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  • -Last week, during a Coronavirus Task Force

  • briefing at the White House,

  • the U.S. surgeon general, Jerome Adams,

  • revealed that the coronavirus is disproportionately

  • affecting Black and Hispanic Americans

  • and, to fix that, Adams said, people of color need

  • to "Step up and take responsibility

  • for keeping themselves healthy."

  • He added...

  • Here, with more on that, is one of our writers,

  • Amber Ruffin, with a segment called

  • "Amber's Minute of Fury."

  • [ Heavy metal theme plays ]

  • [ Flames crackling ]

  • -Fool,

  • I know you did not just get up in front

  • of your little white friends and blame the spread

  • of the coronavirus on minorities.

  • Damn!

  • There is nothing this administration won't blame

  • on people of color.

  • I'm surprised they didn't give a press conference

  • on Easter to point out the fact that,

  • [ changes accent ] the worst jelly beans

  • are the Black ones.

  • Now, I can see this type of thing coming

  • from a member of Trump's staff,

  • but I did not see it coming from a Jerome.

  • A Chad; a Tyler, maybe.

  • But a Jerome?

  • You friggin' idiot.

  • You are parroting classic right-wing talking points.

  • If Billboard had a chart for racist talking points,

  • "Minorities just don't take care of themselves"

  • would be number 2, right after "Never talk about the real root

  • of the problem -- systemic racism."

  • Tsk. Y'all, this man went on national television,

  • flanked by the world's most famous racists,

  • and tried to get minorities to stop the spread by saying...

  • [ As Adams ] Do it for your abuela.

  • Do it for Big Mama.

  • Now, when he was talking to white people about it,

  • did he say, "Do it for Pee-Paw"?

  • Did he say, "Do it for Gam-Gams"?

  • No! Because you can talk to white people regular,

  • but when you talk to minorities,

  • you have to do an impersonation, or we can't understand you.

  • And reporters are like,

  • "Black people are getting sicker than white people.

  • Mm, anyway, on to sports."

  • But you can't do that!

  • 'Cause there are no sports anymore, but also,

  • if you want to point out a disparity like that,

  • you have to say what caused it.

  • It's redlining. It's doctor bias.

  • It's systemic racism!

  • And, if you don't know what those things mean,

  • it's probably also you!

  • America is set up specifically to do this to Black people.

  • Bad things always affect Black people worse

  • and Americans always act like it's Black people's fault.

  • If Nancy Kerrigan was Black, people would've been like...

  • [ changes accent ] Well, why were you in that pipe's way?

  • Also, if you're gonna hang out in this rink,

  • you need to buy something.

  • Bad things always affect us disproportionately.

  • Except sunburns.

  • Now, if it was only Black people who got sunburns,

  • sunblock would not exist.

  • Well, it would, but you wouldn't be able

  • to get it at like Walgreens.

  • You'd only be able to get it

  • at like a Lee's Beauty Supply,

  • which is fine, 'cause I was going there, anyway.

  • Now, the coronavirus is

  • affecting Black people disproportionately.

  • That is a fact, but here's the thing, Jerome!

  • You can't run around saying that fact out loud

  • because we want the government to fix it!

  • And, if you tell Americans it mostly affects Black people,

  • folks will be outside in a big pile,

  • French kissing strangers [ Striking palm ] tomorrow.

  • No one would care! You need to tell people

  • this coronavirus only affects old white men

  • and white children.

  • That's how you get people to care.

  • We should be calling this the J. Crew virus.

  • [ changes accent ] "The J. Crew virus -- Is it serious?"

  • Well, you can only get it if you've been

  • in a J. Crew the past year.

  • "[ Gasp ] The past year?!

  • I go every day!

  • They're my emergency contact!"

  • Now, here's the deal.

  • When you have a job that allows you to work from home,

  • you can stay home.

  • It just so happens that the jobs

  • that have been deemed essential --

  • healthcare providers, bus drivers, subway operators,

  • food delivery people --

  • a lot of these jobs are done by Black people,

  • and that's messed up, in several ways,

  • but I'll just say this.

  • Minorities are dying so people can eat Domino's Pizza

  • in their pajamas. That's effed up!

  • In part, because Pizza Hut

  • is infinitely better.

  • I'm right, and I don't have time to argue with you about it.

  • People are dying.

  • Now, I'm working from home,

  • but almost every Black person I know is at work right now,

  • talking about how spoiled I am.

  • And they're right!

  • Mmm.

  • But, really, there's a lot

  • of Black and Brown people I love

  • who have been at work every day since this thing started

  • and, real talk,

  • I am losing sleep, terrified for them.

  • I wanna come on the show, doing a silly sketch

  • where I'm dressed as a doughnut,

  • talking about "Amber ate my family,"

  • but, instead, I gotta be doing this

  • because I'm a human being and I live in this world

  • and I wanna, in some tiny way,

  • try and undo the danger you put us all in

  • when you talk like a friggin' idiot on national television!

  • This has been "Amber's Minute of Fury"!

  • ♪♪

-Last week, during a Coronavirus Task Force

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Amber's Minute of Fury: Jerome Adams, Surgeon General of the United States

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/04/23
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