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  • by about about a bump at a bar, but I thought that a Jimmy Kimmel Live, I think the ambulance I again, it's Jimmy checking in from home.

  • My daughter made the opening for me.

  • Case you're wondering if our graphics team is OK.

  • They are.

  • I hope you are OK, too.

  • This is my daily mini log from beautiful downtown Quarantine.

  • Where remember when we used to think we'd never get all the shows on Netflix?

  • Well, now we have.

  • And of course, while we are stuck inside, there's a lot going on outside.

  • The United States and Canada temporarily closed the border to all non essential travel.

  • After CDC released a warning saying that the Corona virus can survive on the surface of a moose for up to nine days, Trump said the move was being done by mutual consent.

  • So finally he's getting consent, and Canada was like, You know what?

  • Honestly, we belonging to close the border with you guys for quite a few years now, so this works out so we are social, distancing ourselves from Canada now, and they from us.

  • Trump, meanwhile, has a catchy little nickname for the growth of ours.

  • He now calls it the Chinese virus Every chance he gets because, you know, they say a great way to prevent a virus from spreading is to name it something racist.

  • We people keep it on the down low.

  • I don't know why he does this.

  • Actually do.

  • Know why does it's to deflect blame away from him.

  • It's like when he started calling Eric and Don Jr the of Ana kids.

  • We are Right now.

  • We are basically living through a disaster movie in which the president is being played by Gary Beause e.

  • Meanwhile, Steve Cecil Act, the governor of Nevada, took decisive action.

  • He ordered all hotels and casinos in Vegas and other gaming cities in the state to close down for a month.

  • So if you feel the need to gamble on something, lick, adorn up, do not go to Las Vegas.

  • The governor made a powerful speech and the president was jealous, and I don't blame it, really Closing down casinos.

  • That's Donald Trump's thing.

  • The state of Nevada has started a hashtag to encourage people not to go out.

  • Stay home for Nevada, But don't just stay home from Nevada, stay home for yourselves and for everyone.

  • And that message is especially directed at older people, many of whom, I found are not taking this seriously.

  • I don't know about you but some of the people in my own family and you know who you are.

  • If you're watching, think it's OK to go to Pallotti's now because they wipe down the machines or to go to the D.

  • M V this week, which is a disgusting place to go when there's no virus to worry about.

  • And then you yell at them, you gang up on them, but they don't listen, which is going to force us to do something drastic.

  • Something we don't want to do, like taking blue bloods away.

  • You want that to happen?

  • Don't make us take donning Walberg from you because we will stay at home, I guess because we never had anything like this before.

  • Nobody really knows how to handle how to stay.

  • Normal had a kind of schedule yourself, so I thought I'd lay out a kind of a suggested framework for your day First, I think it's important, very important to put on pants at some point for at least two hours a day.

  • You just have to.

  • My wife is actually suggesting a formal Friday where you get all dressed up for dinner.

  • Even if you're alone, maybe we'll do that.

  • Think about that.

  • If you have kids, please don't post pictures of your child's daily schedule.

  • It makes the rest of us who are letting their kids playing the iPad all day feel bad.

  • You can watch up to three movies or five TV shows per day.

  • That's it.

  • Then you have to read or write.

  • Maybe it's a good time to find a pen pal in prison.

  • If you do need time away from your family, the inside of your car, I have found, is a great place to scream.

  • And finally make sure to check in on your loved ones daily virtually, which is something that I am going to do right now.

  • So let me see.

  • I gotta figure out how to do this.

  • Okay, here we go.

  • Okay.

  • Give me how you doing?

  • Can you hear me?

  • Don't you mean what are you eating with it?

  • What?

  • What is that?

  • Up up all moans peanuts and and I'm nuts.

  • You got it from Costco?

  • Yeah, I got them from Costco.

  • What?

  • Did you go to Costco?

  • I went to Costco last week.

  • It was crazy.

  • And you already ate all those nuts, huh?

  • Yeah, I have been on for, like, four or five days.

  • You're like a stir kissed elephant.

  • What you've been doing the past the time, Guillermo.

  • Well, Jimmy, early in the morning, I go, What?

  • My talks That I go for a walk to the park.

  • You do by yourself?

  • Yeah.

  • I just want my cell.

  • Yeah, it's boring.

  • You know, I go to 7 11 and get get the newspaper and get my coffee, you know, And then come back real quick.

  • And you know what?

  • You're not supposed to be going to 7 11 I know, but I just go real quick.

  • And I, uh I watched my hands and everything.

  • A kick, mo, we've your national treasure.

  • We have to keep you safe.

  • I know.

  • Yeah, yeah, but you know, like I have all sanitizer in my car.

  • And then I come in and out when I go out and I come back home, we'll take a shower room quick.

  • You do?

  • Okay.

  • Have you been drinking?

  • Get all No, no, no drinking.

  • Let's go see what I'm drinking.

  • That work was your last night drinking?

  • No.

  • Last Thursday.

  • Right at work?

  • Yeah, I work.

  • It was my last year.

  • My nasty.

  • That's one of the things I love about Normally does not drink it all.

  • Only at work, No, only drink of work.

  • You know, it is crazy, and it's funny.

  • It is unbelievable, but yeah, only work.

  • I only drink money to thirsty.

  • Will you do me a favor?

  • I want to see what you're up to when you go to 7 11 So next time you go havoc in your camera rolling and just I want to see the whole thing.

  • Okay?

  • I want to make sure you're being safe.

  • Okay.

  • All right.

  • I'm okay.

  • And then we'll check back in with you, okay?

  • All right.

  • No problem.

  • Give me How's the family?

  • Benji's good.

  • Big is good, Reggie.

  • Oh, he's having the best time of his life.

  • Is he?

  • Yeah, Well, Monday he wake up on 11.

  • 20 yesterday.

  • Work up like 11.

  • 45 megawatt.

  • 10.

  • You wake up today?

  • Well, it's Yeah, like crazy.

  • So I have about the morning free to go for a walk with the dogs.

  • And, you know, I said, All right.

  • Well, Guillermo, you know, every day I'm going to be making a donation to a worthwhile cause.

  • And today I will be donating hope that people join me and donating to the American Red Cross.

  • Okay.

  • All right.

  • We're always there for us.

  • We must be there to support them.

  • So I'm putting that.

  • We're putting that up on the screen right there, there.

  • And Ah, I hope that you donate to the Red Cross.

  • Hope that you stay safe.

  • Don't do what Guillermo does.

  • Don't go to 7 11 I can't believe I'm gonna call you back in yellow.

  • You after this.

  • But thanks for watching.

  • We'll be back with another mini log tomorrow.

  • Sig, abide everybody, Guillermo.

  • Goodbye, Everybody.

  • Stay safe.

by about about a bump at a bar, but I thought that a Jimmy Kimmel Live, I think the ambulance I again, it's Jimmy checking in from home.

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Jimmy Kimmel’s Quarantine Minilogue – Staying Normal, Guillermo’s Snacks & Trump’s “Chinese Virus”

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/04/28
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