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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Hi, everyone.

  • Thanks for not being here.

  • This is crazy.

  • I wasn't supposed to be doing my show from my house

  • until next season.

  • Today, I applaud you.

  • Usually, I walk out, people applaud me,

  • but I'm applauding you.

  • Nurses, doctors, hospital staff, first responders,

  • supermarket employees, truck drivers,

  • everyone who keeps us going, thank you so much.

  • I'd keep doing that, but maybe that's annoying.

  • I don't know.

  • I wanted to start doing my new show as soon as possible

  • because it's really for people who

  • are stuck at home, and especially my staff and crew.

  • I love them.

  • I miss them.

  • And the best thing I can do to support them

  • is to keep the show on the air, so here we are.

  • Today I am filming this in my living room because, well,

  • because it has the best light and sound,

  • and because all the other rooms in my house

  • are filled with toilet paper.

  • So while we're all stuck here, I want

  • to help take your mind off everything

  • that's going on in the world.

  • I've always wanted to have this show as a distraction,

  • as a break from whatever is going on out there

  • that may be unpleasant.

  • So if you're feeling down, I want to lift you up.

  • If you're feeling trapped, I want to set you free.

  • If you feel like you're going in the wrong direction,

  • I want you to back that thing up.

  • It is a strange time, and this is

  • what we have to do right now.

  • So I want to give a big shout out

  • to my crew, my director, Portia, my camera operator, Portia,

  • my key grip, Augie.

  • What up, dog?

  • That's funny because Augie is a dog.

  • Portia and I have been quarantining for three weeks

  • now, and it's nice actually, because we

  • get to spend time together, and talk, and just

  • really get to know each other.

  • Right?

  • Yeah.

  • Did you know that she was Australian?

  • It's fascinating.

  • One thing that I've learned from being in quarantine

  • is that people--

  • this is like being in jail, is what it is.

  • It's mostly because I've been wearing

  • the same clothes for 10 days and everyone in here is gay.

  • The jokes that I have.

  • I feel bad for the kids at home, all the college

  • students, all the parents.

  • I feel bad for a lot of people.

  • But I think that a lot of people out there need

  • words of encouragement, and that's what I want to do.

  • I want to spread light where there's shade.

  • I want to bring a glow where it's gloomy.

  • I want to stick a candle where the sun doesn't shine.

  • Hm.

  • I don't know about that one.

  • If there's one thing that always brings me joy, it's dancing.

  • So Augie, show them how it's done.

  • I'm kidding.

  • I have a better idea.

  • tWitch, are you there?

  • I'm here.

  • What's up?

  • There he is.

  • tWitch, you and I both know what the country needs right now--

  • hand sanitizer and a dance from you.

  • I've missed you.

  • I miss you too.

  • There we go.

  • Yeah.

  • You shouldn't be out of shape because you and Allison

  • have been doing your--

  • that's been so amazing.

  • You've been doing these live on-air classes every morning.

  • Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.

  • I mean, look.

  • We're just, honestly, looking for ways

  • to just kind of stay active, and--

  • hold on.

  • Hoo.

  • OK-- looking for ways to stay active.

  • And every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

  • we've just been leading these group-along classes.

  • Very cool.

  • Besides growing your beard, what else have you been doing?

  • [LAUGHS] Well, we've been doing a little bit of homeschooling.

  • I've played a little bit of Playstation.

  • It's been great.

  • And also a couple of weekends ago, Maddox turned four.

  • So that was awesome.

  • And Ellen, we've been wondering, what's

  • the age where they can actually entertain themselves,

  • and it's not four.

  • So we'll see how it goes, because he's constantly like,

  • what now?

  • What now?

  • What now?

  • What now?

  • So send us some ideas.

  • Send us some suggestions.

  • Yes.

  • Yeah.

  • Well that sounds like Portia.

  • She's like, what now?

  • What now?

  • What now?

  • [LAUGHS]

  • I'm kidding, honey.

  • I'm kidding.

  • Here's the most important question that I have for you.

  • Do you know what day it is?

  • No.

  • I have no idea.

  • I was hoping you would help me out with that one.

  • It doesn't really matter anyway.

  • No.

  • That's the thing, it does matter what day it is.

  • There's--

  • Yeah, exactly.

  • --no such thing as a weekend.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Every day is a weekend.

  • Now, do the kids like having you around more?

  • I would think that they do.

  • They do, yeah.

  • Because honestly, we've been traveling a bunch.

  • We travel around and we teach.

  • We dance.

  • So this-- obviously, it's crazy times.

  • But the upside to this is we get a lot more quality time

  • all together.

  • So that's the bright side of it.

  • We're loving it.

  • Yeah.

  • Weslie definitely misses her friends at school,

  • but we're having a good time here.

  • And Allison, does she like having you around more, or no?

  • Absolutely.

  • Yes.

  • She does.

  • Good.

  • Because again, it's quality time outside of work, right?

  • Because we work together a lot.

  • So we're now just being able to enjoy the house

  • and just spend that kind of time.

  • It's great.

  • Who's a better cleaner, and what chores do you have?

  • Like, I enjoy vacuuming, so I don't

  • have a problem with vacuuming.

  • Dusting is my least favorite.

  • But what do you contribute to?

  • So she's definitely the better cleaner and better organizer

  • by far, right?

  • So me, I can do I can do laundry.

  • Let's see.

  • I can make beds really great.

  • I take care of the dogs.

  • That's good.

  • It's hard to make a bed by yourself, especially

  • the fitted sheet when you're by yourself.

  • That's helpful.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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