B1 Intermediate 2 Folder Collection
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-Welcome to "Late Night." How's everybody doing?
If you wanna know how I'm doing --
every doll in this attic
has a first and last name now.
[ Laughing ] Isn't that right, Miss Claudia Calloway?
[ Laughs ] You're my best friend?
Let's get to the news.
President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump
held a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden today
for the National Day of Prayer,
but, when she opened her eyes,
he was still there.
During an Oval Office event yesterday,
President Trump called the coronavirus
the invisible enemy and said he views the virus like a war.
In other words, safely, from thousands of miles away.
That's right, President Trump called the coronavirus
the "invisible enemy."
But, to be fair, that's also what he calls
the little piece of lettuce they try to hide in his burgers.
[ As Trump ] Nice try, invisible enemy.
After declaring yesterday National Nurses Day,
President Trump met with a group of nurses in the Oval Office.
Said Trump, "I just want you guys to know
you're my favorite category."
German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced yesterday
that the country would begin the next phase
of reopening from the coronavirus pandemic.
And this is cool --
she might finally get to see her hairstylist.
If we can't -- I know, but if we can't joke
about that now, [ Mumbling ] I don't know.
What else is there for us?
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is reportedly planning
to travel to Israel next week for a 24-hour visit
amid the coronavirus pandemic, which, if you ask me,
Israeli ["is really" unnecessary.
Matt Goldich wrote a joke whose punch line is
"Israeli ["is really"] unnecessary."
Mother's Day is this Sunday,
so now all I have to do is figure out when Sunday is.
Is today Sunday? Hm.
The CEO of grocery chain Kroger said yesterday
that Americans will have meat during the coronavirus pandemic,
so long as they are "flexible."
Although, isn't being flexible on meat
what got us into this, in the first place?
So...
Tomorrow is No Socks Day.
Good! 'Cause I'm startin' to feel creepy,
walkin' around the house wearing just socks.
[ Laughs ] Finally, budget airline Allegiant Air
has begun offering customers
free health and safety kits on all flights
to stop the spread of coronavirus.
That story again -- Some airline you never heard of
is offering you more help than your president.
That was the monologue, everybody.
And shout-out to my son Ashe,
who promised he would be quiet the whole monologue,
and he did it.
Good job, buddy. -Thank you.
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President Trump and Melania Trump Celebrate National Day of Prayer

2 Folder Collection
林宜悉 published on May 9, 2020
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