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  • So did you bring a condom you bet I did oh

  • Oh No I traded coats with that homeless man. What?! nothing, one moment

  • What there's nothing I can't find oh God, huh?

  • Every single day all the time local crime boys do a big illegal crime

  • Over 3,000 crime boys were given a new home last year a home with lots of metal bars

  • But what about the lots and lots of bad deters that stay outside not in a cage at all outside?

  • Where they can shoot a bank or yell at a dog?

  • Hello, I'm fancy suit man John Batman will you do your part to cage up the crime guy or two what about three

  • Look at this sad boy, and this one. It's a girl. Also sad because she's in a box with bars

  • Don't you want to help her stay there forever?

  • Every day I punch a bad guy until he's in a cage. Why don't you punch some money into a mailbox?

  • For as little as a small fortune. You'll keep these meanings behind bars

  • Call now and get a photo of one you helped cage up. I don't have a phone so put a light in the cloud

  • People with money just like you put a bunch of crime dinners in a cage last time crime dinners like scared crow the Pangolin

  • one face

  • dr. Crux

  • clown town cat nips egg legs the Madlib bad hat Barbara Bush and Fanny morph

  • Like Johnny questions question marks man professor millionaire doctor man

  • Batman questions mark weep day William Hartley quim mr.. Ice guy and many more

  • Many more is a villain also for as little as 10% of your taxes. You could box up a bad boy

  • Don't believe me ask another fancy suit man, but just a regular suit not a bad suit Bruce Wayne. I don't pay taxes. I'm rich

  • Sound smart brutes

  • When you give us your money, we only keep some of it the rest buys bars and walls and locks if there's enough left

  • This little guy needs a forever home

  • But instead of in a house its prison forever once you put him there forever if you don't give us the money

  • He'll just robbed it from your purse or bank

  • Okay, go Robert won't you pull a light on a cloud so John Batman can put a lock on a cloud?

  • No, don't poke him

  • There's a bad boy

  • But if you wanna stop a crime time and you don't

  • You can send a son Oh

  • Ow

  • Bro did you know you eat an average of one spider at night whatever dude, that's a total myth

  • Statistics like that are always made up no way bro. It's totally legit

  • Oh

  • Come on buddy you promised me, you'd have your room clean by now whoops. Sorry dad. Hey Dad

  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark now? We can't right now frostbite get it

  • Very funny, but we're not done talking about your room. Hey Dad. What do you get when you cross Rachel with a gorilla?

  • Son you promised me you would clean your dumb gorilla

  • Hey now apologize to your sister nah she sucks hey Dad, what do you get when you cross them stop right there

  • I've got one of my own

  • Really, let me have it all right listen closely

  • What do you get when you cross your dad with a bad attitude?

  • Is it pants is it is it

  • Hey Dad, what are you giving you cross bleach with ammonia

  • Mustard gas huh, that's not very funny

  • Take this my son for it is my body, thank you Jesus

  • and

  • Take this for it is my blood. Yes, Jesus

  • Take this my son, or it is my hair uh

  • Okay Jesus

  • And this is my head

  • Jesus, it's ready, it's perfect. Oh shit here they come

  • Well

  • Well, what do we have?

  • Here looks like a dark definitely a dork with that and definitely a dork with that hair

  • What do you say we give it a wash yeah, that should fix it

  • There you go dork, huh Wow and the final touches Wow

  • Thanks, you're welcome dork

  • Hey, are you boys smoking in here?

  • And

  • That's why scientists have calculated that our solar system formed nearly 5 billion years ago. No

  • Didn't happen

  • It was six thousand years ago what that's ridiculous the earth alone is over 4.5 billion years old

  • Nope, don't think so

  • science proves it the data shows that

  • No using carbon dating and sediment layers we know then

  • 6,000 years ago it was

  • Billions of years after the Sun formed the leftover gases condensed, and here's a condensed gas, Floria teach I

  • Wish we could keep God out of our schools

  • It won't be long now you should say your goodbyes who dad

  • No do you allow this isn't the end we'll be together again

  • Don't be sad I'll be with you drama someday

  • And

  • Again for those just tuning in scientists have in fact confirmed that the solar flare will hit the earth within ten minutes

  • We are looking at a total extinction event hold your families close. This is Abby babble signing off

  • good luck and Godspeed

  • What what do we do now don't worry son I'll get my ladder

  • Come on boy we have to go

  • Mom-mom and everyone else don't worry my boy. Your mother will always live on in our hearts now. Let's go

  • Here we are son this is our new home

  • But, but what if they don't accept us I have a feeling, babe will

  • Ah

  • I

  • Can't believe

  • I knew it you were cheating on me you

  • interdimensional hussy

  • it's not like this is how you treat a royal trial it from chapter Zig my 49 brood mothers were right about you I

  • Just wanted to mix things up this relationship is over. I'm out of here catch you on the flip-flop, bitch

  • I

  • Believe, I'll be

  • Taking that loot old-timer. No way I found it. It's mine. I'm afraid. I'm gonna have to

  • insist

  • I don't think so

  • I

  • Believe I will be taking that Polti now hold it right there

  • As sheriff of this County I'm claiming that prize for the taxpayers

  • I don't think so, Kemosabe this land belongs to my people which means that belongs to us

  • Booty for meself

  • Oh

  • Bitches I

  • Know you only think about taking my money, baby all civilians

  • That chest and the contents therein is the property of the US government?

  • Hey, don't you all think that maybe just maybe the real treasure here is friendship?

  • No the real treasure. Be treasure

So did you bring a condom you bet I did oh

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B1 US crime hey dad cage dork son cross

Cyanide & Happiness Compilation - #19

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    陳景孺 posted on 2020/05/11
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