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  • What? Don't girls feel insecure then???

  • So they were just friends with benefits?

  • "If you want to I COULD be your boyfriend." I was like WTF

  • Hey guys and girls on Ask Japanese it's CathyCat and today I am joined by...

  • Hey guys it's Hiroko from Hiroko TV!

  • And this time again we want to do a little bit of Japanese love and dating

  • talk with us. Since quite a lot of the guys watching here

  • are curious how to speak to a Japanese girl, become friends or even have a J girlfriend

  • We already talked about it, it's not as easy. Not everyone wants a Western Boyfriend or

  • from another country. We are going to discuss how to transition

  • from friends to lovers. How to confess your feelings to the other person.

  • So....

  • This is a tricky one. How long do... In Germany people sniff around each other for a long time

  • Before they start dating. - How long.

  • That depends on the person while in the UK

  • Things happened a lot quicker - I see.

  • But! What you see now in western countries, which is interesting, that some people

  • do everything that couples do, but they are like...

  • they don't know what they are yet. The kind of like...

  • "are we girlfriend and boyfriend?" but noone is daring to say that. They don't wanna be too fast

  • Don't want to move too fast. The kind of like "are you mine?

  • "cause I stay here all the time" there is a song about that by Lilly Allen

  • It's a big mystery to me. So the confession is...

  • only Japanese stuff?

  • I think in other countries you say "I kind of like you, would you like to go out" but some people

  • don't want to come on too strong right from the start. They probably

  • you can say "I like you, you wanna go on a date" but not "GO OUT!"

  • You overstepping the whole other part of it, while I heard in Japan

  • it's pretty much, you go on one date and the man will go to the woman

  • and say "would you like to go out with me." It's very official or maybe

  • I am having a different image of it. - Before we were dating like

  • "Do you want to go out for dinner" and then...

  • After a couple of dates, let's say 3 dates...

  • Then a guy will confess his love to a girl "I really like

  • you because... will you be my girlfriend" and THEN they start

  • becoming girlfriend and boyfriend. Ideally but..... - In a funny way it seems

  • that Western societies are a lot more shy. We don't drop the L bomb until we are like...

  • SURE we really like that person. You know what I mean? - I see.

  • But in Western culture... - WAIT!! We are speaking in English!!!

  • Oh no not again! I didn't notice it either!

  • Guys don't forget there are subtitles so click them

  • on. You have to click a little gear (or CC symbol) to follow our conversation

  • It's gonna help with your Japanese studies. Let'S do it. - That's right.

  • "Please be my girlfriend" seems to be embarrassing for some Westerners.

  • They are already sleeping with each other, yet still can't say it. - WHAT?

  • Wouldn't that make the girl feel insecure? Like what if he's just playing?

  • Am I his friend? Am I his girlfriend? - I saw that in the UK

  • That's worrying! Make a girl feel saver than that! - I guess so

  • If the girl asks "Tell me what kind of relationship we are" would that bad?

  • I guess those who can say it do say it. Some worry that it's too early

  • and they will scare the other person off. "She's too much"

  • I see. At least at the University in the UK I was surprised to see that with the young students

  • So does that mean they were just friends with benefits???

  • I think it was more like in-officially dating.

  • The time before it's official. - Oh before being official!

  • They like each other but... - They are doing couple things but...

  • us as friends can see that they are more right?

  • Like "I think one of those stayed over!" - Yeah

  • They stayed over, but as students you share houses so you will notice that as friends.

  • And then I would ask my girlfriends "are you dating?" And she'd say

  • "I don't know yet" which surprised me. - Are they ok with that???

  • But Japan is becoming more like that I think.

  • Some boys don't make the relationship official anymore. Japanese girls...

  • will also ask me what I think about their relationship.

  • "He is taking me on dates but..."

  • "We are doing what lovers do but..."

  • "he hasn't said "I love you" or Be my girlfriend." I am shocked!

  • about that. "My friend was worried about that.

  • Coming back to Japanese girls... do they want it official

  • won't they think the boy is being to much at the start? - No no no

  • We want to hear "I love you" and "be my girlfriend."

  • That's good. - Now tell me about "I love you."

  • When do you guys say that? - We say "I like you lots"

  • But we don't say "I love you" ... it means aishiteru

  • Aishiteru... sounds dramatic. - If you said that, you might shock girls.

  • If you say it with a straight face, it's too much. You only say that at weddings.

  • I don't know. - When should a boy confess his feelings then?

  • How long should they date first? - Go on dates for at least....

  • one month or 3 months. You should say it before you sleep with each other.

  • True. That sounds better. Don't copy those

  • modern couples abroad. - But if two love each other but

  • are to shy to say it, but still sleep with each other...

  • ... having that question linger afterwards, that's sad.

  • I think boys want to have the assurance of knowing where they stand

  • But don't many boys want to have their "freedom"?

  • I assume some prefer to have their freedom....?

  • If they want to have their freedom, they should say it.

  • I think that's good to be open about it. - Yeah then girls know where they are at.

  • Take a womanizer for example saying "just playing girls"

  • I think that honesty is ok. So he will only attract girls who want the same. - He will

  • If some people don't want to be serious, they should both say that

  • And those who want to be serious, should voice that too

  • Guys, you need to talk. - I prefer that honesty too. Boys who lie make things complicated.

  • The Japanese love confession is important.

  • It's part of our culture I think.

  • It feels a bit like in an anime "I have liked my senpai for so long"

  • "please date me senpai" - Adorbs! - So

  • I heard that the boy HAS TO confess to the girl

  • Yeah that's the majority. - Why?

  • I don't know. When girls confess they are seen as too sexually aggressive.

  • Girls that are too forward. - Bad image??

  • WHAT COME ON!!! -Generally the guy has to make the move BUT

  • Recently there are many passive boys in Japan...

  • The "B-males" not the "A-Males."

  • In that case girls might make a move. But when a boy does the move...

  • Girls are happier then.

  • An official love confession is important and the boy should make the move.

  • I think that's the case in Japan. I once confessed my feelings

  • to a boy. - You're brave - And he thought i was too much

  • I think he thought I was a convenient girl.

  • He said "Let's meet every day" and I even had a key to his house

  • we went for food or hot springs together.

  • He knew I liked hot springs so he looked them up

  • and we walked there. - You did a lot together

  • but he didn't ask you to be his girl? - He did say "I love you" but

  • "You are cute. I like you. I want to meet you" things like that

  • So I felt safe and fell in love with him but...

  • we pretty much lived at his house together and

  • helped with each others work troubles. He was older than I and intelligent

  • He would help me out. I thought I loved him but...

  • but.... I didn't know where I stood.

  • He also invited me to drink with his friends or colleagues.

  • But I got told not to mention that we would go home together. He never said I was his girl

  • What? - I got introduced as friend.

  • What? - It made me wonder...

  • So I said "sit down on" and he said "wow scary talk coming"

  • I said "I will ask something scary so please sit down."

  • He laughed and sat down. So I said...

  • "What are we? I think I know the answer but..."

  • "I don't want you to lie to me."

  • "I will not be angry whatever you say."

  • "I just want to know, so please tell me"

  • Then he said "I don't want to marry."

  • "I love you but..."

  • "you are in the age when women want to marry in Japan right?"

  • "I will not be able to marry you, so just dating you might not be fair to you."

  • "But I COULD be your boyfriend if you so wanted me to."

  • I thought I was already his girlfriend in a way. He said "I could be so kind to be your boyfriend."

  • I said "No thanks" .... "If YOU want to..."

  • "I COULD be your boyfriend. It's like WTF!!!

  • (fake male voice) "I as boy, like you Hiroko"

  • "Date me gurl." - "Alrighty!" - Nice one. - Saying these words is so hard.

  • Making a move is hard. - It totally is embarrassing! - Yeah...

  • I think boys who can have guts. - This has turned into a girls talk video

  • True and to be honest... we are trying to give love advice...

  • ... but we both don't have a boyfriend...

  • - Lol - What is your ideal love confession scenario

  • then Hiroko? - If I like him but am not sure if I am just his friend...

  • a trip somewhere might be nice. Going on a trip with friends. - Friends?

  • Other people. - You won't go as couple if you are not a couple yet

  • I think that's too tough. When having food later...

  • I want him to say "I like you Hiroko" ...

  • If he suddenly said that, would you not choke on the food in surprise??

  • *cough* What?! - I wanna have that scenario!

  • I want him to say that to me!

  • If a boy tells me he loves me when I am anxious how he feels about me...

  • my heart would skip a beat. - So the ideal is to start as friends

  • and then become lovers. - Yeah.

  • I want to know what he thinks about me and feel safe

  • and then find out.

  • Summarizing today's talk... boys need to make the first move - Ideally

  • And don't wait too long. - Don't wait longer than 3 months.

  • I see. - But some Japanese girls might watch this...

  • feel free to correct us if we are wrong. I don't have

  • that much experience in relationships. We have no clue. Please comment.

  • People are all different, but the official proclamation

  • will make each other feel safer.

  • I think girls should confess to boys too.

  • I think that should be ok. Time Place Occasion are

  • important. How long you know each other - True.

  • and date each other. The place where you confess. And...

  • what you have done with each other already. Love is difficult. - So true!

  • I guess men also do the wedding proposal right? How honorable!

  • I don't think I could do that.

  • No way!!! - No way!!!

  • On that note, love is hard. - Love is super hard!!!

  • If you have love tips for us, tell us too.

  • Nice one! - I will read them all. - Thank you guys

  • for watching. Don't forget to subscribe for more. Catch you soon for anther video and check out Hiroko's

  • channel as well. She is doing a couple of really interesting challenges. Maybe it will help you with

  • your luck in love too Hiroko. Ok girl I see you later.

  • Catch you later. Bye!!! - Bye!!!

  • What type of boy am I trying to imitate here? - Sorry my senpaiiii

What? Don't girls feel insecure then???

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A2 girlfriend confess boyfriend love girl japanese

Japan VS Abroad: When to say "Please be my girlfriend"

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    Summer posted on 2020/06/08
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