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  • Hey, it's marie forleo and welcome to the marie forleo podcast today

  • We are talking with one of the most creative accomplished producers in the world

  • Sherry salata, and we're talking about her new book the beautiful

  • No, now if you don't already know sherry you are in for such a treat. Here's her bio

  • sherry salata is a writer producer and co-founder of the pillar life.com and

  • Co-host of the podcast the sherry and Nancy show her current ventures are the evolution of her 20 year career with Oprah Winfrey

  • Her action-packed days is an executive producer of The Oprah Winfrey Show were chronicled in the acclaimed docu-series

  • season 25 Oprah

  • Behind-the-scenes sherry has also served as co-president of Harpo Studios and own the Oprah Winfrey Network

  • She's been named one of Fast Company's 100 most creative people in business The Hollywood Reporter's women in entertainment power

  • 100 and the 2017 feminist press power Award winners sherry is a proud iowa hawk-i living happily ever

  • after in a magical town in Northern, California

  • Sherry salata, thank you so much for being on the marie forleo podcast woman

  • Marie I feel like this is the reunion of all reunions

  • Yeah, this this conversation has been a long time coming. I love and admire you so much

  • I have this memory of us. It was years ago

  • It was I believe at the right after the belief premiere and you were the one to ask me like Marie

  • Are you available on April 9th 2016 and I was like, I don't know but pretty much. Yes

  • sherry

  • Anything Sherry's asking me I'm gonna say yes to and I just I have this memory

  • without your super self session it was and you

  • Smile on your face and the warmth with which you invited me onto that stage. Like I will just never forget

  • How you've always treated me and I have so much love and respect for you. So I just wanted to say that to you and

  • Congratulations on this beautiful book the beautiful no and other tales of trial transcend this and transformation

  • I know I texted this to you, but you are such a killer writer and your storytelling ability. Oh my goodness

  • I'm so excited for folks to get their hands on this

  • Take me behind the inspiration behind this book. What's the why why this book? Why now?

  • Yeah, I mean

  • I think maybe my wise a little bit clearer now at the very beginning it was it was a creative venture

  • I had met a woman who?

  • launched an imprint with her per Collins who's my publisher and editor and she's in the middle of her life and she is

  • Like when I look at her life I go. Yeah, that's pretty cool

  • I she like started surfing at 40

  • so we kind of got each other and she felt like I had

  • This point of view and this perspective to share and then Marie off I went

  • For two years and and let nobody tell you that writing a book is easy

  • I mean, you know that the first year totally sucked and and I really I woke up, you know acro

  • There was a Christmas Eve over just over a year ago. When as I went to bed

  • I'm like I'm giving them their money back take your advanced back. I'm not doing this. Oh I'd who needs this?

  • This is way too hard. I don't really know exactly what I want to say. And then I woke up on Christmas morning

  • So this is this is a spiritual story

  • Christmas morning I wake up and I almost feel like it was my mom coming to me from the other side

  • he said do you know how many people would love a bona fide contract with a really good publisher and the

  • Opportunity to put words on paper and have people read them and I'm like, yes

  • There's many people and then I realized wow

  • What an amazing opportunity and if I so choose?

  • This can be a cathartic

  • Beautiful experience and and then all of a sudden it was so I had a great year writing it

  • Can I tell you how relieved I am to hear you say this because I believe people about my journey writing

  • Everything is figure out able which is not my first book, right the first book

  • I wrote was years and years and years ago

  • And I was so young and naive that I didn't know any better to be stressed, right?

  • I just sat down and did it by the way PS Josh reminded me. Oh, no, you stressed out over that one, too

  • You just forgot that you did. This one is different

  • But I want to say this to you sherry because I think it's important. You know, you are a

  • Brilliant writer and producer and you've been crafting stories for well over two decades and I consider myself

  • A pretty good person at what I do and I've been doing that his company writing these emails writing all the web coffee

  • You know creating programs being a teacher for almost two decades

  • And so I had this assumption I was like, well, I write all the time. It's gonna be a fairly easy process

  • I'm and meanwhile, I got my ass kicked right left and center by this book same thing

  • I had that thought I was like

  • You know do I really need to do this? And even though I didn't go very far down this thought train I

  • Absolutely considered I was like what would happen if I gave my advance back in just that whatever

  • The Oprah Talk, that's enough

  • But I want to say this for anyone listening who might be in the throes of writing struggling right now

  • You're hearing from two women who are accomplished at what they do and they found themselves thrashing around. Yeah

  • We you know, the best advice is keep going push through it. Just keep writing. Yeah

  • Yeah, eventually you do make it through that, huh?

  • So one of the things I love that you shared you said I had a dream come true career

  • But not a dream come true life. Can you tell us more about that Oh Marie. Oh my gosh

  • Well, that was my that was my really big Epiphany

  • So until until I had a moment until you know

  • The the first days after my Oprah career and I could I could kind of quiet myself for a minute and be like, whoa

  • It's like getting off of a speeding speeding train. That's you know, circled the globe

  • You know a million times and and and just say, okay, let's take a look at what we've created here

  • And that's when I had that that epiphany

  • That I had

  • Manifested a dream come true career, which believe me I wanted

  • I mean I didn't start with over till I was 35 years old

  • So I wanted a dream come true career and I had fully manifested that like what one of the most dreamy careers ever

  • But I had not manifested a dream come true

  • so there I am at 56 years old and

  • It's my life is completely lopsided

  • You know, I have all this achievement and all this accomplishment by you know

  • Cultural standards and my life itself, though

  • It's like all my little dreams are dried-up stuffed into drawers

  • and and virtually unlived and

  • Honestly Murray the only way I could take

  • a

  • sober

  • Truthful look at it was to find my tenderest. Most compassionate

  • Lens and my tenderest most compassionate voice and say okay girl. Let's go through it. How

  • have you done here and

  • Let's figure out what you really want

  • That's one of the things I find in my own work that can be one of the most challenging hurdles to overcome

  • For all of us is being able to identify and articulate

  • clearly what it is that we really want and

  • I love that he who found yourself in this space right after this mega career

  • And and let me I wanted to ask you this

  • Did you know?

  • Like I feel like sometimes in our lives when a big change is coming

  • We almost feel it like it's in the distance. You know what I mean?

  • We know it's coming, but it might not be ready yet

  • And I'm curious if you sensed, you know, you might have been so busy that you didn't feel or you didn't sense it coming

  • In terms of you know moving on to a next chapter

  • did you feel this big change in your life coming or was it one day that you woke up and sometimes your life just feels

  • Rearranged you're like I need to make a change. This is time for me to move on

  • yeah, I mean I absolutely could feel that a change was going to come I

  • Think about the conversations I I'd have with one of my BFFs Nance in my back yard

  • Like on our second and third bottle of Chardonnay

  • and and it was dreamy like it was like oh

  • Can you imagine if we started our own company and can you imagine and what would it look like?

  • And what would we do would we do storytelling would it be a media company?

  • We would do branding work and also Marie quite frankly. One of the things that was getting me. All riled up was

  • meeting you and Chris Carr and others like you who are

  • megawatt entrepreneurs, you know, like of course Oprah is an entrepreneur and but you know,

  • She you know to me that felt like lightning in a bottle

  • And then all of a sudden I meet you and I'm like well, she's running an empire

  • Wow, okay, and it's her own empire and

  • you know, I was just starting to get this this little bit of a feeling like

  • Of

  • Incompletion and that and that's still unconscious about you know

  • My might how what state my health was in what state my love life was in all the things that were

  • That were had really been not been tended to but yeah

  • I was starting to like some dreams were starting to bubble bubble up for sure. Yes. Yes. Yes

  • Yes

  • And I think that that's so important for all of us to hear and to recognize because all of us go through so many stages

  • in our life where we maybe start to feel or sense a change coming on and

  • That's scary

  • It's very scary because we get in these patterns and we have these habits in these ways of being and of course

  • You know with a career which for most of us is the largest part of our lives

  • It's where we spend the most time day in and day out to make a major change like that

  • It can feel really intimidating

  • And sometimes you almost don't want to hear that a change is coming some time share when I'm feeling questions for marietv

  • you know, it's really a

  • common

  • place to

  • Feel at a crossroads and to go my goodness even for someone who's built their own business

  • Sometimes they say I don't think I want this one anymore. I think I'm ready for something else

  • And what does that mean about me?

  • So that's why I think there's so much value in your story and there's so much value in the book that you've wonderfully put together

  • because what you're showing us is a path ahead of hope and of creativity and an adventure and of

  • What we might encounter when we start to listen to those whispers of our heart, right?

  • So one of the things I love too that you wrote in the beginning was just about how our culture

  • Looks at women once they get past 50, right right, even from a business perspective the business lense of advertisers

  • It's like wow, we don't really give an F about any woman, you know once she gets past fifty five

  • I forget you probably know the demo better than I do. But yeah

  • It's 254 and yeah, like 25 to 54

  • Is is the big sweet spot?

  • I just Marie honestly

  • I'm just gonna tell you that whether I have no data to support this but really big

  • Juicy leading and edge brands are going to toss that out the window

  • It's gonna be a psychographic

  • It's gonna be like, these are the attributes of the people we're gonna advertise to as opposed to their age

  • I'm just sure of it because it's so frickin archaic as

  • The problem is for the people in in my group in. You know, I I

  • dubbed it Nancy and I call it the middle of life because we like that better and

  • Because it's kind of like, whoa, you still have a whole nother half to create

  • Yes, but super important to even if you're even if you're super

  • If you're well-read and you're well-educated and you feel like you're you know your own mind

  • it's really important to make sure that

  • you discover which cultural messages have landed in your bones that you're not aware of and

  • by that I mean, are you willing to see yourself at forty and fifty as

  • Just about in the middle and what else you gonna do?

  • We've all met the person who like had their glory days in high school or their four days in college and it's like it's over

  • It's all downhill from there, but it's ours to design. It's ours to design

  • So even someone like me who had whoa, you know these these twenty years of working for Oprah

  • I would like to think that those were the beginning of my glory days and and the

  • Real glory days are yet to be created?

  • Yes

  • That is where it's at and I will tell you as the years go by for me

  • I still have this inner sense Cheri that I am just getting started

  • Like that's how it feels for me and it feels that way year after year

  • And of course to my logical mind that doesn't make sense, but to my soul it really does

  • So this is something else I loved about

  • Your book so going back in time

  • I don't know if people realize this you mentioned it earlier, but I want to highlight it again

  • You didn't start at Harpo until you were 35 like you had an adventure after an adventure you were in Texas for a while you

  • Were trying all kinds of jobs

  • And the reason I want to bring this up

  • First is because so many times people put so much pressure on themselves

  • Like if they're not making that 30 under 30 list

  • right

  • If they don't have it all figured out if they don't have the big bank account or the notoriety or the clarity on their career

  • By the time they're 30. They think they're somehow behind I'm like, that's so not true all of us find our way

  • We're on earth such a unique path in our unique timelines and we have all of these transitions in our life

  • Nosed wondering if you can tell us a little bit about

  • Your early days and Oh Murray, I think before the heart boat

  • You're exquisitely insightful there and I gotta tell you I would have made no 30 under 30 list of any kind

  • not

  • Except that, you know, there was the person who's effed up, you know the most and yeah

  • I mean it was it was a sad state of affairs

  • I had to sense to my name and at one point I was living in my parents basement as

  • They they were upstairs terrified that I was never gonna make anything of myself

  • Yes, and and I I do I write about the adventure I graduated from the University of Iowa

  • I ended up at Texas only job I could get was typing in a typing pool

  • Then I got promoted to a bigger typist. Then I was gonna go to law school

  • my dad said I could go at night and I was like, we'll forget that and

  • You know next thing, you know

  • I was managing a toy store and then my stint at

  • 7-eleven mice math wit my smock wearing months training as a 7-eleven store manager

  • delivering a baby in a parking lot

  • and then finally realizing that

  • I'm just barking up all the wrong trees and at 27 packed up

  • you know went went home and and went moved into mom and dad's basement and

  • Really was thinking like you my again maybe dreams. Maybe I don't have the promise that I thought I did and

  • So you are absolutely right. We're all on our own timeline and anything can happen

  • but

  • Go ahead

  • No

  • I was just gonna ask you because I thought it was so interesting like once you made it back home and you're with your

  • Parents. I'm curious if you can tell us more about how that

  • advertising job came in because when I was tracing back through your history unlike

  • People who write ad copy people who understand advertising right? Like there was some magic in there

  • I was like, yeah how it all started coming together

  • Well, this is this is you never know who your angels are and the co-operative components

  • The universe is lining up to lead you on the path to your dreams

  • So basically all the only skills I had were retail skills, and I had decided I didn't

  • retail wasn't my dream and

  • my best friend's

  • Fiancee who I'd met maybe once or twice over the years because I lived in another state

  • was the executive producer at a midsize ad agency in Chicago and and he heard about my my my

  • Living in the basement and being out of work and he invited me down to the city for a big fancy lunch

  • You know white tablecloth really super fancy. I think I wore something new and there were tags on my suit

  • I mean it was sad sad state of affairs and

  • And and he was you know

  • What happened was in those moments there were some combination of words

  • he said where I literally could see he believed I had a bright future and

  • That I that something really good could happen for me in Chicago

  • And so when he asked me like hey, well, do you know what you want to do?

  • And I'm sure like in the moment

  • He regretted it instantly and I heard the words come out of my mouth. I want to do what you do and

  • he went gulp and he's like, alright, well, you know, let me see and

  • You know I later found out he went back to the agency

  • moved some people around and made spot a spot for me as his secretary because he had called me and said

  • Do you know how to type on my godmother expert typist? Not really and

  • He taught me everything he taught me how to edit. He taught me how to shoot how to produce music how to produce voiceovers

  • You know how to look at something with a discerning visual eye. He was very

  • awesomely talented and

  • He gave me that blessing. That's really the only way I can describe it

  • It was like he he was the universe helping me get ready for a big dream

  • And he blessed me and and I think about I think about you know, wow

  • That changed everything

  • And so let's talk now about the fact that you did apply

  • right for a job at The Oprah Show at the Auto Show and

  • You got declined. Oh, yeah, like just summarily rejected

  • I applied for an entry-level position as a promo producer being in because by now I was a

  • Nap, I was gonna say big time that would be completely deceptive. I was an accomplished and and seasoned

  • advertising

  • commercial producer and so I sent in my reel of commercials and my resume and

  • I got home one day and I was like, oh my god. This is it

  • This is how I'm gonna bring meaning into my life

  • I'm gonna get a job at that show, and there was a message on my machine

  • We had answering machine with tape back then and it was like, I'm sorry. This is so-and-so. I'm sorry

  • you're not what we're looking for and

  • Practically, I understood that because the two disciplines were very very different

  • But oh it was a heartbreak. I mean, I was like shoot. I really thought that was it

  • I thought that was my next move and a

  • while later I was you know in the title story of the book the beautiful know is about I

  • Was broke again. I was look

  • like was I was freelancing which is dialing for dollars in my to my way of thinking and

  • I hated making those calls. Do you have any work for me? Okay. Thanks anyways

  • and

  • I was up for a big staff job at a big huge

  • agency for four at the time lots of money and benefits and stability and security and I really needed the job and

  • I had a spectacular interview my friends and I all

  • celebrated wildly but turns out prematurely and then I get a letter saying we're not hiring and

  • And it was shortly after that where?

  • Another message comes on my answering machine. Hey, this is so-and-so from The Oprah Winfrey Show

  • We were cleaning out an old closet and found your resume and your reel of commercials. Will you come in and freelance?

  • It's a freaking miracle it's a miracle, but you can see how the universe starts lining things up for you and

  • and if you would only that's what I the beautiful know has become one of my most profound spiritual understandings and

  • And I began to say if I could only collapse time and when I get to know be like, okay

  • I can't wait to see how gorgeous this is down the road. I

  • Love it, and thank you so much for telling that story because so many times I feel like

  • Folks will show up on my doorstep virtual or otherwise and just say but what's wrong with me nothing seems to be working out

  • I try and share this with them. I'm like we're looking in the middle of the movie. Yeah, no idea

  • Here's a ready turn out right kind of like if we were sitting there eating popcorn

  • together in that theater and

  • you know all of the characters on the screen like just nothing is going right and you just decided to walk out and then you're

  • Like well, that's how the story ends. It's like no wait, you're missing all of the good stuff. You're right

  • it's the middle of the movie and

  • If you want to get to that fantastic

  • dreamy miraculous conclusion faster

  • It's going to have to be by harnessing your positivity and hope and optimism

  • and

  • expectation in that direction

  • Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I love that and then obviously spent for the next two decades just

  • Creating so much magic for all of us the honor of my life man. It was the honor of my life

  • So I'm fine and I I love in the book. How many stories you tell about that?

  • And obviously the big kind of finale show and just all of the magic you guys pulled off together

  • just so

  • Incredible and those memories and all of the fun and also who you got to become in the process, right?

  • Seeing how powerful you really are and your ability to make shit happen. I mean, come on share

  • You know, well, you know, yes, you know what it takes. And yes, that is very true

  • But I will say hands down

  • No kiddin, the ultimate company benefit for me was getting paid to build a spiritual life

  • That's the truth. That was that was like it was like having a window on

  • You know the quantum field and and getting to hear the language and the theory and the the

  • Ideas from some of the foremost thought leaders of our time and and that just felt like that

  • I like gosh. I'm getting paid. I'm getting paid to take this end really amazing

  • So cool. And obviously you're just a really good storyteller. And I love how you emphasized in the book that

  • Stories have such a power

  • Over all of our lives and sometimes we don't even realize it and the most crucial stories are really the ones that we tell

  • to ourselves

  • You're right

  • When I glanced around at women my age range

  • I can see so clearly how we are each telling ourselves different stories about what's possible for ourselves

  • You know the way we move and through the way we eat and through the way we speak and create, you know

  • Sometimes it's really funny. I love my mom. They hope she's gonna listen to this one

  • Sometimes she doesn't listen as much to the podcast because she's always like what are you wearing this week? She is

  • But sometimes my mom who is

  • God bless her right she's in her early seven days. She'll say Ari, you know what I mean?

  • I don't have much time if I'm like. Are you kidding me? You're gonna be around for awhile

  • and obviously we never know right none of us know how long we're gonna be here but to your point about the stories that we

  • our selves and so what I thought was also so brilliant was the story that you were telling yourself after you're like

  • This is my new chapter

  • I am now ready to take all of that spiritual wisdom all of these brilliant ideas and

  • Put them into practice in a way that I haven't done before. I was like go Cherie

  • This is gonna be awesome. Especially around your self-care right like that was

  • To me. I just loved how bravely and candidly you shared

  • Hey look

  • I have not been the best

  • Steward of my body up until this point and I really want to investigate this on a whole new level

  • Oh, that's for sure. And I mean, you know, that's why in many ways

  • Listen that, you know my story and the stories I tell on this book

  • Yes

  • Rallying cry let's go. Let's let's come on

  • Tribe mates, let's stir up our dreams, but it's also a bit of a cautionary tale

  • I mean I had all the information. I mean I had more information was coming out of my ears

  • but until I

  • decided that I was willing to embrace the practice of consciousness and

  • and and staying conscious and staying present and

  • and

  • not numbing myself or or

  • disconnecting because I thought my feelings it was going to be too hard to feel them or

  • It was going to be too uncomfortable or I just didn't wanna you know, I'd rather eat cheese instead

  • I just don't wanna yeah

  • Yeah, and again, I mean what's important for me to say is it's still a process?

  • You know, I'll have a day when I'm like wow, you are so off track today

  • And now let's take a look at how you're feeling and I'm like, oh my god, I feel awful

  • I feel hopeless

  • despondent

  • It's like, okay

  • So let's put the pieces together there that those little practices that you put into your life those self-care practices

  • Those are the things that create that good feeling that that stir up the hope pots

  • The hope soup pots that kind of get you going to think gosh. What else?

  • one of the places I think you and I share some DNA is our willingness to go all in like I was laughing so

  • Hard at you and I think like Nance like signing up for these tort or some fitness classes, right?

  • You're like mom go it all in baby. Oh my goodness

  • Can I tell you how many times I've done that and like recently?

  • I have been

  • working on gaining my strength and stamina back because I am no longer in Nike athlete that used to be true and you know at

  • One point in my life and I was just like, oh my goodness my I was laughing

  • I was crying with you guys and I love the point that you came away with which is like you're done with these kind of

  • mainstream

  • You know

  • one-size-fits-all

  • Regimes. Yeah, and now it's really about you tinkering for yourself

  • What feels good for your body? Right? What what's gonna really feel good for you?

  • And what's gonna work for you and then continuing to observe what's working?

  • And what's not and giving yourself permission to tweak as you go? Oh my gosh. Well, it isn't isn't personalization everything

  • I mean, here's what I think Marie and I consider you a a wisdom keeper a teacher and expert

  • You know at some point you really do want your students. You really do want your students become to become the experts on themselves

  • yeah, and always right and and and and to make like they're leaning on you less necessary and I

  • Think about you know from that control room seat all the experts

  • I got to see and all their the the

  • programs and

  • The kind of like you put a program on like a suit of clothes and I have certainly been a program girl

  • which is, you know, give me a program because in my mind, I think that's the answer and

  • What the answer is is customizing your own program like exposing yourself to?

  • ideas into other people's

  • You know programs and steps and then saying wow

  • This one would be a good one for me this I feel good this resonates with me and then putting together your own little recipe

  • Tweaking it every day paying attention to it and literally becoming your own coach

  • Yes

  • Absolutely, but I really appreciate how honest that you are in the book about all the different things

  • You try which brings me, of course to your Desert Hot Springs and winter

  • We got was big you were there for how long well I know

  • I've been there several times now. So I think I've been there a total maybe three or four times. It's it's we care

  • resort, and it's a kind of a Hollywood insider secret, but people come from all over the world and you

  • It's very it's it's not super duper fancy

  • but it's very very warm and you basically go there you're on a fast and you're getting a colonic everyday and

  • doing yoga and

  • You know, it's very supervised and healthy

  • but you really get very clear, you know, you get very clear and I

  • Remember the like I was like, oh my god

  • how am I not gonna eat for eight days and especially if you have some addictions like to caffeine and to

  • alcohol and

  • to

  • You know food

  • It gives you really a chance

  • to in a in a in a safe way to go through, you know a little over a week and and to

  • Kind of reassess and reset your relationship with those things. I

  • Thought what was so moving was when Renee asked you to draw two pictures. Yeah, Alice about that

  • yeah, so I'd signed up for that weight loss for hypnosis for weight loss because I was like well

  • I need something to do all day if I'm not eating and

  • they were these sessions with with Rene Cardenas who just is a brilliant brilliant woman and

  • She brought out that some paper and some crayons and she asked me to do a drawing. She goes don't think about it

  • Just draw and I was kind of like this is stupid

  • Oh my god, you know this is coloring where it where's the where is the watch in front of me?

  • when am I gonna feel hypnotized and

  • And the first so she asked me to draw myself as I saw myself right then

  • And not you know

  • here's another piece of paper now dry yourself as you wish you would be and

  • Then she told me to look at the picture side by side

  • the first one

  • Was this Haggerty looking woman with?

  • two blue crosses where Eyes Were and a red cross where the mouth was and

  • Basically, it was a woman who did not want to see or speak

  • About her state her her worn out Ness and what was happening to her and in the second one?

  • was this

  • energized

  • Flirty looking smiley sparkly eyed

  • You know

  • the woman who was you know in love with life and

  • then she you know, she asked me you know, how

  • how I thought how could this woman become this woman and

  • Asked me to draw a picture and I ended up drawing

  • It was like a door with some fringy grass and so stars in the sky

  • It just was a door and there was a little sign that just came from my subconscious and it said now just walk through

  • and I

  • Remember I spent the rest of that week

  • Staring at that just walk through that that door that that I'm not a great drawer either

  • so it was a very crude drawing of this this doorway imaginary doorway and

  • At what the poignancy marie to me was? Oh my gosh. I'm not alone here

  • I wonder how many of us are staring at that door to the life of our dreams and and we're scared

  • you know we

  • Possibly don't believe it. We don't have the courage. We maybe we don't even have the energy to

  • walk through that door to the life of our dreams and

  • that was really for me the beginning of

  • you know well

  • what if you did sherry what if you did walk through that door what happens then and then what happens then and what if

  • You can still manifest the life of your dreams. What if you really believe that and that was the beginning of a

  • Really a brand new life for me. I gotta say

  • Mmm, I loved it and I loved the simplicity and I also loved the inner resistance

  • I always find that whenever I am on a little journey of growth, whatever

  • I'm kind of the mean girl in my mind or the super hyper judgmental part of my mind like oh

  • This is stupid kind of like what your mind was saying with the drawings. It's like that's usually a stuff

  • I really need to pay attention to

  • It's resistance with the capital of that resistance that resistance with the capital R is usually like a light bulb or a glow stick

  • it's like go towards that my name is

  • So you also wrote about work-life balance?

  • I thought this was really insightful and about if that phrase makes you feel like a failure

  • Every way you turn or like you have to put a drop ceiling on your dreams

  • You have to actually stop using that phrase all together and I just want to say amen to that

  • And I really can't stand that phrase

  • You know some people like Murray, how do you do it all and like?

  • I actually don't and I don't give a shit that I don't do it all I love my life so much

  • It's probably the most unbalanced thing that you'll ever see

  • All I care about is like am I healthy? Am I happy am I joyful?

  • Do I feel like I'm contributing if I can check those boxes? I don't care how all that happens

  • It just happens, right? That's right. Yeah, that's right. I mean and and and I just don't believe it's possible

  • Yeah, you know that the concept of balance is that you're out of it and you come back into it?

  • You're out of it, you know and I get what what some people are

  • Intimating by that phrase, they're saying that you know, don't go unconscious about certain areas of your life

  • Which I certainly have many times but I think for me that like, you know, how do you achieve work/life balance?

  • Feels like failure failure failure failure

  • and and there's such um

  • and and and

  • There's no way to succeed at that and I just makes me feel bad about myself and I was like well

  • are you really trying to achieve work-life balance or or as Murray just

  • spoke about are you trying to

  • manifest a joyride and

  • it's gonna be comprised of a lot of things and you're gonna yeah and

  • flow your attention as you are intuitively guided as

  • How you see fit as what feels good and what brings you the most joy

  • Is that maybe that's the life you're trying to live and not this

  • Artificial construct that is really quite impossible

  • Yes, yes. Yes. Yes and it just feels so

  • Strange and static and kind of dead to me in a way and I love you wrote

  • maybe there's a different way to see things your words one life integrated connected and whole and I was like

  • Yes, Arius a lot of that is exactly right and it just gives us permission to flow and to actually play and you know

  • I'm so kind of tired and done with you probably know this about me. Like I can't fit myself into any boxes

  • You know what? I mean?

  • it's like I don't need one more thing to try and live up to or one more box to try and fit into it just

  • Does feel so artificial

  • So and I loved your follow-up to you said but how when someone asks you right if you're talking or you're speaking in public

  • But how do you spend your free time? And you said all of my time is free time determined by my choices?

  • I was like, oh, okay. Sure. I

  • Love it. But listen, I was I was with that

  • You know with the choir of misery to where you'd be like I have I have to I have to you know

  • Just like, you know, not really. Yeah, you're pretty much it's all your free time. You're not trapped in the gulag girl. Yes. Yeah

  • Oh my goodness speaking this I need to send you the book because there's this one part I have in the book where we're talking

  • about excuses

  • Specifically around time and I wrote this piece or like you choose it you choose all of it like every single bit of it

  • Yeah, when we start to see that I know when I see that it was funny

  • I was like complaining to myself the other day or you know, whenever I find myself gonna think I have so much work

  • I literally checked myself shower and I'm like, oh and guess who created all that me like hand-raised

  • Guess who is guess whose whipped all this up? It is a hundred percent my responsibility

  • So I was like you either be joyful in this or you make some changes. Those are your two choices? That's right. That's right

  • that's very

  • So I want to wrap us up today with the last chapter in your book love the last chapter. You are what you dream

  • I love that you write the story is ours too, right? So it's been about three. Is it three years right now?

  • Yeah for you. Yes. Yes

  • So tell us what is your story feeling like right now because I know even though you have this beautiful book

  • Which is incredible your life continues to evolve even after you handed in this manuscript. It does it does continue to evolve and

  • it you know what it feels like nets on some games and

  • what I mean by that is, you know, I will I'll take three steps forward and then

  • A step and a half back and then I have learned to stop and focus and go. Hey, that's one and a half steps forward

  • Instead of you know browbeating myself into not wanting to attempt anything

  • Yes, and and and consciousness I mean

  • Three years ago, I made a very very

  • Radical for my age group decision of culturally that radical self-care would be my

  • my day in and day out and so that that's what it looks like every day that everything everything that

  • feels good and healthy and joyful comes first and

  • that I really really

  • Focus on letting go of

  • Those old tapes in my head that that just stressed me out or made me feel incomplete

  • unworthy or bad about myself and replace it with the voice that's encouraging and tender and loving and

  • Everything else flows from there Marie like from there

  • I'm inspired to do creative things and innovative things and ever and from there

  • I'm inspired to you know meet new people and forge new relationships

  • but it all comes from that foundation of

  • What am I gonna do to feel good today

  • I love it. And for anyone listening right now who suspects it's time for them to start writing a new story for themselves

  • What do you want to leave him with today?

  • Do it do it be it

  • That news story is is waiting for you to write and

  • You can actually take very very small steps to help you through the fear through the fear of change

  • but once you start to once you start to get those dream fires a

  • blazing all of a sudden you do have the energy and you do have the courage and you do have the

  • Inspiration to go in the direction you need to go

  • Love it. Love it. Love it

  • Love it so much and I'll just add one more question for you because this was something that made me cheer in your book

  • You head into Italy anytime soon, cuz you and I both have our happy place in Italy. Oh

  • My with my eight months of Italian lessons, I know yeah, I've got well listen

  • I I would like to go my my dream is when Bella and kissy

  • Go to the the great dog pasture in the sky. I I have a little dream of

  • Maybe doing something like living and working from Italy for a year. So maybe you can join me in that. Oh

  • yeah, we're gonna share some notes and I'm gonna you know

  • I'll fly and I'm gonna send you some of my favorite audios in terms of Italian lessons because Josh and I have been going back

  • And forth like driving when we're driving out to Long Island or whatever

  • Listening to these things and I've got some villas that I'm gonna turn you onto that are awesome

  • So I think you and I may be having some you know

  • Other little cup races or a little vino or a little whatever in Italy sometime very soon. Oh

  • My gosh, I would love that

  • Marie

  • Sherry, thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you for this beautiful book the beautiful

  • No, and I look forward to talking with you again soon. I love you Marie. Thank you. Love you, too. Thank you. Bye

  • Hey you having trouble bringing your dreams to life for guess what the problem, isn't you?

  • It's not that you're not hard-working or intelligent or deserving. It's that you haven't yet installed the one key belief that will change it all

  • Everything is figure out a ball. It's my new book and it launches September 10th

  • You can order it now at everything figure out a bolt calm

Hey, it's marie forleo and welcome to the marie forleo podcast today

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