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  • Next.

  • [If Google was a guy]

  • Google.

  • Six feet away, please.

  • Am I glad to see you.

  • I'm sure you have questions about the pandemic.

  • Are rhinos elephants?

  • Are what?

  • Toilet paper in bulk.

  • Sold out, sorry.

  • Ah, paper towel in bulk.

  • Sold out, too.

  • Tissue paper in bulk.

  • Sold out.

  • You know, in olden days we just used rags.

  • Underwear in bulk.

  • Very gross.

  • How do I Zoom?

  • Videoconferencing is a great way to stay connected.

  • Do I Zoom on Facebook?

  • Where to begin.

  • How do I Facebook?

  • How islands stay put?

  • Nothing about coronavirus?

  • The quarantine?

  • Islands have anchors?

  • Mojito recipe.

  • So you're going to need mint.

  • Don't have it.

  • - Lime. - Don't have it.

  • - Club soda. - Don't have it.

  • And rum.

  • Woo, mojitos.

  • Online yoga class.

  • Good for you staying in shape.

  • Online Zumba class.

  • Regular exercise is a great stress reliever.

  • Online crossfit class.

  • Just be careful to...

  • Online chiropractor class.

  • Pace yourself.

  • The rate of spread in foreign countries.

  • The U.S. government response.

  • Exclamation point but for quiet.

  • Chicken.

  • A lot of grocery stores are sold out so you're gonna need to get creative.

  • Farms near me.

  • Good thinking.

  • Some farms will deliver vegetables right to your door.

  • Stealing chickens.

  • Uh, not that creative.

  • How to wash hands...

  • Soap is one of the best weapons we have against the virus.

  • Memes.

  • Ugh, these are pretty funny, actually.

  • Jewel's "Hands" but for how to wash hands.

  • Ah, she didn't.

  • Calculate volume sphere.

  • Why not ask a parent for some homeschooling?

  • Uh, calculate volume sphere.

  • These hands are washed like so

  • With water first

  • And then with soap

  • This slaps.

  • Dow Jones.

  • Bad news.

  • S&P 500.

  • Ooh, yikes.

  • NASDAQ.

  • Sorry.

  • Animal Crossing real estate.

  • Not a real thing.

  • Dollar to turnip exchange rate.

  • How long quarantine?

  • This says two months.

  • Months?

  • This says six months.

  • Oh my God.

  • And this says 2021.

  • I have longer, if you want.

  • Animal shelter.

  • Animal shelters are struggling right now so it's a great time to bring home a quarantine buddy.

  • Adopting a chicken.

  • Not that creative.

  • Time of day.

  • 4 p.m.

  • Day of week.

  • Thursday.

  • Month of year.

  • April.

  • 2020 can suck my...

  • Ah, so you know the year.

  • What do I do?

  • Do the five.

  • Wash your hands often, cough into your elbow, don't touch your face, keep a safe distance from others, and stay home.

  • You're touching your face.

  • I suddenly can't stop.

  • Flat curve theory.

  • Finally.

  • Flatten the curve means that if we practice social distancing we can control the spread of the virus over time, keeping hospitals from being overwhelmed and saving lives.

  • Sorry, flat earth theory.

  • Oh God, I need a mojito.

  • Miami beach parties.

  • You realize how irresponsible this is?

  • I'm 22.

  • You could still give the virus to someone older than you or someone immunocompromised or die from it yourself.

  • No one is completely safe.

  • Sexy HAZMAT suit.

  • Stay home.

  • How to feel normal?

  • Look, it's normal to not feel normal.

  • We've never gone through anything like this as a modern society so go easy on yourself and look for pleasant distractions.

  • Exclamation point but for quiet.

  • Let's find out.

  • These hands are washed liked so

  • With water first

  • And then with soap

  • Scrub back and forth

  • And to and fro

  • For at least 30 seconds

Next.

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