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  • you ladies might even accept the guy And welcome back to a little bit of big life The life and times of funny funny pits.

  • Patrick that the first time I've made that mistake Is it Putty Fitzpatrick senior computer programmer Sam I Mass murderer doesn't really count if he didn't do it himself and he just told somebody else to do it.

  • I'd say he's more of an entrepreneur in the hit man industry.

  • So we're what age we know.

  • Actually, party Fitzpatrick.

  • It's 45 years old.

  • He's about to come upon to his beautiful fifties, so plenty more time to kill people.

  • I am going to kill absolutely everybody today.

  • Everybody that I work with, all of these people dead.

  • I am running dangerously close.

  • Toto Bankruptcy.

  • So maybe I should by some stuff assets.

  • Can I do anything else?

  • The radio's going on my finances.

  • I've seen everything come over $106,000 but I'm spending it on a hit man.

  • Uh, real estate broker shop for properties.

  • No hurry.

  • I work close to home so I can walk there every day.

  • It's fine.

  • I'm going to sell my care.

  • I could take public transport.

  • I can even uber.

  • All right.

  • But how am I gonna afford all of these hitmen if I can't actually afford them?

  • I know it's simple math.

  • Really?

  • Put a post it online.

  • How?

  • It's what?

  • Okay.

  • Nobody wanted to buy your stolen Maserati.

  • How do they know it's stolen, though?

  • I'm going to do a second crime right now.

  • I want to see if somebody will kill my step Dad for a ski was full of horrible sentences.

  • No way.

  • Does no one want to kill my step?

  • That is a sentence, I just said.

  • All right, who else?

  • You know what?

  • It's just our goal.

  • My co workers.

  • No one was killed in an inch.

  • You'll be the hit men are on to me.

  • Maybe the hit man.

  • Just kill me now, Jacob Moore.

  • No one wants to kill anybody in my life anymore.

  • Fucking sucks.

  • You tried to start a conversation with a coworker, Evan, about who makes the best bit life videos on YouTube.

  • He told you he is too busy at the moment.

  • It's me, Jack.

  • Except the guy.

  • Oh, man.

  • All right, well, who is that?

  • Evan.

  • All right.

  • Time to kill.

  • I can't even pick him out of the list.

  • This is the saddest fucking day of my life.

  • I'm gonna rob a house Maraba house and said, Oh, God, I forgot to do this scene as many items as you can from the little old ladies home and escape without being caught.

  • Swipe to change directions.

  • Okay, Okay, I can do it.

  • Oh, I didn't know Starting already.

  • I thought it was just showing me a picture.

  • I fucked that up.

  • I also swipe down and it swept up.

  • The little lady verbally abused you and kicked you out of your house.

  • She managed to flee before the cops arrived.

  • Thank God I'm getting away with so much of this game, My happiness is down to 10%.

  • Sad gamer noises.

  • All right?

  • I need Thio.

  • I need to spend time with everybody.

  • You invested time and five relationship.

  • Your stepfather refused to spend time with you.

  • Of course he did.

  • He never wants to hang out with me.

  • Hey, never wants to hang out with me.

  • Where is he?

  • Stepfather things.

  • Come on, I wanna murder.

  • Except that we're gonna evolve and grow up in this game.

  • And I'm just gonna murder myself by the end of it.

  • All right, let's Let's a job.

  • Pregnancy.

  • Your wife Kira is pregnant with your baby.

  • What do you do?

  • Keep the baby.

  • We tried this last time.

  • She had a miscarriage.

  • So I'm hoping that this time she likes to be able to keep the baby on.

  • We have a nice, happy, fun, healthy life full of murder.

  • All right, talk to my co workers.

  • Who was in here?

  • Talk to Evan again.

  • Traded dogs on Shakira's hips.

  • He told you he's too busy at the moment.

  • All you had to do was tell me that the door libro I am wildly upset that I can't kill Evan.

  • That's that's really going to fuck me up.

  • She killed my accent, her husband thinks is weird.

  • Lady boss trying to figure out reasons for killing them.

  • And then I realize it's a video game.

  • It doesn't matter.

  • Sure, why not?

  • Oh, for the hit man going by the name of T X.

  • Who's willing to pull off the hit on your supervisor?

  • Lee?

  • What would you do?

  • Hire her Monte X right off your money without pulling off the hit on your supervisor Lily, Can I murder my hit man?

  • Oh, my God.

  • The methods of murder or sword.

  • Nasty performer drive by, strangled him club then pushed him off a cliff.

  • Elephant laxatives.

  • You can kill someone with an elephant.

  • Laxatives.

  • Hold on, everybody I'm reading.

  • I need to keep reading To upgrade my mind, To increase my mental capacity and just make me feel at ease.

  • I'm a read through all of little women in five minutes.

  • I'm like Superman picked a shorter book.

  • Could you shot?

  • Nope.

  • To be this way.

  • I'm not even taking the pages anymore.

  • Abandoned it.

  • I didn't even get happy.

  • Talk to Sophie again.

  • Sophie, what's going on?

  • She told me to shut up.

  • Sophie is always telling me to shut up.

  • Sophia Sophia in this list, it's not going well today.

  • I'm gonna have to murder on my own If I can't find a hit man to do it all right.

  • And go into a casino because I need to make back some money.

  • I've lost a lot of money.

  • We got to go to the coastal Shannon casino.

  • Uh, please.

  • Your blackjack bets.

  • Bank balance.

  • Okay.

  • Uh, I'm about 10 grand.

  • God, that's actually a really fucking good hand stand, mother fucker.

  • It's rigged.

  • I'm going again.

  • Double or nothing, E 10 yes.

  • Oh, God.

  • All right.

  • I want the money back that I lost.

  • I should quit while I'm ahead.

  • Unless it be Let's go again.

  • Go again.

  • I don't have a problem.

  • You do.

  • 12.

  • 13.

  • Pretty here is gonna take the kids.

  • Oh, no, Kira, Baby, Your wife Kira is argue with you because you lost money at the casino.

  • What would you do?

  • I I didn't just lose money.

  • I almost lost it all.

  • We had 37,000 in the bank and I'm down to six grand.

  • Apologize to work.

  • You know, I hear Hire a hit man of myself.

  • All right, let's Let's age up.

  • Oh, Kira had a miscarriage again.

  • Time to murder.

  • You were suffering from anxiety.

  • Oh, no.

  • Can I hire a hit man to kill it?

  • Can I kill my anxiety with a hit man, please?

  • I'll pay anything.

  • I lose as much money at the casino as you need.

  • It's all right.

  • I aged up.

  • I have another 20 grand.

  • I'm 47 years old.

  • Let's just go up to age 50.

  • Your wife Kira wants a divorce.

  • She told you she has learned that variety is the spice of life.

  • At 47.

  • What will you do?

  • Insult her?

  • One of us.

  • He's is Grace.

  • I'm going to charge her.

  • All right.

  • This is This is what happens.

  • All right, in the game A bit life.

  • If you want a divorce, you have to fight for it.

  • So I'm gonna charge at her if she gets past me.

  • She's not have the divorce.

  • If I buy her school and kill her, Whoa.

  • The chips wherever they like.

  • The judges recognize your pre nuptial agreement and has therefore determined no settlement amount is required to finalize your divorce.

  • No.

  • Okay.

  • I'm going to bite for school.

  • It's the same thing that happened again.

  • Oh, no.

  • You tried to buy your wife, Kira, but missed.

  • How How do you miss?

  • How do you miss biting someone like damn it?

  • Okay.

  • She stumped you.

  • She jammed your torso.

  • She busted your kneecap.

  • You're suffering from depression.

  • Oh, God.

  • It's all going downhill party.

  • What's happening?

  • Oh, I have a What's this?

  • Boost?

  • Happiness.

  • You receive an all expense paid trip to the Disney theme park of your choice from an anonymous source.

  • You've been feeling the need for a vacation.

  • What would you do?

  • Here I come, Mickey.

  • What do the hit men?

  • They funded a trip for me because they feel bad for stealing all my money.

  • You enjoy the free paid trip to Disney 90 Berg, old happiness, you happiness.

  • I feel like a trip to Disney would have made me a lot happier even though my wife just left me after having a miscarriage.

  • And then she stomped on me on Boston.

  • My kneecaps.

  • I think that I could be a little more than 30% happy right now.

  • Okay, Well, time to hire a hit man and kill my ex wife.

  • Where is she, Kira?

  • Use there?

  • No, on done, Chigir.

  • Satisfaction.

  • Guaranteed your hit man.

  • Anton, pull up the hit on your excuse.

  • Using a ray.

  • Good.

  • Well, they expect what happened.

  • See?

  • You know what?

  • I missed my bite there to take my shot later.

  • I'm no coward.

  • I'll just hide behind a hitman.

  • Let this be a lesson.

  • Don't divorce party, Fitzpatrick, because he will hire a hit man and kill you.

  • All right.

  • William Fitzpatrick a cheese.

  • I thought I died there for a second.

  • Your father passed away at the age of 78.

  • He died from Lyme disease in 2020.

  • Really?

  • Is your responsibility to plan a funeral Planets form?

  • All right, It's time to decide what to do with your father's remains.

  • His wish was to be buried.

  • What would you do while he's dead?

  • So I guess his wishes don't matter.

  • Berry Um information.

  • Taxidermy.

  • Donate to science.

  • Let's bury him.

  • I inherited 808,000 euro d'oh myself that died.

  • Can you feel it?

  • Can you feel it?

  • Can you feel that?

  • D'oh!

  • Oh, it's all coming up party right now.

  • His wife left.

  • He doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

  • She's dead.

  • His dad died furry side.

  • Actually, he was very upset about that.

  • But he inherited 100 grand.

  • Almost a 1,000,000 euro after losing it all in the slots and back here is looking down from hell right now.

  • After divorcing me, I'm looking at, Came into the world after that.

  • And now my step, Their diet after me trying to reconcile with her, trying to hire a hit man A nothing would work turns out all I had to wait I had to do was wait.

  • An old age killed him.

  • Actually, it was the diabetes.

  • They got him.

  • I will skip that funeral, actually.

  • Happy.

  • This is not doing the best.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I went out for a walk and a hooker phoned me.

  • Life's great.

  • Well, in your walk you encounter Ah hooker hassling you.

  • What will you do?

  • Charger biters.

  • Go ignore her.

  • There we go.

  • All right.

  • Happiness is taking a bit of a lump in.

  • Uh, I've 835,000 euro in the bank.

  • I have no idea how I have lasted this long.

  • After hiring so many hitmen after getting caught burgling someone's house after trying to kill my stepdad money times after biting someone killing them party.

  • Fitzpatrick might be the luckiest bit life character off all time.

  • I did it.

  • I reached age 50 and I'm no longer suffering from depression.

  • Amazing and insurance sell American recalls you and claims that he could get you a great deal on health insurance.

  • What do you do?

  • Listen to them and politely decline Life is looking up for party Fitzpatrick after his wife left him and got mysteriously murdered by somebody.

  • Everything's turning out great.

  • 50 years old, he's happier than he's ever been.

  • Health is not doing great, But you know what health and age they don't really like.

  • Go together, do they?

  • I mean, they do for a while, and you could work really hard on him.

  • But sooner or later, your health wants to divorce your age and shit goes to tits.

  • Type for crime.

  • Let's hire a hit man to do something I don't need to kill my stepdad anymore.

  • Could kill more of my co workers.

  • But is that really worth it anymore?

  • You know, a pickpocket, a stranger, A biker might not the date cycle fast.

  • We will be able to catch up with me because they'll be gone by the time they realize their You know what?

  • I'll just I just do a little pickpocket, get 100 100 euros.

  • Oh, the biker chase after you and screaming at you to return his wallet.

  • Take it.

  • It's time for my signature Move.

  • It's time toe bite his skull.

  • Wait.

  • There's this school.

  • Oh, his school's not there.

  • What am I supposed to do without my signature move?

  • by his mouth.

  • You bit the bikers most and you smacked him Is bingo The biker called the cops on.

  • You know, after all the hit men that I hire all the places I rob and all the people that I accidentally cured life from, uh, it's biting Someone of the mouth that gets me even charged with assault on are facing one year in prison with local law firm.

  • Which local law firm?

  • When you hire, uh, let's go with I have a lot of money.

  • I could do that.

  • Oh, the judge has asked you to make a plea surrounding your charge for assault.

  • If you plead guilty, you may receive a shorter sentence that if you were convicted in a trial, how will you please not guilty?

  • You've been found not guilty of his hold.

  • I'm still chewing on the dude's lips of the court and they're like, Hey, part he didn't do it.

  • He's fine.

  • He's grand.

  • Let Heidi go.

  • I'm gonna post on Twitter 50 single and ready to mingle.

  • 13 likes.

  • That's not great from a gun.

  • You know the people who are dead in my I have to bet dead pets and three dead.

  • Family members only have three relationships to spend time with.

  • No.

  • Oh, God.

  • Oh, but things were looking up, though.

  • I'm happy about this.

  • Let's do some mind and bodies of meditation.

  • Nice.

  • Everything's great.

  • Let's go to the gym, though.

  • I need to keep my body healthy if I have to run away from all of these people who were gonna try and come after me for murdering them on, I'm no longer suffering from anxiety.

  • You see, that's what the game is trying to tell you.

  • All you have to do is reach 50 years old.

  • Hire a hit man to kill dozens of people, divorce your wife, kill her on, then inherit a bunch of money from your dad who just tight on then anxiety and depression.

  • God, it was ridiculous.

  • Off course has been time with wait half Sister Fay.

  • She has no idea of the atrocities that I've committed.

  • All right, Evan, I am going to have a conversation with you one more time.

  • We had a conversation about the best place to have sex, and you were too busy for that coma on, bro.

  • All right, You know what we're gonna do?

  • I'm gonna prank him.

  • A little taste for what's to come.

  • You gave your coworker, Evan a secret glitter bomb package to blew up in his face.

  • Dude, I said it wanted to prank.

  • I'm not ruin his entire life.

  • I don't think that I can actually murder him.

  • No, I feel like I've murdered him already.

  • Sophie, how about a conversation?

  • Sophie?

  • She told me to shut up again.

  • Trade once more.

  • Sophie train once more.

  • Tony Soprano Mr.

  • Soprano himself is going to kill Sophie.

  • Your hit man, Tony Soprano pulled off the hit on your coworker.

  • Sophie using a knife.

  • Oh, your hit man.

  • Tony Soprano is now threatening to kill you or the knife to unless you pay him another 19,500.

  • Tell him a deal is a deal.

  • I'm standing my ground again.

  • It worked for the last hit, man.

  • It's gonna work for this guy.

  • Please, Bryan.

  • Oh, types.

  • You with a knife?

  • He stopped your torso.

  • Shit.

  • What they think was gonna happen when I hit mine that I hired to kill somebody with a knife, turned around and asked for more money and end tonight.

  • Him and he stabbed me with a knife.

  • Goddammit!

  • I'm after they go to the emergency room.

  • It they're like, what happened?

  • What give you this?

  • Like, whole shaped stab wound in your belly is like I fell on my lunch.

  • All right.

  • Time to thin out the workload.

  • Time to hire more hit men to kill everybody.

  • Okay, Can't do that.

  • That's fine.

  • I'll just try the next person.

  • Adam Stuart's?

  • No.

  • Apparently, they haven't wronged me.

  • No hit man wants to do it.

  • They think I'm cold hearted.

  • Adam's Scheuer's.

  • Then they just try and kill him, All right.

  • No hit man.

  • Want to even come within a mile of me anymore?

  • Probably found out the Tony Soprano.

  • Stab me and think I'm dead.

  • Let her retire.

  • I have enough money in the bank.

  • I'm 52 years old.

  • I think it's time.

  • I think if you're 52 years old, you always have a 1,000,000.

  • You're I think you're fine years at the company.

  • 15 years until eligible.

  • Five.

  • Just no.

  • Just resigned.

  • Then who cares?

  • All right.

  • I think it's time to emigrate.

  • Try to move to another country.

  • Where do I want to go?

  • I've killed enough people here.

  • I worked there.

  • But it would be foolish of me to stick around and just keep killing people in the same place over and over again.

  • Eventually, they're gonna figure it out.

  • I got lucky already.

  • I want to move to where do I want to move to trainer?

  • Jamaica, Australia.

  • Australia proved your immigration request.

  • I now live in Perth.

  • Hell, yeah, that worked out great.

  • We don't get a murder opportunities.

  • We haven't Perth.

  • Well, obviously I have to steal a car.

  • I have to steal a car to get around.

  • All right.

  • Inside.

  • Very walkable town.

  • A Ford F 4 50 She'll write up.

  • No.

  • Oh!

  • Oh, fine.

  • I go to the doctor again.

  • God, there we go.

  • You successfully stole a Dodge Durango.

  • Not too bad Grand.

  • Whole care.

  • Good job.

  • Good job.

  • I know I could technically, by my own car.

  • But why would I buy my own car and talk to people when I can steal and murder?

  • You know, that's the party Fitzpatrick way.

  • Let's scrap this old car so I don't need it.

  • It's back in Ireland.

  • I'm gonna sell my house back home, drop it down a little, brand.

  • I have 1.1 million euro.

  • I am rich beyond all belief in this game right now.

  • I went from losing it all on my wife, leaving me to suddenly coming into a great fortune.

  • You know, I'm just an entrepreneur like that.

  • You don't need to find some friends.

  • Where is it all over finding people to love.

  • But there's no thing to find friends.

  • I could change my will.

  • Now leave all my money to charity.

  • Hell, yeah.

  • My wife is dead.

  • I left it all to her, but she died first.

  • So mysteriously, weirdly, she hit by a blimp.

  • How often does that happen?

  • I'm going to go out on a date.

  • Why not 57 year old Gemma McKay There a lieutenant at Perth Police Department.

  • Ask rid.

  • Oh, wait.

  • This could be the end Hope with the adrenaline.

  • Oh, dating someone who's on the police force while I commit the crimes on the side.

  • This'll Netflix show writes itself here that that's the sound of me and Gemma doing the horizontal shuffle.

  • I think it's going pretty well.

  • They have no idea that I am the mass murder party.

  • Fitzpatrick old dirty potty as they called me back hole.

  • I was always in the headlines.

  • How many people have been killed by old dirty party?

  • Now?

  • We'll never know.

  • Some of your friends are going to the horse races.

  • Will you join them?

  • I don't have any friends.

  • Who are these mysterious people that I am going to the races with, uh, place your bets.

  • Oh, I have to bet.

  • I just want to watch.

  • You know what?

  • I'm a great gambler.

  • I've had great looking it before.

  • I'm going to go with top four place about a 50 k.

  • Okay, Dwight, could I do anything else?

  • Come on.

  • Come on, Top foot.

  • Come on, top foot.

  • Fucking no loan.

  • Come on, top foot.

  • You dirty bastard.

  • Came third.

  • What?

  • You saw you anyway, Your girlfriend Gemma, is arguing with you because you lost money at the races.

  • Oh, I'm so sorry.

  • Damn it impacted your present happiness again.

  • Your girlfriend Jemma told you that you're a perfect end.

  • Apart from the fact they just lost 50 grand at the races.

  • I'm a perfect 10.

  • Thank you, Gemma.

  • I think that you are also good.

  • What else should I do with Patty?

  • Travel back in time.

  • What?

  • I can do that.

  • Let's whether the fertility clinic first birth fertility is not interested in your sperm reason.

  • Age too old to donate sperm.

  • Oh, no.

  • All right.

  • Uh, should I try and take a time machine back to when life was easier for party?

  • Fitzpatrick likes pretty great from now, though.

  • I don't know if you want to ruin that.

  • Supposed to tweet about hell, yeah.

  • Oh, man.

  • I could be a videogame tester, or it could be a go go dancer.

  • I wanna be a go go dancer.

  • You called her express interest in to Go go dancer position at Amelia's disco.

  • But the reception is answering the phone.

  • Laughed in your face and then hold open.

  • Let's just That's just rude.

  • Can I Can I hire a hit man to kill her?

  • No.

  • What is this?

  • That's killer random Pogue rocker, I guess.

  • Run off with my money.

  • A hit man to kill hit Man.

  • You haven't been feeling very attractive lately and are looking for ways to become a little more sexy.

  • What will you do?

  • Shop for some hip odes, get some silk underpants, getsem style and sunglasses, or get a stylish new haircut?

  • You know what?

  • Surprise me.

  • What are we getting?

  • Rolled the dice, get some silk undies?

  • There's a Tony Robbins motivational.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Hell, yeah.

  • Tony Robbins can uplift anybody.

  • Have you ever listened to a Tony Robbins speech?

  • Even if it's all bullshit, Or even if you didn't know what he was talking about every time I listen to what I'm like, yeah, I'm going to go out and get that taco that I want it.

  • All right.

  • Party's 56 right now.

  • I want to get him to great.

  • Let's spend some time with a girl.

  • I want to get him to age 60 Parent.

  • Why not?

  • A person dresses a superhero has told you he needs to bring the contents of a package to Ukraine.

  • Wait, was there?

  • Go away, Stinky.

  • I don't want to go to Ukraine with a random package.

  • Your friend lets you borrow his cut a deal.

  • Diab Diop.

  • Trick kinda.

  • Diop Trick telescope.

  • I've never seen that one before my life.

  • Uh, what?

  • Would you check out the hotties at the pool?

  • I'm gonna check out Uranus.

  • No, I'm no.

  • I'm gonna check out the meteor shower.

  • That's pretty cool.

  • All right.

  • One more age and I have hit 60.

  • Your girlfriend Gemma's asked you to take her.

  • Toho made mini pizzas off course and we'll we'll have a grand old time.

  • Look at this.

  • Age 60 on I'm living my absolute best life looks 96 smarts 99 Health and happiness at 100% at 60.

  • Can you be any better than party?

  • Fitzpatrick?

  • At this point, nobody can live up to this man's legacy.

  • Should we get married at 60?

  • Okay, propose.

  • This is this is scary.

  • I'm very nervous and weirdly at age 60.

  • I'm more nervous for putty than I was when he was in his twenties or thirties.

  • Yes.

  • Can you feel it?

  • Can you feel it?

  • You feel D'oh!

  • Oh, this is marvelous.

  • We're gonna have the best wedding.

  • But you guys, we're gonna have to wait until the next episode to figure out how party fits.

  • Patrick's life is going.

  • Do you guys want to see him go down a virtuous path to reform his life to get over all the hitman killings and just grow old with Gemma for the rest of their lives?

  • Or do you want to go to see him?

  • go down the world of debauchery Morgana bubbling, more murders, Maur hitmen.

  • It's up to you.

  • I leave it in your hands the next episode.

  • Very well.

  • Could be the last one.

  • But if you enjoyed this one, don't forget to leave a big old like on it or Putty fits.

  • Patrick's gonna hire a hit man to come to your house and kill you with a Reagan that read.

  • Probably bite you in the school and you die.

  • Okay, Pleasant dreams.

  • Goodbye.

  • All those murders making me hungry.

you ladies might even accept the guy And welcome back to a little bit of big life The life and times of funny funny pits.

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