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  • - [ Pager Ringing ] - I don't want to hear excuses.

  • I just want to hear your assignments read aloud in a slow and peaceful--

  • - You,Joshua. Go. - Uh, my dog ate it?

  • - I know you don't have a dog. - Right. Sorry.

  • - Miss Caldwell? - Yes, Kaylee?

  • Can you open the door? It's kinda toasty in here.

  • I suppose so.

  • [ Grunts ]

  • Jason Shepherd, did you just come in from that window?

  • No. You looked flushed. I was just creating a cross-draft.

  • Now that we're all comfortable, why don't you read us your story?

  • Let's give someone else a chance. No, we'd like to hear yours.

  • You did do it, didn't you?

  • Miss Caldwell-- can I call you Phyllis?

  • - No. - Understood.

  • But as much as I wanted to write my paper--

  • I mean, I really, really wanted to write my paper--

  • I couldn't.

  • And it's because I spent all last night in the Greenbury General emergency room.

  • See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner. It's my dad's favorite.

  • He was so excited, he accidentally swallowed one whole.

  • It was awful! He started choking. His faced turned purple.

  • The meatball was bulging out of his neck. We rushed him to the E.R.

  • I kept trying to write my paper in the waiting room, but it was too hard.

  • I needed to be by my father's side. After all, he's the only dad I got.

  • You're lying through your teeth, you little demon.

  • I wish I were, Phyllis. Call my dad if you want.

  • His number's 555-0 1 4 7.

  • I think I will.

  • Are you crazy? You're totally gonna get busted.

  • Say ''Harry Shepherd's office.'' No way. Don't drag me into this.

  • - Come on. Help me out. What am I supposed to do? - How about write the paper?

  • - Do it. Do it! - No. No!

  • Harry Shepherd's office. One moment please.

  • [ Tired, Sick Voice ] Hello? Oh, hello. Miss Caldwell.

  • Yes, it's true. It was terrifying!

  • I started to see the white light.

  • I was just about to cross over to the other side,

  • when I heard the voice of an angel calling out, and when I opened my eyes,

  • I saw my sweet, sweetJason standing over me.

  • And I said, ''Back off, Grim Reaper.

  • I ain't done living yet.''

  • And with every ounce of gas I had left in my body,

  • I burped that meatball right across the room.

  • And I owe it all to my son.

  • I'm sorry, Miss Caldwell. I should stop talking now.

  • My throat is still very sore.

  • Thank you.

  • - [ Door Opens ] -Jason!

  • I am so sorry!

  • You just take your time handing in that assignment.

- [ Pager Ringing ] - I don't want to hear excuses.

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