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  • -Due to the coronavirus outbreak,

  • many events that people look forward to every year

  • have been postponed or called off completely.

  • Yesterday, towns across the country

  • were forced to cancel their Easter parades.

  • Well, we here at "Late Night"

  • couldn't stand by and let that happen,

  • so here is one of my writers, Amber Ruffin,

  • with the world's first quarantine Easter parade.

  • -Hello. I'm Amber Ruffin,

  • and I'm wearing a gown because I feel like it.

  • Now, I love parades.

  • And I don't think we should all have to miss out

  • on the fun of Easter parades just because

  • we're all locked up in our houses.

  • So I'm throwing an Easter quarantine parade

  • for you, right now, from my house.

  • ♪♪

  • Oh! And here comes the first float.

  • Let's take a look.

  • Our first float in the Easter quarantine parade is, of course,

  • the alcohols of quarantine.

  • Oh, I see there's vodka, everyone's favorite,

  • and his best friend, tequila.

  • Not my favorite brand, but it was on sale, so I got two.

  • And triple sec.

  • You can't have a margarita without triple sec --

  • that is, until all your triple sec runs out.

  • Then you can...and will!

  • Now, those are all, of course, evening drinks.

  • During the day, it's Moscato!

  • Ah! And here comes the second float

  • in the Easter quarantine parade, jeans and bras!

  • Now, fun fact about these jeans --

  • I haven't worn them for over 27 days

  • and I don't know if I ever will again.

  • And speaking of things I'll never wear again, bras.

  • By the way, today's parade is sponsored by margaritas.

  • Margaritas, thank you. I love you.

  • Up next, oh, it's the tangerines!

  • A very personal Easter quarantine float

  • for me, because once every two weeks,

  • my husband buys a giant bag of tangerines.

  • Now, we have a mix of fresh ones and old ones.

  • Fun fact -- I've never seen my husband eat a tangerine.

  • He buys them, brings them home, and never throws them away!

  • Let's hear it for tangerines.

  • Oh, we've got a beautiful crowd out there.

  • Let's take a look.

  • Now, we've got a big, shiny bulldog,

  • Mommy and Daddy, and some lucky cats.

  • Mommy and Daddy -- the only things keeping the peace

  • between the bulldog and the cats.

  • Good job, Mommy and Daddy.

  • Next up, books!

  • That's right -- that big, fat pile of books

  • you planned on reading during the quarantine

  • is still there waiting for you to crack

  • at least one of them open.

  • Sorry, books.

  • I guess you'll have to wait for the next pandemic.

  • Next up, a favorite of the Easter quarantine parade.

  • It's a dozen chocolate-chip cookies!

  • Now, these cookies -- Wait. Where are these cookies?

  • Oh, that's right.

  • They were eaten seconds after coming out of the oven

  • instead of dinner because we're more animal than human now.

  • Kind of funny anyone actually thought

  • that they would survive until the next day.

  • And, of course, the final float in

  • the Easter quarantine parade, a Zoom meeting!

  • That's right -- your least-favorite colleagues

  • all on one screen!

  • Now, that's it for the quarantine Easter parade.

  • I'd like to thank everyone who made the time to come out today,

  • especially Mommy and Daddy.

  • I'd also like to thank our sponsor, margaritas.

  • Margaritas -- if it weren't for them,

  • I would have murdered my husband by now, with a tangerine.

  • That's it for us.

  • Back you to, Seth.

  • -Thank you to Amber Ruffin. We'll be right back.

-Due to the coronavirus outbreak,

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