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  • J: Hello, lovely people!

  • J: Welcome back to the Jessie and Claud Show.

  • C: Oh, there's a Jessie and Claud Show?

  • J: I made it into a show. Yeah, I don't know; that was a last-minute decision, but I'm running with it.

  • J: In today's episode...

  • J: See, it's a show. I did a thing.

  • J: We're gonna be answering your 'Would You Rather...?' questions.

  • [Both] Oo!

  • J: Which I asked you when I joined Instagram

  • but told you to make queer-flavoured.

  • J: So...these should be gay.

  • C: OK.

  • J: And we're gonna answer by putting our fingers up for one or two.

  • J: So no conferring. C: Ohh, OK.

  • J: Can we manage to not confer? C: No...

  • J: Probably not. C: No.

  • C: We'll do the one or two, but then we'll look at each other and be like...

  • J: Yeah, because we could confer in Sign Language, but down here where no one can see.

  • J: However, before we begin that, we have a big announcement!

  • C: Do we?!

  • J: I told you before we started filming!

  • J: Today, we are releasing...the limited edition 'Because: gay' merch

  • C: Oh, yeah!

  • J: My plan is at the end of every month to release a new merch design,

  • which will be very limited edition;

  • running for two or three months depending on popular demand.

  • C: Exciting. J: It's available in the merch shelf down below,

  • J: which you may be able to see,

  • but if you're a country that doesn't support the merch shelf or just today it's randomly not working because

  • YouTube, the link is in the description down below.

  • J: It comes in a range of items and colours, and I'm really excited about it

  • C: Yeah. J: And I'm gonna get a range of things.

  • C: And I justand I just realised I am not wearing the appropriate attire.

  • C: I should be wearing your merch and instead I'm just wearing a YouTube jumper.

  • J: You said you'd wear my merch! Ooh. C: I know!

  • C: I'm sorry!

  • J: Right. Pause! C: Let me just do the magic of editing.

  • [Both cheering]

  • C: Ta-da!

  • J: That was nicely done.

  • J: [Singing] Let's begin!

  • J: We had some really, really good questions.

  • C: The one I remember wasit was like: “Would you rather have three weeks without Walter and Tilly

  • or three days without each other?”

  • J: Did 'Missing Claudia' make people think that I'm the only one

  • J: who has issues with us being apart? C: Yeah, I just--I just don't care!

  • C: I do! I was being sarcastic. J: Such lies.

  • J: You're as obsessed with me as I am with you!

  • J: First question comes from Evelina and Clara!

  • J: Thanks, guys. C: Oh.

  • "Would you rather be without the other for a week

  • or Walter and Tilly for a year?"

  • J: I don't know that Claudia for a week and the dogs for a year...

  • J: is a sort of fair compromise. C: That's not--that's not... No.

  • C: Clearly, it would be like give up me for a week, wouldn't it?

  • [Both] Yeah! J: You can just go on a trip.

  • C: Exactly!

  • J: We haven't even done the one and two. C: Do you think they're trying to--?

  • C: Do you think they're trying to aim that slowly at the fact that they want Walter and Tilly for a year?

  • C: Well... J: That's what it is!

  • J: Evelina and Clara are trying to steal our dogs!

  • C: The three weeks or three days one -

  • I said I think I'd rather...

  • C: If you suddenly just disappeared with no explanation and I had no idea when you were coming back,

  • as was the same with the dogs,

  • I'd rather the dogs disappeared for three weeks but me not knowing when they were gonna be back,

  • because at least then I could be like, 'Where are the dogs, Jessie?!' with you.

  • But if you had gone for three days, what am I gonna do? The dogs and me would just go stir-crazy.

  • J: Yeah, I don't know that kidnapped...

  • C: I didn't say kidnapped! J: No, no!

  • J: I've mysteriously gone!

  • J: I feel like the police would worry a bit more about your wife

  • than the dogs,

  • C: Well, exactly. J: and that should give you an indication of how much you should worry.

  • C: They'd questioned me a lot first, though, wouldn't they?

  • J: Sure, you'd be a suspect. Is that the aim of this game, though?

  • Would you rather have a rainbow-coloured mustache for the rest of your life

  • or have to eat a dozen snails every time you said LGBTQIA+ wrong or stuttered?"

  • J: You're gonna have a rainbow-coloured moustache forever?!

  • C: Actually, I really answered that wrong.

  • C: I'm sure I could just learn to say it properly.

  • C: LGB... L, G, B--see?

  • J: It's unfair as well; you should have an exception. C: I have, like, lexicon...

  • C: I have SL...whatever it is.

  • J: SIL C: Yes.

  • C: So I think I'd rather just have a moustache.

  • J: Rainbow-coloured, friend. It's rainbow-coloured. C: You could shave it!

  • C: And it would just be like rainbow... J: Oh, it just grows back rainbow every day?

  • J: And then you shave... C: Oh, does it?

  • Would you rather see each other every day for a few minutes

  • or see each other once a month for a whole day?”

  • C: Yes. J: Yaaay!

  • C: You can keep in touch more.

  • C: You can catch up with your last...

  • J: "What happened today? What's happened in the last 24 hours?"

  • C: Yeah. The last 24 hours. J: "Oh, my gosh. I love you so much."

  • J: "Bye." C: Have a quickie.

  • J: ...Yeah!

  • "Would you rather Kate McKinnon or Ellen Page?"

  • C: Which one's Kate McKinnon?

  • J: I feel like that's an answer!

  • J: She's the blonde one that looks a bit like Evelina that was in 'Ghostbusters.'

  • C: YeahOh, my God, she looks so much like Evelina.

  • C: That's weird. Can't date Evelina.

  • J: Never mind. We can't choose #1, because she looks too much like Evelina.

  • C: No, no, no. No, it's fine, we have to answer the question.

  • J: I guess we're both going with Ellen Page.

  • C: No, I was actually gonna go with... J: You were actually going with Evelina?! OK.

  • C: No, it's not Evelina!

  • C: She smiles more.

  • J: Than Ellen Page? Most people smile more than Ellen Page.

  • C: I just don't fancy either of them.

  • C: Is that all right?

  • C: Is that why someone asked?

  • "Would you rather be a Disney Princess or date a Disney Princess?"

  • C: Yeah, obviously.

  • C: I do not wanna be a princess.

  • "Specifically for Jessica:

  • would you rather never wear dresses again

  • and be with Claudia

  • or wear dresses and be with a man?"

  • J: Ready? One... C: Yeah, what do you prefer - dresses or your wife?

  • C: Good. J: This is not really a question!

  • J: It's OK. C: It's like, your identity is more than how you outwardly express yourself.

  • J: Yeah! It'll be fine. I'll wear flannel.

  • "Would you rather adopt a baby or use a sperm donor?"

  • C: I mean, that's a bit harsh as well, because--

  • J: I want both, though. C: Yeah, I was gonna say, like...

  • C: It depends on the situation, again.

  • C: I'm really shit at this game, aren't I? J: Yes.

  • C: It's very vague. J: We wanna do #2 first and then #1 after.

  • "Would you rather kiss Belle or Ariel?"

  • J: Ooh, OK!

  • C: That's obvious. J: Yeah. She's got an obsession with red-heads.

  • C: Also, Ariel's, like, way more fun.

  • J: She is fun.

  • J: I just feel there would be consent issues.

  • J: Belle has some issues, yeah.

  • Fine. Ariel's not all there, though.

  • C: I don't know if any of the Disney princesses are all there, to be honest.

  • J: Hey, Mulan's got her head screwed on. C: Well, yeah, that's true.

  • J: You leave her be. C: Mulan's my favourite.

  • J: They all talk to animals. None of them are OK!

  • C: We talk to animals!

  • J: "Would you rather be in the closet your whole life but be dating

  • or be out but never meet each other?"

  • C: Aw, shit!

  • J: You would rather... C: Oh, sorry!

  • J: ...be out but never meet me?!

  • C: I misread the question!

  • C: I see "dating" as in, like, going on lots of dates with different people.

  • J: Right. C: I didn't think it meant with each other.

  • J: I see.

  • J: Well, the opposite was "be out but never meet ~each other~".

  • C: Yeah, because obviously you're my soulmate and-- J: Thus implying number one

  • J: includes me.

  • J: A lot of people asked this question.

  • C: If it was, 'would you rather be in the closet with each other...'

  • C: Like, do our parents not know?

  • C: Are we just "friends"? Are we just "flatmates"?

  • J: If we lived in the 1950s,

  • and had to be THAT in the closet.

  • J: Yeah, we'd just be two single ladies...

  • J: Spinsters who lived together.

  • C: I think people would know we were--weren't...

  • J: Everyone knew people were gay, Claudia; they just didn't talk about it.

  • "Would you rather make any character you want in any fictional universe gay,

  • even if they weren't before,

  • or make it so any existing gay characters get a happy ending?"

  • J: Ayy! We made the gays happy.

  • C: And also, that's a selfish reason, like...

  • C: