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  • Today we celebrate every piece of Squidward art.

  • Let us begin with Bold and Brash.

  • A sunset golden aura surrounding a naked and abstract Squid.

  • It is quite intoxicating, if you ask me.

  • Upon his recruitment at the Bikini Bottom Adult Learning Center,

  • Squidward's creativity was never higher.

  • He saw an opportunity to put his vision of full display.

  • Bring me your huddled masses of bored housewives,

  • and I will shape them in my image.

  • Out of this moment came a masterpiece.

  • As its title suggests,

  • Bold and Brash represents Tentacle's drive to take risks,

  • and tackle new challenges.

  • At the end of his journey,

  • he will emerge a newly formed and complete squid,

  • unrecognizable to his colleagues and rivals alike.

  • Ah yes, Squid vs. Sea Bear.

  • Inspired by a traumatic camping incident involving said bear.

  • [growling]

  • Squidward, are you OK?

  • No.

  • This piece is a re-telling of that tale,

  • where our hero emerges triumphant.

  • Until next time, you foul beast.

  • [growling]

  • Ah, Squidward En Repose.

  • That's French for "Squidward Resting".

  • An avant-garde or experimental piece, if you will.

  • I, uh, don't think that will fit in with the other pieces in my collection.

  • - Why not? - Because it's an art collection.

  • [laughing]

  • And of course, where would Squidward be without his collection of self-portraits?

  • 492 classics each capturing a rather unique emotion.

  • [screaming]

  • This colossal collection varies from real to surreal.

  • A truly overwhelming tour de force.

  • Ah, the Sad Squid.

  • A tragic piece for our tragic hero.

  • Squidward's hopes and dreams died long ago,

  • after spending years working behind the counter of a fast food restaurant.

  • Here, please hit me as hard as you can.

  • Now he lives in a house of unrecognized talent,

  • he truly puts the 'art' in martyr.

  • Simply tragic.

  • What a baby.

  • The Distorted Squid,

  • while of course this looks nothing like Squidward,

  • it is the idea, no?

  • The piece represents the society that our hero inhabits.

  • You see, everybody is an idiot, except Squidward.

  • Well, it's true.

  • His fellow Bikini Bottomites have painted a false perception of Squidward,

  • which can be seen here.

  • Again, simply tragic.

  • [crying]

  • Ah of course, here we have the Handsome Squidward portrait.

  • Also known as "A Naive Cephalopod".

  • We all remember the story.

  • [screaming]

  • Sometimes beauty can become the beast.

  • And no one knows this tale better than Squidward.

  • Finally, we have oppression, Squidward's masterpiece.

  • In order to compete with the infamous Sea Chicken Shack,

  • Mr. Krabs needed an artist

  • to constuct a grand statue of his likeness.

  • The artist needed vision and talent,

  • but who did Krabs choose? Well, I think you already know.

  • What's that supposed to be?

  • This is a masterpiece.

  • I don't have a mouth in my stomach.

  • It represents the gaping, mashing mall of consumerism.

  • And the endless cavern it creates within us all.

  • I call it Oppression.

  • Well said, Mr. Tentacles, well said.

  • They say that art is meant to generate emotional reactions,

  • but they never specify with emotion.

  • [blabbering]

  • The art of Squidward has made his fellow Bottomites laugh,

  • cry, and occasionally burst into flames.

  • My eyes!

  • [screaming]

  • The pain!

  • No, Squidward's paintings were never a commercial success.

  • Nobody would take them, so I had to eat them!

  • That is not what drives his vision.

  • He strives to express a sense of beauty and emotion in his art.

  • And for Squidward, that is enough.

  • Perhaps several centuries from now,

  • the incomparable Squidward will finally get the recognition he deserves.

  • Someday, there will be a wing with my name on it,

  • in all the museums of the world!

  • Dude, you're teaching art at the Rec Center, calm down.

  • Uncultured trash urchin.

  • That is all we have time for today.

  • Tune in next time for more culture, and as always,

  • be bold, be brash, be Squidward.

  • Let me just say,

  • there will come a day when I will make something of my life,

  • and I will never have to set foot in this grease trap again!

  • Yeah, we'll see you after your lunch break, Squidward.

  • OK.

Today we celebrate every piece of Squidward art.

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