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  • How do you find love?

  • Until recently the answers ranged from traditional matchmaking

  • to meeting a partner at work. But now for many, that search starts online.

  • When you're using a dating app, you have to be really open-minded.

  • You can have extremely incredible dates and you can have dates

  • where you're like: "I definitely wasn't feeling that."

  • So what does all this online romance mean for us in the real world?

  • People have been looking for love online for more than two decades,

  • with the website Match.com launching in 1995 and the gay dating app Grindr launching in 2009.

  • But advertising for a partner goes all the way back

  • to the 17th centuryshortly after  the advent of the newspaper,

  • when bachelors ran personal ads looking for a suitable companion.

  • It's believed the first woman  ran a newspaper ad in 1727,

  • stating she wasseeking someone nice to spend her life with".

  • Lonely soldiers during the First World War advertised for pen pals.

  • And in the 1960s technology got involved. Operation Match, was a computer dating service

  • invented by Harvard undergraduates in 1965 that paired people up based on a questionnaire.

  • That all changed in 2012,  when Tinder invented the swipe.

  • People swipe right when they like the look of someone,

  • or left if they're not so sure.

  • When two people like each other, it's a match and they can then start messaging.

  • Another popular dating appwhich allows women to make the first move, followed,

  • when ex-Tinder employee Whitney Wolfe Herd launched Bumble in 2014.

  • Its parent company, dating group Magic Labis now worth $3 billion.

  • The online dating sector as a whole is projected to become a $9 billion industry by 2025.

  • So how have these dating apps and websites changed the ways we look for love?

  • I'm here to meet anthropologist Anna Machin to find out.

  • It's a different set of criteria that make up that mate value.

  • The big sort of overall way we fall in love  hasn't changed that much to be honest

  • because obviously it's evolutionarily ancient. So the actual neurochemistry that goes on,

  • the things that we find attractive hasn't changed.

  • But what dating apps have done is they've in a way changed the way we search.

  • When you get a connectionwhen you get a match,

  • you get a dopamine hityou feel good about yourself.

  • Somebody likes me, that's great, and dopamine is addictive.

  • Users splurged more than $2.2 billion on dating apps in 2019,

  • with Chinese app Tantan seeing the fastest growth.

  • But it's Tinder that leads the way for overall spend,

  • with its upgrade and subscription options generating the most income.

  • Users parted with so much money within the app in the past decade,

  • that it came second only to it Netflix  in terms of consumer spend.

  • But does all of that money mean people are finding their soulmate?

  • Well according to a 2016 study, more than a third of men on Tinder

  • swipe right on every image they see.

  • We're seeing these very extreme behaviors of men fancying everybody

  • and women being veryvery picky  about who they then actually try and like

  • because otherwise it's just not working for them.

  • Match Group, which owns Tinder, Match.com and OkCupid,

  • is the biggest player in the online dating space.

  • The company, which is listed on Nasdaq, made revenues of more than $2 billion in 2019.

  • More niche apps are also springing up, focused on sexual orientation, religion,

  • preference for facial hair  or people living in rural areas.

  • And there's Lumen, a new dating app for people over 50,

  • which is owned by MagicLab, the parent company of Bumble.

  • We'd realised there was a growing number of over 50s

  • who had seen that there were dating sites

  • supposedly designed for them, found them quite old-fashioned,

  • wanted to be using dating apps, but then most of the dating apps

  • that were out there were designed for millennials.

  • We knew there were men in their 50s and 60s who want to date women the same age as them

  • so we decided to create a place where you know that everyone on the app is over 50.

  • While apps have certainly had an impact on dating,

  • they've also been blamed for encouraging a so-called hookup culture

  • and some people aren't so sure about them.

  • I think the swiping feels like quite depressing so it's like every time you swipe through

  • it's like you're looking for a better person, it's almost like there's too many people there.

  • Males are always dominant on the app

  • and they kind of keep on swiping and get less matches,

  • however females are like getting a lot of matches,

  • they have to filter through a lot of stuff.

  • I get messages from people that are completely different

  • to anything somebody would say in real life.

  • Knowing that I feel like I can go home and swipe and find someone else,

  • you equally know that the other person can do that too.

  • I feel like it's the same people on all of them,

  • they are just different user experiences.

  • My hope is that I'll just  meet someone in real life.

  • If you're looking for something long- term, Charly Lester has this advice.

  • One of the key things with the dating is making sure you're in the right headspace to be using a dating app.

  • If you're not feeling particularly confident in yourself,

  • then being rejected potentially by complete strangers

  • can actually have a real effect on you.

  • I speak to a lot of people who, the way they talk about dating,

  • it just feels quite arduous and like it's become really this night time job

  • that they feel they have to do every night and it shouldn't feel like that.

  • If you don't have enough time to be dating

  • then you probably don't have enough time for a relationship.

  • As dating apps are relatively new, academics are only just starting

  • to understand people's behavior on them.

  • And there's a whole lot of new terminology to describe what they're up to.

  • Ghosting refers to someone who breaks off all communication and contact with no warning,

  • while breadcrumbing is when a potential date sends endless messages,

  • but never wants to meet up, a bit like a pen pal.

  • There are some people who use dating apps  who aren't necessarily there to findmatch

  • but they are competitively seeing how many matches they get.

  • They're called collectors

  • and they are simply there to boost their own self-esteem maybe

  • by getting however many matches a day.

  • There's another new term that has come out called 'obliga-swiping,'

  • which is you swipe, and then you tell yourself you are doing something to find a partner,

  • but actually you never ever take it any further.

  • But among the new swiping appsthere's still a place for the more traditional matching technique.

  • Dating website eHarmony uses a detailed questionnaire.

  • We basically then match you according to these 32 dimensions,

  • basically deep personality and value traits that we think are really important.

  • We are getting to the tipping point very soon where the majority of people will meet online.

  • I think we predicted around 2035 it will be the case.

  • What's been the impact of the new apps on eHarmony?

  • They have brought into the category a whole bunch of new users that wouldn't

  • have necessarily thought about doing online dating in the past.

  • Over time and as maybe a bit of swiping fatigue starts to appear

  • and these people's need change and they start looking

  • for something a bit differentvery often we see them coming to eHarmony.

  • So what will technology mean for dating in the future?

  • Will we ever go back to meeting people in real life?

  • This neurochemistry of attraction isn't released when you are looking at an image online,

  • when you're texting, when you're WhatsApping,

  • all these things, you're not getting that.

  • People are starting to go back to what they call old fashioned dating.

  • Because they are realizing that actually,

  • all that swipingparticularly if you are a woman,

  • doesn't necessarily end up with a pool of men that are necessarily right for you.

  • Because they are so visual, they are much more male friendly than they are female friendly

  • and I think we might start to see apps which really do encourage a cut down on the endless remote texting.

  • Thanks for watching. Are you a collector or have you been guilty of bread crumbing?

  • Let us know in the comments below. And don't forget to subscribe.

How do you find love?

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