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  • - Roger Goodell's still getting booed virtually.

  • Can we just Burrow already, can we start the draft?

  • We drafted him, baby, let's go!

  • Last season was worth it!

  • Chase Young, just put it in.

  • It's a new era!

  • Chase Young is on the phone?

  • He didn't seem that excited, though, when we drafted him.

  • Let's go, we just got the best player in the draft!

  • He played basketball with Markelle Fultz?

  • Jeff Okudah, no Darius Slay, no problem!

  • Why is Gettleman wearing a mask in a room by himself?

  • We better be takin' Isaiah Simmons!

  • Andrew Thomas?

  • The draft is stacked at tackle, why would we do that?

  • We took Tua, let's go!

  • Tank for Tua worked!

  • Thought we were gonna do somethin' stupid!

  • It's Tua season!

  • I don't care about his injuries!

  • All of the reports came back clean.

  • We shoulda picked up Simmons at six.

  • Herbert woulda still been there.

  • Derrick Brown, why did we pass on Simmons?

  • Isaiah Simmons?

  • I can't believe he fell that far!

  • Thank you, Panthers!

  • He can literally play any position on the field.

  • He ran a 4.39 40?

  • Whoo!

  • C.J. Henderson, finally a cornerback I can root for!

  • Look at Kliff Kingsbury's house!

  • I need to get on his level!

  • We love takin' players from the state of Florida.

  • Jedrick Willis?

  • We gotta give Baker Mayfield some time.

  • We'll probably move him to left tackle.

  • Mekhi Becton, offensive tackle?

  • We coulda had any receiver we wanted!

  • I guess that doesn't matter if Sam Darnold

  • doesn't have time to throw.

  • Henry Ruggs?

  • Please keep fallin', CeeDee Lamb!

  • That's such a Raiders pick, Al Davis would be proud.

  • We traded our pick?

  • Is he wearing an Old Spice robe?

  • Why would we trade up one pick?

  • It's gotta be Tristan Wirfs.

  • We traded one pick down?

  • Tristan Wirfs, I called it!

  • Protect Brady at all costs!

  • He jumped out of a pool at 325 pounds?

  • I can't even do that!

  • We got Javon Kinlaw?

  • We basically just replaced DeForest Buckner with him.

  • Did you see his dad's reaction?

  • Priceless.

  • How did we get Jerry Jeudy?

  • We got the best receiver in the draft!

  • I know Drew Lock is hype!

  • We're gonna get CeeDee Lamb!

  • Trade up with the Falcons!

  • Why is Offset on here?

  • He was strugglin' with those cue cards!

  • How is CeeDee Lamb still on the board?

  • A.J. Terrell?

  • We coulda got him in the second round.

  • We shoulda traded back!

  • Look at that setup Jerry Jones has!

  • I wanna go on a yacht!

  • I cannot believe CeeDee Lamb fell this far!

  • We better take him!

  • Come on, Jerry Jones, just take him!

  • Don't let this be Randy Moss 2.0!

  • Why is Jerry smiling so much?

  • We got CeeDee Lamb! (screaming)

  • Come on!

  • (screaming)

  • How are you gonna stop us?

  • Amari Cooper, Michael Gallup, CeeDee Lamb!

  • Don't get me started 'bout Zeke!

  • What are we doing?

  • How'd we let the Cowboys get CeeDee Lamb?

  • Cowboys just got the best receiver in the draft!

  • (cackling) Eagles fans!

  • Austin Jackson?

  • Someone's gotta protect Tua!

  • Who is Damon Arnette?

  • K'Lavon Chaisson, that's a great pickup!

  • He's got the best name in the draft.

  • He can play all over the field!

  • I hate not havin' a first-round pick!

  • At this point I'm used to not having a first-round pick.

  • Minkah Fitzpatrick is worth it.

  • Stefon Diggs is better than any receiver in the draft.

  • Name one receiver better than Stefon Diggs, you can't.

  • We're on the clock.

  • Justin Jefferson's still there, everything's fine.

  • Who the heck is Jalen Reagor?

  • Thank you, Eagles, for passin' on Justin Jefferson!

  • I miss Stefon, but in retrospect this is a great trade!

  • It's not an NFL draft unless we trade back.

  • It's like tradition at this point.

  • What, we traded up to get a linebacker?

  • Kenneth Murray?

  • Our defense is loaded.

  • I'm more comfortable now taking Herbert at six.

  • Cesar Ruiz, center, okay!

  • That's a sad story about his dad.

  • Why does ESPN keep tellin' us all these terrible stories?

  • Let us be happy!

  • Do we still have a 31st pick?

  • We traded the 31st pick?

  • Brandon Aiyuk, is he good?

  • I trust John Lynch.

  • He has the longest wingspan of a six-foot player?

  • One inch shorter than Megatron, okay!

  • We traded up?

  • Who are we getting, Jordan Love?

  • We really traded up to draft a quarterback?

  • Aw nah, I'm done!

  • Can he play receiver, can he play cornerback?

  • I wouldn't even be mad if Aaron Rodgers wanted a trade.

  • What are we doing?

  • We actually didn't trade our pick, is this real?

  • Who is Jordyn Brooks?

  • We took this guy over Patrick Queen?

  • Maybe we should keep tradin' our first-round pick.

  • That's fine, we're just gonna draft

  • a Hall-of-Famer in the sixth round.

  • Patrick Queen, inside linebacker?

  • Let's go!

  • Shout out to the Seahawks for not taking him.

  • We just got a stud.

  • I remember him in the national championship game.

  • Is that Mike Vrabel's son?

  • What is he wearing, is that a SuperSuit?

  • Guard Isaiah Wilson, this man is huge!

  • Good luck trying to stop Derrick Henry now!

  • Noah Igbinoghene?

  • Igbonah, Igan, Igbin, Igbinagobne.

  • Why did we draft him when we just signed Byron Jones?

  • Jeff Gladney, I gotta read up on him.

  • Clyde Edwards-Helaire?

  • He's only five eight?

  • Great scheme fit, good luck stopping our offense!

  • We got Tee Higgins, too?

  • He shoulda been gone in the first round!

  • It's game over!

  • Might be some bandwagon Bengals fans out here!

  • Michael Pittman is a first-round talent.

  • What a steal!

  • It's gonna open up so much things for T.Y. Hilton!

  • Kyle Dugger?

  • He's a Division II prospect?

  • I trust the front office!

  • Did you see Belichick's dog?

  • That's Nike, it's proof he's human.

  • Ross Blacklock, defensive tackle.

  • His dad was a Harlem Globetrotter?

  • Can we trade for DeAndre Hopkins back?

  • Cole Kmet, tight end?

  • Why did we sign Jimmy Graham if we're

  • gonna draft another tight end?

  • Grant Delpit?

  • We got the Thorpe Award winner in the second round!

  • Trevon Diggs?

  • How was he still there day two?

  • He's Stefon Diggs' brother?

  • Do we play Minnesota this year?

  • Cam Akers, that's a great pickup.

  • Hopefully he's everything we wanted Todd Gurley to be.

  • I just hope Cam Akers can stay injury-free.

  • Jalen Hurts?

  • (dramatic music)

  • Nah, I'm not watchin' anymore.

  • Fire Howie, fire Howie right now!

  • The heck we over here draftin' quarterbacks?

  • We have Carson Wentz, we just signed Carzon Wentz!

  • In the second round?

  • What is EDP saying?

  • What are the Eagles doing?

  • (screaming)

  • A.J. Epenesa at 54 is a steal!

  • We got J.K. Dobbins?

  • Our offense is about to be unstoppable!

  • I feel bad for every defense who has to go up against us.

  • Are we gonna trade for Trent Williams

  • or are we not gonna trade for him?

  • We just drafted Ezra Cleveland so we're probably

  • not trading for Trent Williams.

  • How many tight ends do we need?

  • How many picks do the Ravens have?

  • Replace one Wisconsin center with another, I like it.

  • We traded for Marquise Goodwin?

  • We barely gave up anything!

  • Why are we getting all these tight ends?

  • I guess we're not getting O.J. Howard anymore.

  • It wasn't as bad as it seemed initially

  • but we still need to fire Howard.

  • We drafted a kicker before a quarterback?

  • We're tanking, we're tanking for Trevor Lawrence.

  • Goodell is struggling right now, is he tipsy?

  • We had the best draft!

  • Jerry needs to draft from his yacht every year!

  • I hope we have a season this year!

  • How many receivers are we gonna draft?

  • (sighs)

  • I'm a grown man.

  • (soothing music) Ladies and gentlemen

  • of Scootopia, I welcome you all.

  • Not only can you count on me as the double-R,

  • but you can count on me as your friend.

  • As your leader!

  • I will be there for each and every one of you

  • to meet your needs, your desires.

  • They will all come to fruition

  • in Scootopia.

  • You see CeeDee's girlfriend trying to take his phone?

  • Madden better put his awareness at 99,

  • that's all I know.

  • Y'all picked Jalen Hurts in the second.

  • Hello? (screams)

- Roger Goodell's still getting booed virtually.

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