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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.

  • YOU LUCKY PEOPLE BECAUSE CONAN O'BRIEN IS STILL HERE.

  • THERE IS AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF CONAN O'BRIEN.

  • HE IS OUR ONE RENEWABLE RESOURCE IN THIS COUNTRY.

  • I SAY WE GO OFF OF OIL AND NATURAL GAS, AND WE JUST START

  • BURNING CONAN.

  • >> LISTEN, WE'RE BOTH DOING THE BEST WE CAN IN WHAT I THINK IS A

  • TRYING TIME.

  • >> Stephen: BUT IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT PEOPLE ARE

  • GOING THROUGH.

  • WE HAVE JOBS.

  • >> NO, NO.

  • >> Stephen: THIS IS NOTHING COMPARES TO WHAT PEOPLE ARE

  • GOING THROUGH.

  • >> NO, THIS, WHAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH AS CELEBRITIES IS WORSE

  • THAN WHAT ANYBODY ELSE IS GOING THROUGH!

  • >> Stephen: I APOLOGIZE.

  • I APOLOGIZE.

  • I FORGOT MY STATUS.

  • >> WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAN?

  • >> Stephen: I FORGOT MY STATUS, CONAN.

  • >> YOU LOST YOUR PERSPECTIVE FOR A SECOND.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • >> ALL RIGHT.

  • DIKNOW THAT YOUR FATHER WENT TO HOLY CROSS.

  • >> Stephen: HOLY CROSS, YEAH.

  • >> I DID KNOW THAT.

  • >> Stephen: HE WAS VALEDICTORIAN OF HIS YEAR, HOLY

  • CROSS.

  • NO BIGGIE.

  • >> WOW.

  • MY FATHER DID NOT LIVE ON CAMPUS BECAUSE IT WAS JUST AFTER THE

  • WAR, AND SO HE LIVED AT HOME IN MILBURY, MASSACHUSETTS, AND HAD

  • TO-- I THINK THAT WAS A SORE SPOT FOR HIM, THAT HE HAD TO --

  • >> Stephen: I'LL MAKE THIS QUICK, BUT DID I EVER TELL YOU

  • ABOUT BONES HAMILTON, ABOUT THE GUY THEY MET WHO WENT TO COLLEGE

  • WITH MY DAD?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Stephen: TAKE A HALF SECOND.

  • EARLY "DAILY SHOW"" WAY, WAY, BACK, MAYBE EVEN CRAIG KILBURN

  • "DAILY SHOW,"" REALLY OLD.

  • >> WE CALL THAT "DAILY SHOW" CLASSIC."

  • >> Stephen: SUN CITY, ARIZONA.

  • THEY'VE GOT COPS PATROLLING SUN CITY WHO ARE ALL OVER 80 YEARS

  • OLD, PATROLLING ON GOLF CARTS AND I'M PATROLLING WITH THEM.

  • THERE IS A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE CORONER AND THESE 80-YEAR-OLD,

  • 85-YEAR-OLD GUYS ARE MDISTANCES BETWEEN CAR WHEELS ASK STUFF.

  • AND I'M LEANING AGAINST THE WALL OF THE GATED COMMUNITIES AND

  • THERE'S A GUY ON THE OTHER SIDES LEANING OVER IT AND TEEFS HAD 40

  • FEET AWAY FROM ME.

  • AND THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE CUT OF HIS JIB THEY LIKED

  • AND I WENT OVER AND INTRODUCEMYSELF.

  • AT ONE POINT HE SAID HE WENT TO HOLY CROSS.

  • I SAID, WHAT, YEAR DID YOU GRADUATE?"

  • I SAID, "DID YOU KNOW JIM COLBERT?"

  • HE SAID, "I DOUBLE DATED WITH HIM."

  • I SAID THAT WAS MY DAD.

  • HE KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FATHER.

  • HE SAID, "DO YOU HAVE YOUR FATHER'S YEAR BOOK?"

  • I SAID, I DON'T."

  • AND HE PULLED OUT WANT YEAR BOOK, AND CUTS OUT MY FATHER'S

  • PAGE, A FULL PAGE OF WHAT PEOPLE HAD TO SAY ABOUT HIM AND STUFF

  • LIKE THAT AND HANDED IT TO ME, AND IT'S ON MY OFFICE WALL RIGHT

  • NOW.

  • >> AND THAT WAS A RANDOM ENCOUNTER.

  • >> Stephen: HE SAID, "YOU TELL YOUR MOM YOU MET BONES

  • HAMILTON."

  • ISN'T THAT GREAT?

  • >> HE'S WANTED IN THREE STATES FOR ALL KINDS OF --

  • >> Stephen: EXACTLY.

  • FOR COLLECTING BONES.

  • THEY FOUND OUT WHERE HE GOT THE BONES FROM.

  • >> THAT'S A GREAT STORY.

  • WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STORY.

  • THAT'S FANTASTIC.

  • >> Stephen: THANKS VERY MUCH, MAN.

  • THANK YOU-- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, MAN.

  • >> AND THANK YOU -- >> Stephen: AND FOR HAVING ME

  • THERE.

  • >> GOODBYE.

  • >> Stephen: GOD BLESS YOU.

  • >> I KNOW I'M YOUR HERO.

  • TAKE CARE.

  • >> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT, A LITTLE BIT.

  • >> ALL RIGHT.

  • MY BEST TO YOUR FAMILY.

  • TAKE CARE.

  • >> Stephen: CONAN O'BRIEN, EERYBODY!

  • >> CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE NOW STONE PHILLIPS.

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU.

  • >> GOD BLESS YOU.

  • >> Stephen: WHEN WE RETURN, I'LL TELL YOU A CHILLING STORY

  • ABOUT SITTING NAKED ON A HODEL BEDSPREAD.

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.

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