of the smartestest intellectuals on this planet.

  • My IQ is at least five...

  • ~ Thousand.

  • Oh don't believe me, huh?

  • I've watched at least, at least three and a half episodes of Rick and Morty

  • The pregnant edition

  • One time I thought about reading HALF book

  • And my favorite hobby of all time is beating my own meat

  • I mean, reading philosophy

  • While beating my me-

  • My fellow intellectuals

  • Yes I am talking about you, although you're not just quite as brilliant as me

  • We have gathered here today to celebrate

  • some of the finest intellectuals on the planet, some of the smartest people, some of the people that just

  • puts humanity to the top, to the top.

  • Here we have "how many presidents from United State an average U.S. citizen know?"

  • "I am from Europe and I know...."

  • "25 of them!"

  • AH SO SMART

  • "I have had I.R.L. sex many times when you are 6'2,

  • Strongly backed, and have an IQ of 181 it is

  • difficult to live the tradlife, even though I- even though I-"

  • *cracks*

  • "Even though I wish I did sometimes"

  • Sometimes I wish I would live down here with you normie peasants, just so I could have an average life, because I am just

  • having so many of the sexes

  • "Just downvote, there is no way you can win a debate against me."

  • AH

  • You feel the power of this brain?

  • POWERING UP 50000%

  • *More intelligent brain messages(intense)*

  • 60000%

  • ieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • DOWNVOOOOOOOOTEE

  • MAX POWER

  • There is no way you can win against meeeeeee *crab claws*

  • (Whoa whoa, see that guy right there?)

  • (Looks like he's hit rock-bottom.)

  • "Wha- what is 'wat'?" nani?

  • "not a real 'word' "

  • I can't read

  • "Not a real word, as far as I'm able to recognize..."

  • "Is it the same as 'u'?"

  • instead of proper

  • 'you'?

  • "A form of Orwellian newspeak like internet slang DEGENERATES use?!?"

  • AAAAh the t-

  • The horrible dystopia we live in where people use shortage of 'you'

  • Into the letter U!

  • What is next? If people are gonna say they're chilling and relaxing,

  • they're gonna start saying 'chillaxin'?(voice crack) Woah.., we truly live in a nightmarish world.

  • "Are you ever about to drop a sarcastic comment, but then you decide against it?"

  • *WOKE SIGH*

  • "Because they're small brains won't understand your elite humor?" Yes.

  • Yes!

  • Preach,*clap clap* this is me all the time when I make jokes for YouTube

  • *monetizing PTSD ensues*

  • "I'm sorry. I don't know who Skrillex is. I was busy listening to Bach"

  • "Chopin"

  • "Tchaikovsky and other various"

  • "classical artists, that I forgot to go bumbling through YouTube to look for whatever that is."

  • "Sidenote: Skrillex seriously just sounds like a bunch of random"

  • "computer-generated annoying noises to me. I'll stick to my piano and violin, tah."

  • Tah

  • Ta ta, my brain too complex for your Skrillex *p-tah* Debbie Greta (David Guetta) you can s- lick my...

  • bayonetta.

  • *laughing*

  • *cough cough*

  • Oh yeah? Well you still look like a chipmunk

  • *Top 10 Roasts of All Time*

  • Boom

  • No, wait

  • [Beep] Oh yeah? Well you you look like a wombat(epic roast)

  • Who- who's- who's the smart one now?(you are pewdiepie)

  • "Nigerian grad student uses magnets to prove gay marriage is wrong."(absolute mad lad)

  • You know what, I had my suspicions it was all about the magnets

  • I- you know, I told my friend the other day actually you know what? I bet

  • There is a correlation between the magnets and the gay marriage being wrong

  • I just don't have time to look into that study right now as I am busy(with what? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) your favorite hobby)

  • As I am busy on my other many

  • ""various pro- projects""

  • *cough cough, gargle, spit*

  • "People mock the Bible because of things like"

  • "Unicorns. Now science says they're real and no one mocks, huh?"

  • "Do some research if you don't understand what I said"

  • "You're nowhere near my level"

  • If you don't understand the incoherent babbling that I'm spewing then you're not intellectual enough

  • [squeaky voice] "Don't even bother me if you're not on my IQ level"

  • Then don't even speak to me or anyone I know

  • Rice gum, yeah! *laughing*

  • "Me: See you later alligator. Her: why alligator?"

  • "Me: Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there's an increased chance that they will

  • see you later"

  • (Incredible power AAAAAAAAAAAH)

  • *driest chuckle ever put down*

  • Oh my god, I can't believe Rice gum is an intellectual just like myself. I always thought this guy was just an idiot

  • Wow

  • *more dry chuckles*

  • How wrong, how wrong I was, my pardon, Mr Rice gum. You are correct, your thesis about the

  • Alligators, of course, how could we have been so blind?

  • Woah, what the fuck? What is this?

  • Well, this, this is a PewDiePie video-

  • *coughing intensifies*

  • "He has risen beyond the mental capacity of an average person"

  • "You speak so formally, it annoys me"

  • "Once again, I apologize, I suppose you simply cannot comprehend the intellect with which I speak"

  • "Now this is not a down play on your end but

  • simply shows I have written far beyond the mental capacity of- of the average human"

  • I feel like that could have just been a troll comment. I don't know...(rethinks his life choices)

  • ~ Or an actual intellectual, which of course everyone that watch my channel is, of course ~

  • ~ It's a real comment ~

  • "You know what? Being a history nerd it's a bit of a killjoy"

  • "Because a lot of things stop being funny, for example"

  • "I can't even watch Pocahontas anymore without gritting my teeth"

  • "And it's sad because it's an awesome movie."

  • Knowing the history about Pih- Pocahontas doesn't mean you're a history nerd

  • "Where are all those women hiding?"

  • "I never met a female that could be even half of my mental ability"

  • "The vast majority of them are average intelligence, at best!" At best!

  • "Which is"

  • "absolutely stupid as F! compared to me."

  • "I could seriously drink 30 shots of vodka and still be far more

  • mentally.. capable."

  • Why have I not found a woman?!(other than the low intelligent waman known as Marzia)

  • Ah, my stupid brain

  • Why do I have to be so smart?

  • Stopping me from getting all these pussy

  • "Happy new year!"

  • "Thanks,

  • "but I don't celebrate New Years. People like me are cognizant of the passing of time on a daily, if not a

  • continuous basis. Hence, I have no need for such a holiday."

  • I feel like this is you Brad? *Laughter*

  • *coughing*

  • Come on

  • Brad doesn't celebrate his birthday or anything like that, and any time I write him, he wrote- he writes exactly that response

  • It's true

  • Yes

  • Mah man

  • Neil deGrasse Tyson

  • A true intellectual

  • "Sometimes I wonder if we'd have flying cars by now, had civilization spent a little less brain energy

  • contemplating football"

  • *Intelligent messages to Neil deGrasse Tyson*

  • I don't like sports

  • *Unable to detect message because of my low intelligence*

  • You don't need your brain for sports

  • *That sound Waluigi makes*

  • We could have flying cars by now

  • * Brain Message to NASA*

  • I'm about to transform any minute

  • *Super Sayian attempt*

  • Coughing and Weezing

  • *SUPER SAYIAN ACHIEVED*

  • (His intellect was too high, and he transcended to a higher level of existence)

FFREEEEEEE

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