Emotional Q&A | Having More Kids, Regrets, Biggest Fear - VoiceTube: Learn English through videos!

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so I wanted to do a little Q&A video because I feel like I haven't done one
in a long long time we have a lot of new people on YouTube and Instagram and I'm
so excited and happy to have all of you and I know that a lot of you guys have
different questions and some of you trying to figure out different things
about me so I posted on my Instagram a little you know Q&A thing and you guys
send me a bunch of questions and I thought that I'm just gonna randomly
pull a few of them and answer them and hopefully it will give you an idea
what's going on in this little brain of mine I love to do anything that makes us
you know open different conversation about different subjects and just feel
like a little closer to each other I guess before we are getting into this
video we're going to touch on some subjects that are parenting time
management vulnerability mindfulness organization you guys asked some really
good questions so we're gonna cover all of that but before we are going into the
questions I firstly wanted to say huge thank you to a longtime partner of mine
Skillshare for sponsoring this video if you guys don't know and I'm sure most of
you know about Skillshare because I know that some of you guys are loving the
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organization entrepreneurship business decluttering time management cooking
literally everything and anything so Skechers kind of a great way to get
access to all these experts and all these teachers that can start your
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Skillshare has been kind enough to give two months free membership and try out
2,000 people that will give you access to
everything on the website these go really fast so check out I'm gonna put
the link in the description box after that if you are interested in
subscribing it's about ten dollars a month so it's up to you to see if it's
something you want to do and this is it now can move on to our Q&A so I'm gonna
read from I put all the things together so I'm just gonna read them and we'll
see what's interesting what makes you mad oh that's a good question what makes
me mad I hate when people are late I don't like people that are dramatic and
create drama out of nothing what gets me angry
it actually makes me mad and I don't like when my kids don't listen to me
that makes you mad I have to say when I say mad I'm not like losing my I just
it's it's more of like annoyance I'm getting annoyed and that a lot of things
can get me mad really as I understand that it's not what how have you figured
out what you want to get from this life think that as you move along in this
life you understand more and more of who you are as a person and different years
you will want different things so you know some will be a year of you know
family Sam will be here for career it always changes so for me I think that at
the end of the day I just want to feel content and grateful and please notice
that I didn't say happy because happiness is like a tricky word being
content is more something that I'm on a journey for so yeah I don't quite have
it all figured out I just want to feel content and challenged do you want a
daughter you know I don't kind of have weird phase where I do feel like I
really want another child and it will be great if will be another girl because we
have three boys but I have to say that this week it's been quite overwhelming
for me and because I'm still I mean it's only been three months since I had max
I'm still trying to adjust to having three children and right now I actually
can't even imagine adding another one to the mix so even if
it's a boy or a girl it doesn't matter it's just I need to find some kind of a
routine because right now it's all over the place what is the best and hardest
part about being a mom the best part is kind of creating your own little army I
would say and I think that you learn so much about yourself
it is the absolute hardest challenge and journey I've ever been on and it's
never-ending and there's some days that I fail miserably and other days super
proud of myself so it's a lot of ups and downs you know but I can't explain it
it's just another feel of love like I've never felt love like this before and
just looking at them and looking at like their mannerisms and or their features
and you can see yourself or your husband in it in them it's just it's super
powerful and amazing and at this point no matter what I'm gonna achieve or not
achieve in my life for me they are the biggest achievement the downfall of it
all is that because they are the most precious thing you've created have this
overwhelming feeling of responsibility and guilt and anxiety and you just want
so much for them and you want to protect them from everything and make sure
they're the best best self I just like sometimes I feel like I have to stop
myself from projecting my insecurities or things like that on them because you
know they are not an extension of me they're their own humans so I think that
there's quite a lot of you know it's always like display of how much you can
do and how much you can control so that's the mind games that go through
every parent's mind and brain every single day so it can get really really
exhausting what are you suggestion to overcome
problem of comparing yourself with others I think that with age you start
to appreciate yourself more and more and you start understanding that you know
you have kind of your own strengths your own charm
you understand that you cannot be anyone else what's the point of sitting and
comparing yourself to someone else you're not living your life and life is
so so short and you start realizing how short it is as you grow older I think
that just to remember that you know there's a very simple quote that I'm
sure you've seen everywhere is no one is you and that is your power and that's it
that's all you have to remember you cannot be anyone else and that's
something so unique and beautiful that there's only one you in this world so
bring all of it out and share it with the universe that's what we're here for
we're here for a very very short time so take advantage of it and don't be
miserable because you are not living someone else's life
did you ever have a dream that you had to give up for some reason and if he has
you regret it I actually want to met Gary I started getting this weird
interest from the kind of acting world I actually was about to get a role and
this movie that was shooting in Belgium and I've no idea why because I actually
I don't think I'm an actress at all I think I suck at acting but I think they
saw something in me that they could have worked with that required me to move
there for like 4 months to 6 months that really happened when we got engaged and
I kinda had to give it up and I can't say it was a dream but it was something
that obviously we're really excited when you hear about it you do I regret it no
I truly believe that wouldn't have been my path at all I don't regret it at all
I actually didn't don't even think about it I just that question just reminded me
interesting the funny thing is is that if Dad would have taken me to Hollywood
like if I'm meant to be there I will be there one way or another I truly believe
that you know the universe has a funny way to lead you to your destination if
you choose a road a or Road B you will end up or you need to end up you
consider designing clothes yes that's definitely something that is such a
passion of mine and I secretly have this sword on Pinterest and also like a stack
of stuff I have this folder at home where I just collect all these ideas and
feels and inspo and I know that one day I will make that
happen I would love to design clothes I truly
believe that it's something I will be good at and passionate about it so but
it's not time yet I'm not there yet but hopefully soon why do you still struggle
with now that you thought you would have sorted out by this age you know what I
can't say that throughout my life I thought oh when I'm gonna be 28 I will
figure that out I actually didn't even think that far ahead I don't think
there's anything that I can put my finger on it because you know what now
if I ever thought the 28 is like old when I was like 16 thinking 28 is old
now that I'm 28 it's still so young that I actually think that I have quite a bit
of things figured out already and I'm a little bit ahead of my time so don't
have an answer to death but there's a lot of things that still work on
definitely how do you keep balance and not get angry easily balance isn't
something that changes for me every single day and that's something that I
repeat a lot because I get a lot of questions about balance somedays balance
means more you know focus more on your work and some days focus more on the
family and I think the secret to it all is to have that self-awareness and to
trust your intuition and to listen to it to know when to start pivoting towards
one thing or another so I think that's what keeps me going and being able to
have all these things going on in my life and I don't get angry easily
because honestly it's just not worth it I think that with time and with age and
not even age with time and you know with the development of my life like having
kids in the comments a mother so little things are important to me and there's
so many things that I know that don't really matter that I don't want to spend
five minutes or five hours of five days being angry about something that I can't
change and with my kids I mean some days I do I complete it and I feel super
guilty about it but mostly I'm just trying to remind myself that you know
being angry at them won't really do much so I always try to find a way to ahead
of the situation differently if you could talk with someone who passed away
who would it be and what would you talk about so I could talk to someone who
passed the way it will probably be my
grandmother she passed away four years ago it's weird because I feel like we
weren't in a really good place this is obviously something that I haven't
really I haven't really had a closure with in my life that's why I'm crying
it's still like a place that hurt for me it was here in Canada with us and then
she went back to Russia and I feel like we kind of never when she left
we weren't really on good terms I would say maybe not even if we weren't on bad
terms it was just like I feel like she didn't know and I didn't had a chance to
express how much I loved her and grateful for everything that she did
there was a little bit of family drama before she left so I think that just
kind of you know stopped me from showing her and telling her everything like how
I felt so if I could talk to her I would just
maybe you know just kind every month not even remind her just tell her I loved
her and that she was such a strong part in my childhood and I'm really proud of
her and I just hope she okay that did not expect that to go that way your
modelling journey / experience cities you went to an agency's you were signed
with oh okay that's on the lighter note my modeling journey where have I been
I had the chance I know it's so random cuz probably through Instagram
especially with when I did attend your challenge I posted a lot of photos from
different places so a lot of people like what you lived in Tokyo you lived in
Spain from so yeah some of the places that I had a chance to go to were
Holland I was in like Amsterdam I was in London UK
I say London UK because we have a city London in like Canada so I don't want to
mix that up I was in Paris multiple times I was in Tokyo Weiss or three
times even Spain Belgium for us obviously New York LA Miami
under city Sweden I shot urban outfitters it's sweet in Sweden that was
really fun and that's really it at Germany some places obviously I don't
even like Mexico it took me to a lot of really cool places and that was in an
era where you know you wouldn't document
things with your phone or take pictures or I wasn't obviously I didn't have a
video camera I had some film camera so I do have some like photos from them but I
didn't document enough and I wish I wish that I could have done it there were so
many amazing experience but also I'm thinking that if I was so busy if it was
the social media era back then I probably wouldn't have had all those
experiences to remember because I would be too busy thinking about taking photos
and videos of myself yeah what agencies you were sign would I was with I'm Jane
Paris I was with elite in the UK and in Israel which was my mother agency I was
with uno in Spain I was with Bravo and Tokyo that's it are you afraid to lose
scary sometimes yes definitely we had a few incidents last year not incidents
because it wasn't like it didn't happen to us god forbid but we did you know
Gary lost a few friends last year our people that he knew that passed away
that were young like in their 30s or 40s and it kind of like becomes real and
something that's super super scary I don't want to think about it at all
but like the only way I see myself losing Gary is that if like someone dies
not like a divorce or anything like that it's not gonna happen do you feel you
are more Canadian Israeli or Russian I feel that are more Israeli Russian not
Canadian yet I can say that I've been really Canadian eyes I am super proud to
be a citizen and I love this country and I'm so grateful to be here I can't
say that I feel Canadian so definitely Israeli Russian more and Russian like
culturally I think that's the difference with Israel it's like it's my home
that's where I grew up so that's you know my home Russia I don't have
necessarily a connection because I didn't grow up there I was just born
there and then we but I feel very strongly about the
culture and I love the culture and I love the kind of zest and spice that the
Russian culture gives my personality and the same thing with the Israeli spice
there's a lot of Israelis spice when why and how did you decide to change your
lifestyle into a more mindful one I think that happened when I went to the
holistic nutrition program where I graduated from I think there I got
introduced to a lot more you know mindfulness meditation things like that
and I understood which is what's unique about holistic nutrition is that I
understood how the body mind and spirit is connected so I think that's what
started sparking this whole mindfulness thing for me and then obviously it
happened in a really timely matter now it's like everywhere yeah that's how I
got introduced to it what countries are on your travel bucket list I would love
to go to Africa we love to go to Singapore Thailand Bali oh my god
there's so many Egypt Morocco Finland everywhere I want to go everywhere how
do you always seem so motivated honestly I don't feel like I'm like everyone else
I do have to say that I have a strong willpower that's kind of how I push
myself but willpower is a muscle that I've been working on for a long time so
it's not something that I was born with god no I mean it's not even motivated
but I push myself and as the kind of ball starts rolling that's when I get
motivated what keeps me motivated is just again we're here for such a short
period of time and I want to do all these things and achieve so much and at
this point I'm really on this quest of like you know doing everything possible
and gathering as many experiences and stuff that as many as I can and kind of
a Yolo mentality like you only live once so why not so that kind of motivates me
to keep going and moving and also showing my children that the world is so
big and there's so much to do and so many things you can do and you don't
have to put yourself in a box and be one way or the other so that's what
motivates me how did you get used to living in a foreign country on your own
um it took me a while I mean for Canada was
the first year was really depressing for me although I was surrounded with people
because I knew some people or got introduced to some people you know it
felt like this is not my culture I don't understand how people do things here for
me the winter was very difficult to bear and so it made me depressed for the
first year but then it's just you know time heals everything and you figure out
a way to do things your way and that's not really I wouldn't say that there's
some technique that I use I knew that you know this is something that I need
to feel and I let myself feel that sadness and you know maybe a little
loneliness but then I started occupying myself and trying to get into some of
the rhythm of things in the country that I was in and that said and friends and
family you know just talking to them and that helped what do you think are your
best qualities personality wise personality wise I think that my best
qualities is that I adopt two things really fast and I move on from things
really fast like if I have an argument or there's something that happened we
know once it's all done like forget about it
once I express my opinion or what bothered me I move on like I hate kind
of holding on to things or emotions like it burdens me what qualities do you
admire and other people what qualities do admire and other people I admire
kindness I admire grit and I admire when people are you know trying to kind of
make the best out of every situation I think that's such a wonderful and
contagious quality that when you see it in other people it really motivates you
to do the same way to be the same way so I really love that what is your favorite
type of exercise probably dancing just jumping around I wouldn't even call it
dancing what do you do differently in raising your kids compared to how your
mother raised you I'm trying to kind of let them develop into their own humans
not necessarily put them in this box of what I think you know they should be
also not projecting my insecurities on them things like that I think today
there is much more mindfulness parenting like you're much more in tune with
what's going on in your mind and you understand that you don't have to
control everything which is very different especially the Russian culture
I think Russian culture is so strict and there's like kind of a formula to how to
raise kids and probably in every culture actually but just like from you know my
experience because my mother was raised a certain way so she wanted to raise me
a certain way and I think that that's what I'm doing differently and I'm sure
that that applies to a lot of my friends now I mean we're a generation that is
just more in tune with ourselves so that's what I think I'm doing
differently and I mean I don't know if it's good or bad we'll see why don't you
have pets I did never grew up with pets and I know that pets are a lot of
responsibility and I don't want another responsibility right now I was trying to
keep myself and my children alive so if you could live anywhere in the world not
Canada where would it be it would probably be Spain I love the culture I
love the people and of the food I love everything about it
so yeah Spain if you hadn't become a model slash influencer what do you think
your career path would have looked like I really really really wanted to be a
political journalist which I have no idea why but I think if I stayed in
Israel I haven't moved to Canada I would probably do something in journalism and
writing something creative because I was always like into creative writing and I
was doing a lot of that back then I had like a blog oh my god it was an amazing
it was a blog but now they killed the website so I can't even find it anymore
so yeah I think that that's what I would have done I would have found kind of my
path there what are your thoughts on astrology my mother is a big astrology
lover I don't have much up about it I don't know enough do you have
any insecurities regarding your looks how do you manage them there are things
that I don't like about my body or you know I feel like we all have those
things but I try not to dwell on it too much I try to really put a spotlight on
the things that I do love and that's how I handle it I'm just like I don't fixate
on it and I think that's something that you learn slowly with age or not even I
think that today we there's a lot of more body positivity so you really learn
to love what you have and work with it how do you deal with stress when I'm
stressing I think that I'm trying to find a reason for my stress I'm trying
to understand if it's like justified stress am I just creating it in my mind
and then I'm thinking about ways to de-stress myself if it's like taking a
few hours off for myself you know doing something for myself that puts me in a
better mood maybe even asking for help from someone that can help me to you
know kind of figure out that situation that stresses me out so that's usually
the three things that I do and usually that's how I kind of find a way to solve
that describe your first kiss what's the story
kiss my first kiss it wasn't even like a kiss it was oh my god oh I remember so I
think I was 13 or 14 and we went on vacation to Turkey with some close
friends and family friends and I met this boy he was from Manchester and he
had the British accent and I was like floored I thought that was the first
time I traveled outside of Israel yeah I was like 13 anyways one evening we were
like partying we were in like in the lobby drinking apple juice and then we
went to like the hotel clubs and then we were talking and stuff and then he
shoved like his tongue in my mouth and I was good and I ran away um yeah
that was my first kiss I guess what is your favorite memory with Gary oh my god
so many when our kids were born when we went on our honeymoon how do you view an
approach criticism um this is funny because this takes a lot
of honesty with yourself at first it was very difficult for me to just deal with
criticism and then with time I figured that I have to differentiate what that
criticism is is it coming like people just being hateful because they're
jealous or they're bored or there's nothing really interesting going on in
their lives that's not something I should pay attention to and if it's the
kind of criticism that is you know kind of a constructive feedback I have to
differentiate that and understand that that comes from a place of you know just
hearing other people's opinion something that you know I can think about and
weigh in if it's something that I want to listen to and adjust or not and then
the third one is criticism that bothers me and is it something bothers me
because I have an issue with myself like do you know us sometimes and people say
something to you and you get really like aggravated or annoyed with with that or
with that person so for me I'm just like why is this flaring all these emotions
do I have any issues or does this touch a place or an issue inside of me that I
need to work on or figure out so with criticism that's kind of how I look I
have those three kind of categories that I put you know different criticism that
I get in them and make sure that I waste my energy and time on the ones that
actually will benefit me and come from a good place rather than you know just
kind of bored people online what was your high school experience like um my
high school experience was Kent it was very short-lived because I actually
moved to a school that had a program where I studied by myself and then
only to the exams I think it's called external studies or something and I
started that at 16 because I was already working full he working as a model and
travelling at 16 I basically like to stop really having any high school
experience I was on my own but up until then I would say I was I was very like
invisible theory into my own life like I had a small group of friends I
think I have like two three girlfriends that were like we were a clique we were
like these three Russian girls they were always together and they were awesome so
I have good memories there but I was never like popular I never really had
like a voice I was never really active and anything like probably a lot of
people don't even remember me or that I went to school with them people started
only noticing me more where around the age of 15 when I started kind of getting
into modeling so yeah it was nice I was bullied a little bit but like I was just
not there was nothing to remember really it was pretty okay very mediocre what is
your biggest fear my biggest fear is to lose someone I love top 3 books you
recommend I love the book the untethered soul I really like and Frank's diary was
something that will forever be part of like me I think that I read it maybe 15
times I'm just trying not to focus too much on the self-help books because
that's something that I just got into recently so I'm trying to like think
about the books that I've read it really like stay there I really love the woman
I wanted to be by DVF that's an amazing book I think something in there just
really kind of spoke to me so those are really some of the books that are like
stuck in my head have you ever wanted to go to university yes actually after I
had Jake before I applied to holistic nutrition school I really wanted to
maybe go for like business degree gary was very supportive of it and he kind of
saw that I have a sense for it so he told me you know why don't you do
kind of like an adult program to do like a BA and then see if you want to
continue doing it so that's something that I wanted to do but then I decide
to the nutrition because it really scared me to go back to like a very
strict school and deadlines because I've been out of that type of structure for a
very very long time so yeah but I actually think that I
would at some point do that like maybe later when the kids are a little older I
would definitely go back to school what is your definition of success my
definition of success is like being so content with your life that you don't
really have time or energy or the will to give space to any negativity or focus
on other people's business or things like that that's the main success
mastering your mind there's also like a success what's your favorite thing about
being a youtuber if everything about being a youtuber is probably just like
having so many of you guys to be part of my life and feel connected to I feel
like you guys teach me so much even without noticing like when I go to
profiles and see what you guys are about you guys send me recommendation about
books and stuff like just having so many friends online is amazing and I'm really
really grateful for that what's one of the craziest things you've done
skydiving's twice what the hell was I thinking that wasn't so I wouldn't I
would never do that now like ever oh my god would you consider getting a tattoo
no I really wanted when I was like a teenager like everyone else but my
mother basically wrecked my life what language do you think in when you are by
yourself it depends because if I'm like right now I'll think in English and then
if I'll like speak with any of my friends that day or like that week from
Israel for that like the longest time I'll think in Hebrew or listen if I even
listen to music in Hebrew then for the next like three four days of think in
Hebrew so it kind of changes it's never though in Russia and I have to say
because I feel like Russian is probably the weakest language for me can you tell
us about your scars yeah my scars so this scar I got
I was 2 years old it was back in Russia I fell asleep and you know how in the
old flats there's these radiators so I fell asleep and I kind of stretched my
arm and I placed it on the radiator so the skin basically got like burned and
then we went to the hospital and the doctor was like doing this so it left
like a mark it took like all the dead skin off so there's like a mark here and
then the marks that I have on my chest is I had a mole and there was a scare
like for cancer so we had to take that one out and because it's in an area
where it's like very stretchy so obviously there's a there's a scar and
then I have a scar here and that is also a mole I still have a lot of moles I
still do but this was also a mole that kind of grew and I was actually pregnant
with Jake at the time and they had to remove that mole while I was pregnant so
that's why if there's a scar there what was the lowest point in your life and
how did you overcome it my lowest point in my life I wouldn't say was I think
that one might stab dad and my mom were getting a divorce and it was like a very
ugly divorce and I was kind of just trying to run away from it I escaped
through my modeling because back then I was already traveling and I was just
kind of I'm just running away and I felt like I had no one to talk to and you
know they were so busy at bickering at each other and angry at each other and
just I feel like with they put me in the middle so that was kind of a time that I
remember just being really not myself and very lost emotionally how did I
handle that I was just I stopped expecting my parents to save me and I
stop like putting kind of the blame and responsibility on them and I started to
understand that I need to create my own happy reality and to become my own
person because as young as I was it was 16 then that's it like I was kind of on
my own so I just started kind of building myself up do you believe in the
law of attraction what is your favorite way to cure being
uninspired um I shut off my phone like so no one
can call me I'll put like music I definitely put music on I'll read some
books I'll go on Pinterest Pinterest I have to say is really inspiring to me I
find a lot of things there and that's it really and watch like old movies I love
watching for movies and old movies old Hollywood best words dat experience I
had this one day I remember where like I tried so hard to impress me it was so
sad and it wasn't in like a cute way where you like always trying so hard it
was like in a disgusting way like it was really creepy it didn't have really
really bad bad day it's like what I didn't really date for too long but when
I had that date I feel like I enjoyed just like learning about the person like
I knew this is not gonna go anywhere but I was just like what the hell we're here
we might as well have fun so a lot of those bad dates just became kind of you
know fun experiences and some of those people like became friends if you could
do one thing just to know what it was like without any consequences what would
it be it would probably be just like selling everything packing everything up
and just like go on a world tour with my family for like five years
no not five years maybe for like a year or two I would love to do that get out
of this you know routine and regime that we live in that would be really awesome
where does your love for fashion come from oh my god from people from movies
from music there's inspiration everywhere what are your religious
beliefs I'm Jewish like I love the tradition of it but I'm definitely much
more spiritual person not so religious so that's really yeah like religion
doesn't dictate my life I just love the tradition of my religion and I try to
you know kind of maintain it and to teach it to our kids just feel like it's
something nice do you know to have and to bring this
family close together that's really what aspects of your job do you not like in
terms of living such an online life I don't like the fact that I always have
to be connected I know that a lot of people are like all take some time off
and you know just disconnect it's really hard when this is you know you
livelihood and this is your career and I do love what I do but for me you know I
have to disconnect once in a while and it does hurt you know business a little
bit so that's kind of annoying and it's kind of part of like it's not a
nine-to-five you know but I think that every entrepreneur can say that like no
matter what business if it's online or not when you're starting your own
something it's like a non-stop you always work the other thing is that you
do you put yourself out there you're super vulnerable you know people talk
about your children and about the way you do things and who you are and what
you are and speculate ridiculous stuff so but that's actually I don't care
anymore I feel like it actually made me more
aware of myself and like knowing when to not pay attention to things and what
else I don't like no that's funny yeah that's to say I feel super lucky to have
this as my career I absolutely love love what I do okay guys this is it
it's actually perfect timing there was the last question and I have a
conference call right now I and I love the fact that I made this tea and I
didn't even sit any of it and I hope I answered some of your questions and let
me know if you guys want me to do more of these Q&A is just like sit down you
know go to the questions and getting to know each other a little bit more and
that's it thank you guys so much for watching and thank you to skill show for
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