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  • - All of that still counts as a relationship.

  • - Pinky ring till I get a wedding ring.

  • - Oh, we going there?

  • - I am shocked at what I've heard today.

  • (talking over each other)

  • - Whoa, whoa, whoa, order in the court!

  • (dramatic music)

  • (intense music)

  • - Hi, my name is Judge Joyce,

  • and I've been settling petty disputes

  • since the day I was born because I'm a bad (bleep).

  • And I'm joined by my right-hander, Gadiel, my baliff.

  • - You know what it is

  • Plaintiff Kayline is bringing defendant Michael

  • to Petty Court today

  • as there has been endless debate

  • over the age old question,

  • can exes be friends?

  • Welcome to Petty Court, Michael and Kayline.

  • - Looking forward to today's ruling.

  • Hoping to finally put this issue in the past

  • and ready to move on.

  • - In the past.

  • Okay, all right.

  • - Let's hear the story from the plaintiff.

  • - Okay, I am bringing Michael here to court

  • because I do think in fact that exes can be friends,

  • seeing that we have been friends,

  • and in a relationship for about seven years.

  • We started out sophomore year of college,

  • as friends, and then eventually,

  • he left the friend zone,

  • and now I feel like it would make sense

  • that we would still be friends,

  • seeing that we started as friends.

  • - Okay okay, the defendant, speaks his case, Michael.

  • - As it pertains to this case, Your Honor,

  • in my opinion, I do not believe exes can be friends

  • for the following reasons.

  • The plaintiff has demonstrated jealous behavior in the past.

  • Which is detrimental to the wellbeing of the defendant,

  • myself, and anybody involved with the defendant,

  • so you can see how that can be problematic.

  • - Your Honor, may I interject,

  • just a little bit here?

  • - Absolutely, Kayline.

  • - Well, I would like to point out that the moment

  • that this person here is referring to,

  • is actually during college.

  • You know, college life, you're a little here and there,

  • everywhere, you don't really know

  • who you are just yet.

  • We are now three years out of college.

  • I think we have both shown signs of maturity

  • and I think that a friendship can in fact evolve.

  • - Your Honor, it's interesting

  • that we're having this discussion about exes,

  • seeing that Kayline and I are not exes

  • in the traditional sense.

  • - Oh, we going there?

  • Really?

  • - Yes ma'am, we are going there.

  • - Okay, okay!

  • - The court is-

  • - As the Drake line goes,

  • "Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring."

  • And Kayline and I,

  • I'd say we were in a seven year situationship.

  • If anything. - [Kayline] What?

  • - And, with that being said,

  • I don't even know why we're in the court today.

  • - First so all, okay,

  • because now you getting me out of my professional, okay-

  • - Order in the court!

  • Order in the court.

  • Kayline you may speak.

  • - Number one, I feel like that is the issue

  • with this generation,

  • and this is a prime example.

  • Investing time, investing love,

  • investing yourself into another person,

  • regardless of if it was boyfriend and girlfriend,

  • still counts as a relationship, regardless.

  • Number one, eh eh, eh eh-

  • (Kayline and Michael talk over each other)

  • - Aye aye, whoa whoa whoa, order in the court!

  • Before I get my bayliff, my hitter.

  • - Yeah it's order in the court, calm down.

  • - Thank you, and number two,

  • if I do go back to my history here,

  • I do want to make it clear

  • that we did in fact date for at least a week.

  • Now, I get it, I get it,

  • that's nothing technically compared

  • to the seven year time span, right?

  • But at the end of the day,

  • was this man not someone

  • that I told all of my deepest darkest secrets to.

  • Was this not the one man

  • that I went to laugh with, yes.

  • So I think that is an argument-

  • - Wasn't that the one man that you played?

  • (guitar strum)

  • - Oh.

  • - Okay Michael, please come to the court

  • and speak your truth.

  • I wish I had some wine, let's get started.

  • - In the past,

  • and you may be asking, you know,

  • why didn't it work out between the two of us?

  • I'm here today to tell you

  • that it didn't work out

  • because the plaintiff was unserious about the defendant.

  • Oftentimes, she left the defendant for other people,

  • while I was here, taking care of the home.

  • You can understand how a resentment can develop and build

  • in large part due to her failures to be a good partner.

  • - Before you answer, Kayline,

  • I will say something.

  • This relationship, it sounds like a friends with benefits.

  • I do know Kayline on a personal level,

  • so I know that she was probably protecting herself

  • and her heart, but in a relationship,

  • it takes two to make a failure.

  • So let's make sure in this court, we are honest,

  • because petty always has a little bit of truth.

  • - I just wanna say that when I was very serious

  • about making a commitment to this man,

  • he, himself, I get it, like he wanted to protect himself

  • at that point.

  • He was not serious.

  • So I do feel as though we have never been

  • on the same page, which could also resolved

  • into why we are now exes,

  • and I also want to say that exes can be friends

  • because number one, I can give you examples.

  • We have Jason Momoa, right?

  • And Lisa Bonet, they're together, right?

  • But before she was with Lenny Kravitz,

  • and Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet have a great relationship

  • and the two guys actually-

  • - Your Honor-

  • - I'm sorry, I'm speaking. I'm sorry.

  • They have matching rings.

  • 'Cause they're just so close.

  • So they are able to coexist together.

  • Another example, Will Smith and Jada and Sheree, okay?

  • They are doing their thing,

  • and they are raising multiple children together,

  • and they are all friends, okay?

  • - There are many cases of relationships

  • that didn't go well, or haven't gone well.

  • Large case in point, Ciara and Future.

  • Their relationship is problematic.

  • - He was trash!

  • - That's debatable and hearsay, Your Honor.

  • - All right all right,

  • let's bring the witness to the stand.

  • - Actually, Your Honor, I object.

  • The defense has not had any prior knowledge

  • of this witness entering the courtroom.

  • - Well, it's petty, so,

  • let the witness come up.

  • - Witness, please introduce yourself.

  • - Hello, my name is Jameer, I'm Kayline's coworker.

  • - You have to say the whole truth, real truth,

  • and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

  • (Jameer imitates bird chirping)

  • - Yep.

  • (laughing)

  • - I (audio cuts out) word. Or a-

  • - Word. - Let's get started.

  • - First of all Your Honor,

  • I am shocked at what I've heard today.

  • They were spilling tea that I didn't expect to be so hot.

  • - This is Petty Court.

  • If it ain't hot, then it's not gonna be

  • in this (bleep) courtroom.