Just, ah, plainly colored square, simply bearing the words don't assume, just ask.

And these four words, although brief, were powerful to me as someone from a diverse background.

And it really just makes me think about how we as a society and especially as teenagers are so quick to judge each other and just jump to conclusions before we even have the chance to speak to one another.

And despite that we realized this, we often fail to acknowledge it.

Writer John Quinn.

It describes this feeling as Saunders the realization that each random passer by is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

But if you're questioning this idea that we quickly form judgments about others and then failed to acknowledge their feelings, I very quickly like to test this idea on myself.

So the person standing before you is indeed me.

But this person is also me.

So based on my appearance now and the image before you the images before you by a show of hands and you could be honest.

I want you to raise your hands.

If you think any of these things that I'm going to say apply to me.

So how many of you think that I'm confident?

Okay.

Brave vein.

Okay.

Self absorbed and attractive.

Okay.

Thank you.

All right, Now, I would like to try something else.

I'm going to say a few things about myself, and I want you to raise your hands once again.

If any of the things that I say surprise you and I want you to keep them raised.

So what if I told you that I was once a victim of bullying or that I'm a survivor of assault?

The fact that I can't swim or that I play for instruments or even the fact that I have embarrassingly burned myself with Laffy Taffy.

Very true story.

Or, you know, even the fact that I am an identical twin.

Cute.

I know.

Thank you.

And you can put your hands down.

Needless to say, knowing very little about me, each of you were already able to make an assumption about me and label me a such But I question you Did you even think to consider how I would feel before you raised your hand.

Probably not, but had you had the chance to ask me about myself, maybe you might have not been surprised by some of these things.

So how exactly do we make assumptions?

If this is something we're all doing unconsciously, what's the point of trying to reduce it?

While this is something I've pondered myself for the last few months and based off my understanding of and research on psychology, I've learned that our brain understands different communicative signals based on a couple of different stimuli, body language, speech and facial expression.

However, at this facial expression itself that is considered to be the universal form of communication.

And in fact, it was Charles Darwin himself who was the first to suggest the importance of facial expression in judgment making in the early development of his very well known theory of evolution.

And this was an idea further corroborated by psychologists Silvan Tomkins, in his own study, his own facial expression in the early 19 sixties, he determined that we associate certain facial expressions with specific emotional states and feelings, and his findings strongly support the idea that regardless of who we are or where we're from.

We all universally understand seven main facial expressions.

Joy, surprise, contempt, sadness, anger, disgust and fear.

Furthermore, any more recent 2015 study psychological researchers Katherine Rogers and Jeremy Bisons play strangers in a platonic speed date setting, and it was determined that after encountering a stranger for merely three minutes, we associate someone when we meet them for the first time as being simply average, socially desirable or sometimes a mixture of both.

And based on the British psychological societies interpretation of this, it seems that we make associations based on what we have experience of and prefer toe Orient tor word.

Therefore, without knowing someone for very long, we can already make judgments about them.

So how does this apply to us?

Is teenagers?

Why does this matter?

How does this affect us directly?

Well, I decided to bring this idea within our community, but specifically within my own high school.

So with the help of my guidance counselor, Ah, few teachers and 10 student participants, I truly learned how labels and assumptions effect are you.

So I took photos of and interviewed my participants in their most natural state you know, come as you are.

And then I asked them five basic questions.

What are some negative labels people have given you?

How do you feel about yourself because of this?

How attractive do you find yourself?

What do you believe?

Others First impression of you to be and finally, how does it feel when you receive a compliment?

And the results of the short interviews were shocking, actually, even bringing me to tears or shaking and having to stop the video footage because I just could not understand what these individuals were saying to me and how we, as teenagers, could be so evil.

I found that of my 10 diverse students, almost all of them mentioned at some point being called, are labeled something derogatory, having low self esteem, finding themselves unattractive Lee and, most shockingly, valuing the opinions of others much more highly than they valued their own.

And even more shocking, some of these labels included words like ugly, whitewashed, ghetto Weird and so on.

But perhaps the most unsettling fact.

What was really, really unsettling to me personally was off my 10 students.

Six of them mentioned that they had been bullied at some point, and they still feel lesser of themselves because of this.

And yes, we all unconsciously label.

And yes, we all unconsciously make assumptions.

But this becomes a much more big and much more dire issue when the labeling and the assumption making and the stereotypes turns into physical, verbal or cyber bullying.

And if that's not enough for you, cyber bullying has skyrocketed in the last decade, and by skyrocketed, I mean over doubled in the last decade.

This is evidence consistent with my findings.

Despite my initial negative findings, there was light at the end of this deep, dark tunnel member.

The last question I mentioned.

How does it feel when you receive a compliment?

This was, surprisingly, my piece of solace as I interviewed the participants and they began to open up to me.

I saw their expressions change and nothing, and I mean, nothing compares to the responses I received to that last question.

Many smiled as they shared their experiences and how compliments made them feel good about themselves.

And so I went about complimenting a few of the participants myself as we discussed the positive and that impact of a compliment.

It was like I was talking to all new people, their faces lit up, They smiled significantly more, and they discussed in a more sociable and open manner.

So I would like to show you a few of these participants.

To your left is an image of the participants at the very beginning of the interview before I gave them the compliment.

And to your right is an image of the participants.

After receiving the compliment, the difference was everything.

And so with this, I proposed to you a new idea using that power of a compliment.

Don't assume, just ask as someone about their day and what they're struggling with their goals and then give them a genuine compliment.

But not just because I said so because you mean it.

And not just today, Tomorrow, next week, 10 years from now.

Forever.

Actually, The power of a compliment is the power to change the world.

And I urge you to do this in your everyday life, to use that power of a compliment.

And I want you to take this message with you for the rest of your life to openly communicate, respect, understand and value the feelings of others.

Don't assume.

Just ask, because what you say matters.

Thank you.