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  • Marty: Mom...

  • ...is that you?

  • Lorraine: There, there, now...

  • ...just relax.

  • You've been asleep for almost nine hours now.

  • Marty: I had a horrible nightmare...

  • ...dreamed I went...

  • ...back in time.

  • It was terrible.

  • Lorraine: Well...

  • ...safe and sound, now, back in good old 1955.

  • Marty: 1955?!

  • You're my ma...

  • ...you're my ma.

  • Lorraine: My name's Lorraine...

  • ...Lorraine Baines.

  • Marty: Yeah...

  • ...but you're uh...

  • ...you're so uh...

  • ... you're so...

  • ...thin!

  • Lorraine: Just relax now Calvin, you've got a big bruise on you're head.

  • Marty: Ah, where're my pants?

  • Lorraine: Over there...

  • ...on my hope chest.

  • I've never seen purple underwear before, Calvin.

  • Marty: Calvin...

  • ...why do you keep calling me Calvin?

  • Lorraine: Well that's your name, isn't it?

  • Calvin Klein.

  • It's written all over your underwear.

  • I guess they call you Cal, huh?

  • Marty: Actually, people...

  • ...call me Marty.

  • Lorraine: Oh...

  • ...pleased to meet you, Calvin...

  • ...Marty...

  • ...Klein.

  • Do you mind if I sit here?

  • Marty: No, fine, no, good, fine...

  • ...good.

  • Lorraine: That's a big bruise you have there.

  • Stella: Lorraine, are you up there?

  • Lorraine: My god, it's my mother.

  • Quick!

  • Put your pants back on.

  • Stella: So tell me, Marty, how long have you been in port?

  • Marty: Excuse me.

  • Stella: Yeah, I guessed you're a sailor, aren't you, that's why you wear that life preserver.

  • Marty: Uh, coast guard.

  • Stella: Sam, here's the young man you hit with your car out there.

  • He's alright, thank god.

  • Sam: What were you doing in the middle of the street, a kid your age?

  • Stella: Don't pay any attention to him, he's in one of his moods.

  • Sam, quit fiddling with that thing, come in here to dinner.

  • Now let's see, you already know Lorraine...

  • ...this is Milton, this is Sally...

  • ...that's Toby...

  • ...and over there in the playpen is little baby Joey.

  • Marty: So you're my Uncle Joey.

  • Better get used to these bars, kid.

  • Stella: Yes, Joey just loves being in his playpen.

  • He cries whenever we take him out so we just leave him in there all the time.

  • Well Marty, I hope you like meatloaf.

  • Marty: Well, uh, listen, uh, I really...

  • Lorraine: Sit here, Marty.

  • Stella: Sam, stop fiddling with that thing and come in here and eat your dinner.

  • Sam: Ho ho ho, look at it roll.

  • Now we could watch Jackie Gleason while we eat.

  • Lorraine: Our first television set, Dad just picked it up today.

  • Do you have a television?

  • Marty: Well yeah, you know we have two of them.

  • Milton: Wow!

  • You must be rich.

  • Stella: Oh honey, he's teasing you, nobody has two television sets.

  • Marty: Hey...

  • ...hey, I've seen this one, I've seen this one. This is a classic.

  • ...this is where Ralph dresses up as the man from space.

  • Milton: What do you mean you've seen this?

  • ...it's brand new.

  • Marty: Yeah well, I saw it on a...

  • ...rerun.

  • Milton: What's a rerun?

  • Marty: You'll find out.

  • Stella: You know Marty, you look so familiar, do I know your mother?

  • Marty: Yeah, I think maybe you do.

  • Stella: Oh, then I wanna give her a call, I don't want her to worry about you.

  • Marty: You can't, uh...

  • ...that is, uh, nobody's here.

  • Nobody's home.

  • Stella: Oh.

  • Marty: Yet.

  • Stella: Oh.

  • Marty: Uh listen, do you know where Riverside Drive is?

  • Sam: It's uh, the other end of town, a block past Maple.

  • East end of town.

  • Marty: A block passed Maple, that's John F. Kennedy Drive.

  • Sam: Who the hell is John F. Kennedy?

  • Lorraine: Uh, mother...

  • ...uh...

  • ...with Marty's parents out of town...

  • ...don't you think he ought to spend the night...

  • ...after all, Dad almost killed him with the car.

  • Stella: That's true, Marty.

  • I think you should spend the night. I think you're our responsibility.

  • Marty: Well gee, I don't know.

  • Lorraine: And he could sleep in my room.

  • Marty: I gotta go, uh...

  • ...I gotta go. Thanks very much, it was wonderful, you were all great.

  • See you all later...

  • ...much later.

  • Stella: He's a very strange young man.

  • Sam: He's an idiot.

  • ...comes from upbringing, parents were probably idiots too.

  • Lorraine, if you ever have a kid like that, I'll disown you.

Marty: Mom...

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