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  • -I've known my brother Josh all his life, but it wasn't

  • until last week that we saw an uncanny resemblance

  • to California Governor Gavin Newsom.

  • So here it is again -- California resident Josh Meyers

  • as the governor of California.

  • -Good afternoon.

  • Despite what you might have heard from places

  • like Washington, D.C., Florida, or your cousin Doug,

  • who is not a reliable source on facts,

  • the coronavirus hasn't gone away.

  • In California, we've bent the curve

  • like a thick-necked bodybuilder on Venice Beach,

  • but unfortunately the virus is still here.

  • Just like Devin Nunes, who recently started podcasting

  • from his house with his laptop perched on what appeared to be

  • a Squatty Potty.

  • How apropos.

  • And, again, let me stress that, as a Gavin,

  • it brings me no joy to attack a Devin.

  • We're supposed to be natural allies.

  • In fact, the Gavins and Devins

  • were two of the founding clans of California.

  • And it was a caveman Gavin who first uttered to a caveman Devin

  • the now-famous California line --

  • "'Sup, brah?"

  • Moving on, the California weather

  • continues to be absolutely stellar.

  • And I know people are eager to go out, get their grub on,

  • do some maxin', and also a good deal of relaxin'.

  • But stay-at-home orders are still in effect.

  • Some Californians continue to thumb their noses

  • at these orders which are intended to save lives.

  • But this virus is like the movie "Point Break."

  • It's going to stand the test of time.

  • And it's nothing like the remake of "Point Break"

  • that came out in 2015

  • without most people even noticing it was a thing.

  • Now, I don't watch a lot of TV 'cause I'm the governor

  • and I have more important things to do,

  • but I've noticed that the President isn't the only one

  • who's received national coverage of his daily press briefings.

  • New York governor Andrew Cuomo

  • has also become a ubiquitous presence on the boob tube.

  • And I've been told many consider him "The Hot Governor."

  • And don't get me wrong. He's a handsome man.

  • But if you think he's The Hot Governor,

  • all I have to say is, "Look."

  • That's it. Just look.

  • I'll give you a few seconds.

  • I don't get it. Is it a time-zone thing?

  • Because if you think he's hot...

  • just wait three hours.

  • Again, good-looking guy.

  • But we're all wearing masks here, not blindfolds, right?

  • But back to the matter at hand.

  • In order to track potential coronavirus outbreaks,

  • please be on the lookout for symptoms such as fever,

  • sore throat, or loss of taste.

  • An example of loss of taste

  • would be thinking Andrew Cuomo is hotter than me.

  • If you think that, even for a second,

  • get yourself to the E.R.

  • We are going to get through this.

  • You know, back in the 1800s,

  • Horace Greeley said, "Go west, young man. Go west."

  • And sure enough, California's golden coastline

  • was waiting for those brave souls

  • willing to make the journey,

  • and it'll still be here after this is all over.

  • And to Devin Nunes,

  • maybe you want to go just a little further west.

  • Maybe walk into the Pacific and keep going.

  • Destiny calls, bro-ham.

  • All right. Stay safe. Stay home. Stay gold.

  • Manamana.

-I've known my brother Josh all his life, but it wasn't

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B1 LateNightwithSethMeyers california devin governor gavin josh

Seth’s Brother Josh Meyers as Gov. Gavin Newsom Updating California on the Coronavirus

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/05/08
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