Hi.

I'm bored.

I'm Jimmy.

I'm the host of the show.

Thanks for taking a few minutes away from banana bread or whatever.

You're making the watch me talk to myself in my kitchen.

I'd like to wish Ah, warm First night of Passover to those who are celebrating it.

Who could have guessed there be an 11th plague this year and hello to those of you who joined me earlier in prime time for the return of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

What a big night for television that we said goodbye tonight to one of the great shows of all time modern family.

We will celebrate later with the cast via the magic of video chat.

Tonight, we will finally answer the question What this Ed O'Neill wear around the house?

This might be the new modern family.

This is according to People magazine, and they've never steered us wrong before.

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, who, as you probably know were married at one time, are now in quarantine Together.

There they are with their kids and ah, giant spoon.

What happened?

Did they shrink?

And what is with the pajamas?

What is happening here?

Listen, I've seen 12 monkeys.

This is not how Bruce Willis is supposed to be handling a global pandemic.

We're really get to see the insides of a lot of people's houses right now.

Even politicians.

Senator Lindsey Graham gave us a glimpse into his confirmed bachelor pad after he held up the stimulus bill because he was concerned that these greedy and lazy nurses and hospital personnel would take unemployment money instead of showing up for work.

But yesterday he changed his tune significantly to send those same people his thanks and support on World Health Day.

We're in a war with this virus, and our special forces are heroes where our doctors, our nurses, our empties, nurse's aides, anybody in the supply chain to get food on the shelves.

Your eternally the heroes of this fight.

What a beautiful piece of artwork.

I had no idea Lindsey Graham knew how to paint.

We also got to see the inside of Bernie Sanders is House the big story of the day will.

The second big story, I guess, is that Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the race for president.

He made the announcement from his home in Vermont where he has been holed up for weeks.

Obviously, without the benefit of a haircut, I have concluded that this battle for the Democratic nomination will not be successful.

And so today I'm announcing the suspension of my campaign.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get Michael J.

Fox back to 1985.

Within a few minutes of this news breaking, this was trending R I p.

Bernie, you know, when you're in the middle of a pandemic, talking about a 78 year old man, maybe choose your hashtag a little bit more carefully.

Give Bernie credit, though he held on for longer than your mother on the phone even after you thought it was over, had a few more ideas to share Bernie, as he knows in his seventies, Biden is in his seventies.

Trump is in his seventies, and after this past month we are We are all in our seventies to So now it's Biden versus Trump, Sleepy versus Creepy.

You know, the president spoke with Joe Biden on the telephone this week, and according to Biden, it was good conversation, and Trump was very gracious on the call.

I don't know that doesn't sound right to me.

Is it possible Joe dialed Alec Baldwin by mistake?

I really don't know how he finds the time, but Trump has been on TV a lot lately, even more than usual.

It's like he hosts a daily show now.

You know, when this nightmare got started, he kept saying, It'll be fine.

It's like the flu.

It's no big deal.

All you have to do is paint your face orange.

You'll be OK.

But we learned yesterday that one of his top advisers, Peter Navarro, warned him in January and February.

He wrote a memo saying that this would be very bad.

There will be a lot of deaths, but Trump, as you might imagine, has a different way of looking at that.

When Peter Navarro did circulate those memos, you were still downplaying the threat of Corona virus in the U.

S.

You were saying things like, I think it's a problem that's going to go away with.

It will go, you said.

Within a couple of days, cases will be down to zero.

Cases really didn't build up for a while.

But you have to understand I'm a cheerleader for this country.

Give me a B.

Give me an s.

He's more of a fear leader than a cheerleader.

He is so ready to move on from this he tweeted today the horror of the invisible enemy Except for those that sadly lost a family member.

A friend must be quickly for gotten.

No, it should not be for gotten.

We need to remember.

So the next time it happens, we're prepared for it also.

Is this how we handle tragedies?

Now we forget what happened to never forget we went from never forget to forget about it.

You know, Even though the CDC is telling us to wear masks, Trump says he won't and we now know why he doesn't feel the need to do that.

Anyone who comes to visit Trump gets a Corona virus test before they enter.

The way it works is if you go to the White House to meet with the president, they'll give you a rapid test to make sure guests don't have the virus before interacting with.

Basically, the White House is running on the same rules as a porno set right now, Trump also gave us a sneak preview of the kind of nonsense we have to look forward to come November.

The new plan to suppress voting is to go after male in balance because of the possibility that this virus could still be a concern on Election Day.

A lot of people want to put more focus on mail in ballots, so you don't have to risk your life to cast your vote.

But Donald Trump would prefer we line up.

You were highly critical of mail in voting, failing your mail in ballots for you.

Everything is voted year up in Florida's election last month.

Sure, I could vote by mail for because I'm allowed to.

Well, that's cooled out of state.

You know why I voted?

Because I happen to be in the White House and it won't be able to go to Florida.

Look, let me just failing.

Well, there's a big difference between somebody that's out of state and does a ballot and everything sealed, certified and everything else.

You see what you have to do with the certifications, and you get thousands and thousands of people sitting in somebody's living room signing ballots all over the place.

No, I think that mail in voting is a terrible thing allow?

Yes, it would be, even if a word of that was true, it would be a terrible thing.

He just makes stuff up.

No one was signing thousands and thousands of ballots in their living room unless he was.

There's not a shred of evidence that happened.

What he's doing, he's trying to set the stage for if he loses, if he loses, who claimed the vote was fixed?

He's teeing us up for a civil war.

And how can Donald Trump tell us not to use the mail?

The mail is how he ordered two of his wives.

Leadership seems hard to come by as of late parts of Louisiana.

On top of the stay at home orders, they have a curfew.

And police in the city of Crowley came up with an overly creative way to enforce that.

Yeah, I remember that one.

That's a siren from the movie franchise.

The Purge purge is a horror movie about a national holiday in which all crimes including murder our legal for 12 hours.

When that time period starts, sirens go off to signal all emergency services are unavailable.

The department received more than 500 Facebook comments asking why it's using the Syron.

It was to remind people that thistle is a very serious matter.

Okay, well, mission accomplished.