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  • - Hi there, I'm Shayne Topp

  • and this is the Gosh Darm (beep) News.

  • - [Damien Voiceover] Today, is charity bad?

  • - I am challenging the form that is nude photography.

  • - [Damien Voiceover] What did David Dobrik do now?

  • - This eye is worth like $10,000.

  • - [Damien Voiceover] Will these images curse you?

  • Is the new "Trolls" movie inappropriate for children?

  • - Oh so much violence.

  • - [Damien Voiceover] And finally, some uplifting news.

  • - I say, no thank you!

  • - [Damien Voiceover] Live from three days ago,

  • it's Shayne Topp.

  • - James Charles has a beauty competition show

  • called "Instant Influencer"

  • that just began airing on YouTube.

  • I haven't watched it yet

  • but I can only assume that

  • the first two minutes are about makeup

  • and the final 43 minutes are about starting drama

  • and selling overpriced products to kids.

  • Here to comment is a guy who didn't lock the bathroom door.

  • (Ian screams)

  • "Sonny with a Chance" had an online reunion

  • with the original cast

  • and four other random white people.

  • "So Random!" people, they were there, okay?

  • You can pretend that we weren't, but we were there

  • and we meant something.

  • It's a party get down man.

  • (sighs)

  • It was a good show!

  • It's a good--

  • David Dobrik made an incredible charity video

  • where he drove around handing out

  • PS4's, laptops, iPads, and so much more to fans in need.

  • And best of all he used a t-shirt cannon

  • to fire t-shirts filled with money at them.

  • It was really great and to talk about it

  • is one of the fans who David Dobrik helped.

  • - Yo, thanks for having me.

  • I was just like looking at flowers

  • minding my business, I love nature,

  • when out of nowhere David Dobrik came up

  • and shot me with a t-shirt cannon.

  • - Oh my god, it looks like he got you right in the eye.

  • - Oh yeah, he knocked this (beep) right outta the socket.

  • - I'm so sorry man, that sounds awful.

  • - No I actaully got $10,000 out of it too.

  • He had check in the t-shirt.

  • This eye is worth like $10,000. (laughs)

  • - I guess you still have another eye, so that's fine.

  • - Well I'm glad he didn't hit me in this one

  • 'cause this is my glass eye

  • and this one's expensive.

  • - How'd you lose that eye?

  • - Oh, the t-shirt canon at a Mets game.

  • - So you are legally blind?

  • - Legally blind.

  • - So you're not mad at David at all?

  • - David I just wanna say man,

  • if you're seeing this right now I love you,

  • I don't know what I'm looking at

  • right now I can't really see,

  • but I just wanna say I love you

  • and you are great you've been a big inspiration to me

  • and everybody else in America,

  • thanks for the $10,000

  • and if you wanna give me some more money

  • and knock me out here and there,

  • do some things to me, it's fine.

  • - Thank you so much.

  • - Thank you, David I love you man.

  • Peace and blessings.

  • - MrBeast held a rock, paper, scissors contest for charity

  • and invited all the best, most popular,

  • sexiest, trendiest YouTubers.

  • Which is why we weren't there

  • because there's really not a positive adjective

  • you can put in front of us.

  • Old, tired.

  • None of those are good,

  • I'm trying to think of a positive one.

  • Um, gross?

  • Inappropriate.

  • We did also make a video kinda making fun of,

  • yeah I get it, I get why he wouldn't invite us,

  • I get it, it's our bad.

  • Travis Scott held a massive concert in Fortnite

  • so if you're wondering why your eight year old son

  • suddenly wants to (beep) Kylie Jenner, that's why.

  • Ansel Elgort posted a nude on his Instagram for charity,

  • here to talk about it is our local nude expert,

  • influencer and YouTuber, Briana Boho.

  • - Thank you Shayne power top,

  • so actually this was a very deceitful act

  • to use a nude photograph for.

  • It completely cheapens nudes

  • and the entire art platform

  • as well as the very sensitive nude market.

  • I mean, also, nudes are for letting people know

  • you wanna (beep) them, not devaluing these titties.

  • - Even though he was doing it for charity,

  • it was a bad thing?

  • - Look at me, I mean OnlyFans can only provide so much.

  • - You're saying nudes are just to let someone know

  • you wanna (beep) them but you have an OnlyFans?

  • - Mm hm but that's different.

  • See my OnlyFans subscribers are supporting me

  • because they believe in me

  • and then I reward them with nude photos

  • as well as videos of me eating popsicles of my ass.

  • - Of your ass?

  • - Of my ass with my ass.

  • See there's a popsicle that's made from a mold of my ass

  • that I then eat with my ass.

  • Because like when you have a mold of your ass

  • you wanna get like the most use out of it

  • that you can, you know?

  • - Sure--

  • - Yeah, you're welcome Shayne power top.

  • Also, ass popsicles are a wonderful summer treat

  • and they're on sale right now on my OnlyFans.

  • I think you're a subscriber aren't you, Shayne?

  • - No, I'm not.

  • - Your username is "short king long stinger"?

  • - No, that is not me at all.

  • - Are you sure?

  • (beep)

  • - Now we go over to our travel corespondent,

  • Olivia Sui, with our city of the day.

  • (upbeat music)

  • What's the city? ♪

  • It's a city. ♪

  • City of the day. ♪

  • Where's the city? ♪

  • Who's the city? ♪

  • City of the day. ♪

  • Are you a city? ♪

  • ♪ I'm not a city. ♪

  • City of the day. ♪

  • City of the day. ♪

  • - Macomb, Illinois.

  • City of the day. ♪

  • - If you'd like to submit your city

  • to be our city of the day, don't.

  • We're not gonna read our emails.

  • We're not gonna listen to anyone.

  • We will pick whatever city we want.

  • It might be the same city next week, we don't care.

  • It may not even be a city.

  • Might be a mineral

  • or a type of animal.

  • We don't care.

  • We really don't care.

  • (air whooshing)

  • Now it's time to go over to our entertainment corespondent,

  • Damien, with "What's Streaming".

  • Damien.

  • - Hi Shayne, yes let's talk about what's streaming.

  • Can't wait. - Yeah.

  • Yeah you watched "Trolls World Tour"

  • this past week right? - "Trolls World Tour" is what

  • I watched, I sure did.

  • - At least you're supposed to watch it,

  • you did watch it right?

  • - Shayne, I watched the movie.

  • - Can you tell us about it?

  • - Yes!

  • "Trolls World Tour" 2020, musical animation.

  • We got Poppy and Branch discover

  • that there are six different troll tribes.

  • - Did you just Google it?

  • - No, no I didn't do that.

  • I know, this is all from the old noggin.

  • That's it, they discover there's six different troll tribes.

  • - That's it?

  • That's the whole movie?

  • - Well it's not the whole movie.

  • It starts in the Shire.

  • - That's not the plot of "Lord of the Rings"?

  • - (laughs) Shayne, it's very much not.

  • - If you didn't watch the movie it's fine.

  • I mean just-- - I watched the movie.

  • - All right fine if you watched the movie then great,

  • so clearly the six different troll tribes

  • represent six different genres of music,

  • can you tell us about those genres?

  • - No no no, the genres of music,

  • that's the metaphor Shayne.

  • It's the six different aspects of the human ego.

  • You've got wrath, sloth, gluttony,

  • classical music, techno music, and then rock.

  • But you're not even thinking about

  • how deep this movie goes man.

  • You're supposed to be rooting for these characters

  • but there's so much violence.

  • There's so much cussing. - There's violence?

  • - Oh so much violence.

  • - Oh my god.

  • - Yeah.

  • - 'Cause this movie's rated PG right?

  • - Don't know how they got away with that.

  • - So parents should not take their children to go see this?

  • - No, no, it's like they curse so much,

  • you know how Smurfs say Smurf all the time,

  • it's like that but with (beep).

  • And so they're always just saying (beep)

  • so there's this like, there's this bit

  • where like a goblin is surrendering and they're like,

  • "We're sorry, we should find a middle ground."

  • And they just grab him by the back of the head

  • and go (gobbles) and just drown him in a puddle.

  • And as he's like kicking and just twitching

  • they just keep whispering, "(beep), (beep),"

  • into the back of his head.

  • It's real dark.

  • - Damien you definitely didn't watch this movie did you?

  • - I didn't watch the film Shayne.

  • - All right, that has been Damien with "What's Streaming."

  • (air whooshing)

  • And now it's time for my least favorite segment,

  • "Cursed Images" with Courtney.

  • Courtney.

  • - Hey what's up guys, I'm Courtney.

  • I'm pretty sure I've seen every cursed image.

  • I love cursed images.

  • Shayne are you ready?

  • - Uh, no but go ahead.

  • - There you go bud.

  • - Ugh, so okay there's a lot going on.

  • - Yeah I like this one because there's a story.

  • - Yeah so it's clearly one of their birthdays,

  • I'm guessing it's red. - Is it?

  • - I'm guessing it's red Teletubby's birthday.

  • - See to me, I for some reason get wedding vibes.

  • - Oh, cause they're,

  • yeah they're definitely kissing.

  • - It's like what is the emotion that is,

  • this cursed image is bringing outta you?

  • Because for me--

  • - I just feel gross.

  • I feel really gross. - What?

  • Tag yourself, I'm definitely the angel in the back

  • just loving everything or I'm the cake.

  • - I'm the guy on the purple Teletubby's shoulder.

  • - (laughs) Just not wanting to be there.

  • - Just peaking through.

  • - Monica earlier was trying to read the cake,

  • which is down near impossible.

  • - Yeah I don't wanna read what's written on that.

  • I'm sure it's some sort of curse

  • that if you read it a ghost will follow you home

  • and kill you in your sleep.

  • - I think the thing that's shines

  • most brightly in this photo is the open mouth kiss

  • that's about to ensue.

  • - I think it's ensuing, I think it's full on ensuing.

  • - I think it's like,

  • this is just like a beautiful moment

  • where they're about to suck face.

  • Like it hasn't happened yet.

  • - Clearly the yellow Teletubby already did that

  • because someone licked off most of his makeup.

  • - But you know, that's the beauty of a cursed image bud.

  • It's just chaos. - Yeah.

  • - Blessed chaos just like (blows kiss).

  • Anyway, thank you so much for this time.

  • I really hope you enjoyed my cursed images of the week.

  • I will have gold for you every week, I promise.

  • Thank you for giving me this segment Shayne,

  • I won't let you down.

  • - Well, thanks Courtney.

  • (air whooshing)

  • And finally, we go over to our own Ian Hecox,

  • who's gonna give us some good news and some bad news,

  • in a segment we call "Good News, Bad News".

  • - Thanks James.

  • In Arkansas, there is a steak house,

  • it's family owned restaurant, steak house,

  • and somebody donated their entire $1200 stimulus check

  • as a tip to the workers there.

  • - Oh that sounds like great news!

  • - No.

  • This is a steak house.

  • A steak house!

  • It is a house made of steaks, okay.

  • How disgusting is that?

  • And this person wants to keep a business like that open?

  • I say no thank you!

  • Okay?

  • - I think you may be misunderstanding steak houses.

  • I don't think they're--

  • - How am I misunderstanding steak house?

  • - There's no houses that are built out of steaks.

  • - I don't even know if they grill the steaks

  • before they make the house out of it.

  • - I think now we're ready for some good news.

  • - All right so,

  • in Germany there's a place in Northern Germany,

  • it's a zoo and what has happened is

  • that they're running out of money

  • because nobody can go to the zoo now

  • for reasons that are obvious.

  • And they're saying that they might have to resort

  • to feeding the animals in the zoo

  • to the other animals in order to keep them alive.

  • - What?

  • Dude that's awful.

  • - Here's a money making proposition for that zoo.

  • Animals shouldn't be in cages, right?

  • - Right.

  • - Unless you put animals in a cage with another animal.

  • You following me here?

  • What about pygmy marmoset v king cobra?

  • Who would win?

  • But you don't know.

  • So rather than just straight up being like

  • here you go polar bear here's a kangaroo,

  • let 'em fight it out.

  • And then the winner gets to eat the loser.

  • - How would a kangaroo beat a polar bear?

  • - Kangaroo verse monkey.

  • Fish verse dolphin.

  • Human verse ant.

  • I wanna see every match-up.

  • I will pay for that

  • and that'll keep the zoo running for years

  • until they run out of animals.

  • - Okay so to recap,

  • you're saying bad news

  • that someone was tipped a lot of money

  • because they work in a house made of steak

  • and it's good news that zoos

  • are turning into animal gladiator arenas?

  • - Yeah, what are you not getting here?

  • - Well, that was the "Gosh Darn (beep) News."

  • I'm Shayne Topp.

  • Go to bed.

  • Go to--

  • - [Damien Voiceover] This has been the

  • "Gosh Darn (beep) News."

  • David Dobrik fans please be nice to us

  • in the comments section.

  • - Thanks for watching.

  • If you wanna watch more stupid, dumb stuff,

  • we've got more videos.

  • We also have clothing that we sell at smosh.store

  • and if you wear it, I promise people will like you more.

  • They'll just sense something different about you.

  • And if you haven't subscribed, please do

  • because we just keep the dumb stuff pumping out.

  • We never stop.

  • We're just like, it's just crazy.

  • We're geniuses.

  • We're idiot geniuses.

- Hi there, I'm Shayne Topp

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