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  • (perky music)

  • (knocking)

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • - Whoa, what?

  • No, no!

  • I gotta go to the bathroom like, now!

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Bones?

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Are you saying bones like slang for money?

  • Or what is this?

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Okay, so you want me to find you some chicken bones

  • in my apartment somewhere, or...

  • (dialog squeaks)

  • Yeah, okay man.

  • No, I'll go find you some dinosaur bones

  • so I can go to the bathroom.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Sadistic freak, good God.

  • (accordion music)

  • (yawning)

  • (yelling)

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • - Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.

  • Not yet, okay?

  • I just got up, I need water and coffee and pee.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • No, not drink pee.

  • Like, eject pee from my body.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Is that a yes?

  • I don't have my glasses on,

  • I can't see what the little bubble is saying.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • I'm not trying to be racist,

  • but your language is weird, I'm sorry.

  • - I am so tired of being cooped up with my roommates.

  • - I know, dude.

  • Who'd you get?

  • - A duck and a rabbit.

  • (duck quacking) What about you?

  • - I got stuck with a wolf and a sheep.

  • (wolf growling)

  • Wait. (sheep bleating)

  • Oh, just a wolf I guess.

  • (wolf snarling)

  • Oh, okay, this wolf is asking me

  • to get into a cauldron with a bunch of carrots,

  • I gotta go.

  • - Courtney, I wouldn't do that.

  • (wolf howling)

  • Oh, too late.

  • (metallic clanging)

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • - What, flimsy?

  • That's hella rude, I worked on this all day.

  • It's not flimsy, you're flimsy, flimsy old game voice.

  • Rude.

  • (spoon whooshing)

  • (sighing)

  • Screw it.

  • (squelching)

  • - Come on, I need bells, man.

  • I got laid off and rent is due, all right?

  • Just help me out.

  • Just give me some bells!

  • (wasps buzzing)

  • Uh oh.

  • (grunting)

  • Thought you went extinct!

  • Hi there.

  • I'm Shayne, from Smosh.

  • In that last segment you just saw,

  • I yelled out that I thought wasps were extinct.

  • Now, you're probably thinking I was just being silly,

  • but the reality is that I'm actually an idiot.

  • Stay safe out there.

  • - Hi, man.

  • I looked through my whole apartment,

  • couldn't find any bones for you.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Wait, you want me to dig in my apartment?

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • With what?

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • I don't have a shovel!

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • With what?

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • It hurts!

  • I have to make it, it hurts!

  • (wood cracking)

  • I just bought this chair, aw, man.

  • - Damn, you can't even get toilet paper online anymore.

  • What do I do now?

  • (pinging)

  • Oh my God.

  • Yes!

  • (air whooshing)

  • Oh no, oh man, I don't have my slingshot!

  • I shouldn't have used it to wipe my ass.

  • (funky synthesized music)

  • - We don't have a joke for this one,

  • but I do look like Blathers, right?

  • - Oh, actually, I think I look the most like Blathers.

  • - Well, thank you for interrupting me, Tim,

  • but how 'bout we let the fans decide?

  • Who looks the most like Blathers?

  • Vote now in the comments.

  • - Look, you're my boss, I don't want to fight.

  • - Vote now in the comments.

  • The one that loses gets fired.

  • - You really want to fire your tech guy

  • when you're working from home?

  • - No, sorry, sorry.

  • - Sorry what?

  • - I'm sorry, Mr. Blathers.

  • - That's right, bitch.

  • - Oh man, I need to work out but all the gyms are closed.

  • (ringing)

  • (hammer smacking) (drill whirring)

  • And done!

  • Oh my god, oh, I'm tired.

  • I can't work out now.

  • No, that was excruciating, oh my God.

  • Has it been a whole day?

  • - Hey mom.

  • - Hi sweetie.

  • Oh, can you see me?

  • Did you get the package I sent?

  • - Mom, don't send me packages while we're in quarantine.

  • Everything will be contaminated.

  • - I just wanted to make sure you were fed.

  • - What did you even send?

  • - An apple.

  • - Mom, I can't imagine an apple

  • surviving being mailed across the country.

  • - Y'all, there's a sale.

  • I'm gonna send you more.

  • - I don't need (beep) apples, mom!

  • - Language, young lady.

  • - Okay, I'm sorry, it's just my place already had

  • a million apples to start with.

  • - Oh, there it is, though.

  • It's shipped.

  • All right, love you.

  • - No, mom, please!

  • Oh my God.

  • - Hey man, I found fossils.

  • That's kind of like bones.

  • Can I please go to the bathroom now?

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Oh yes, thank God.

  • Whoo!

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Oh God, I would like to poop please.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Of all the dumbass...

  • I would like to use the toilet.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Lift up the seat first.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Take off my pants first!

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Oh my god, no.

  • Wait, no, yes, no, yes, I'm sure,

  • I want to go to the bathroom.

  • (dialog squeaking)

  • Ah, (beep) it, I'm just gonna

  • let it reign free in my trousers.

  • It's what the pioneers did.

  • If you wanna feel true free freedom

  • Reign free inside your jeans

  • - Hi there, Shayne again from Smosh.

  • In that last joke,

  • Damien told you that the only way to feel true freedom

  • is to (beep) your pants.

  • Well, I'm here to tell you it's 100% true.

  • I've tried just now, and you should try, too.

  • Go ahead, do it.

  • Reign free.