B2 High-Intermediate US 12 Folder Collection
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-Let's get to the news.
President Trump tweeted four times over the weekend,
quoting a "New York Times" article
about the high television ratings
for daily press conferences about the coronavirus pandemic.
Hey, man, we're not tuning in to hear from you.
We're tuning in to hear from Dr. Fauci.
He's the Ross and Rachel of this thing
and you will always be the Gunther.
President Trump over the weekend asked the CDC to issue
a strong travel advisory
for New York, Connecticut, and New Jersey.
So bad news if you wanted to see the Empire State Building,
Mystic Seaport, or a baby with her ears pierced.
Mike Scollins -- if you're from New Jersey and you're angry,
Mike Scollins wrote that joke.
President Trump announced yesterday he would extend
social-distancing guidelines through next month.
Said Americans, "This is still the same month?"
This March came in like a lion
and went out like a kick in the [bleep].
That's right. Despite saying last week that he wanted
to have the country open by Easter,
President Trump said yesterday he would extend
social-distancing guidelines until next month.
On the plus side, you can still spend Easter the way
you always do -- by completely forgetting about it
until your mom calls and you lie about going to church.
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has written
a letter to every household in Britain,
urging people to stay indoors
and practice social distancing during the coronavirus outbreak.
So that's interesting.
Social distancing is called the same thing here as it is there.
I just assumed it would be something like
"Her Majesty's dodgy pleasure."
Either way, everyone eat your crumpets in your flat, you hear?
A doughnut shop in New York is offering new doughnuts
that feature a picture
of infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci
with red, white, and blue sprinkles, which is sweet.
But if you really want to pay tribute to Dr. Fauci,
close your doughnut shop!
According to movie review website Rotten Tomatoes,
Netflix's "Tiger King"
ranks as the most popular show on TV right now.
I guess after a Trump press briefing,
people are craving the solid leadership
and smart decision making of Joe Exotic.
Good guy for a pandemic, Joe Exotic.
Authorities in North Carolina recently recovered
nearly 20,000 pounds of stolen toilet paper.
Officials recovered the stolen goods after offering a bounty.
I think if there was an audience here,
they'd react the same way.
Bob Dylan has released a 17-minute song
about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
Even crazier, in minute 10, he confesses to it.
"I didn't think you'd listen this long.
You got me."
And finally, today was rapper MC Hammer's 58th birthday,
and he just released his new single,
"You Can't Touch Anything."
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President Trump Extends Social Distancing Guidelines

12 Folder Collection
isaac published on April 8, 2020
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