Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [ Tires Squealing ] What's your problem, schmuck ? l'm an inconsiderate prick ! [ Siren Wailing ] Oh, shit ! Shit ! - You know why l pulled you over ? - Depends on how long you were following me ! - Why don't we take it from the top ? - Here goes. l sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign, l almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield, l changed lanes without signaling while speeding ! - Is that all ? - No. l have unpaid parking tickets. [ Groans ] Be gentle. Audrey ! Wait ! Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait ! Wait. l iust had an insight into myself. l'm crazy. You call and say, ''Wait, l'll be right over,'' and here's the crazy part-- l actually wait. - l can explain this. - l have missed a department meeting. - Did you come in a cab ? - Yes ! Where's your car ? Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me. - l can. $1,654.11. - How do you sleep at night ? l'm takin' this. [ Inhales Loudly ] [ Loud Crunch ] [ Tires Squealing ] You scratched my car ! - Where ? - Right there ! Oh, there. That was already there. Why, you-- You liar ! -You know what l'm gonna do about this ? -What ? Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life, and you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway ! So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk... and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe ! You been here before, haven't ya ?