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  • coming to you from his house in Los Angeles is broken.

  • I'm Andy Richter tonight.

  • Adam Sandler.

  • Now theory is Conan.

  • Hey, Conan O'Brien here and ah, yes, that was the least professional opening I've ever done for a TV show.

  • I just came in and sat down on a stool.

  • And here's the unbelievable part.

  • I've been practicing that move for two weeks.

  • Pretty good, right?

  • All right.

  • I'm gonna start by telling you two things.

  • First, I'm coming to you from my home in Los Angeles and number two, please do not worry about me and find perfectly healthy.

  • This is just the way I look.

  • Okay, That's out of the way on with the show.

  • A lot to talk about.

  • First of all, I know there's a lot of stuff going on out there.

  • It's a lot of news.

  • 24 hour news telling you what to do.

  • What?

  • Not to do, what?

  • To look out for information.

  • You must know.

  • Let me assure you something these shows we're going to do are going to tell you nothing.

  • They will contain no information.

  • None whatsoever.

  • You'll probably be stupider after you see these shows than you were before.

  • I'm just telling you up front.

  • All I can promise you is this will be a highly unprofessional endeavor.

  • Night after night will make mistakes, will do the best we can and we'll move forward now.

  • You saw that the top of our show was a little different.

  • We featured everyone on our staff who's working very hard from home remotely to make this show happen.

  • That is, the silver lining of this crisis is I'm learning just how much I depend on everyone around me wife, Children, family, friends, staff and my hat's off to all of them.

  • But my staff has done an amazing job and helping me do this remotely from home.

  • We have a terrific terrific shows in store for you.

  • I'm just saying that because that's muscle memory.

  • I don't know if that's true, but that's what you're supposed to say in show.

  • Business is, we've got some terrific shows coming up.

  • What I can tell you is some really great people have stepped forward to help us out Tonight.

  • Adam Sandler is going to be lending a hand.

  • Ah, good old friend and I'll be talking to him from his home and throughout the coming weeks, we'll be talking to lots of people.

  • And I think having a lot of fun will also be trying a lot of really inane foolish comedy.

  • And do with it what you will.

  • And if you don't like it, remember, there's always Netflix shouldn't have said that mistake.

  • All I can promise you is silliness, good cheer and bad lighting that you're gonna get in spades.

  • Now, let's start the show by getting to my good friend Andy Rector, because we're all looking for continuity.

  • Normalcy.

  • My days usually start with Andy, so I thought I'd record a little chat with him.

  • I did that earlier today.

  • And, ladies and gentlemen, here's my pal and director.

  • And now I'm gonna push this button, which my son taught me to do.

  • Okay, We're here with Andy Rector, and he's coming to us from his first in Burbank.

  • There is?

  • Yeah, I needed to push something.

  • What do you in your Blair witch cabin?

  • Zing, go As anybody in your household gotten either scared or anything or, like said Oh, no, I think I have it.

  • You know, I had one a few nights ago where I had, like, a 99 degree temperature, and I was like, Oh, but it turned out it was, uh, from my testicle surgery.

  • Never let a doctor to your testicles yesterday.

  • He worked on for 15 minutes.

  • Yeah, and it wasn't even a medical procedure.

  • Uh oh, good.

  • They got George Takei on CNN, MSNBC, you now Citrus areas.

  • That.

  • Where's he coming from?

  • Four.

  • So I must be his house in Hancock Park your way.

  • It'd be great if he had a little set that looked like the Bridge of the Enterprise.

  • If he just in that people.

  • Oh, this This is my guest room.

  • I told you my Simpson story that I originally wrote Marge versus the monorail with George Takei being in the episode, You wouldn't do it because he was.

  • He said, I can't do it.

  • I'm on the board of public transportation, so it's impossible.

  • It's making fun of mass transportation.

  • You know, there's no transportation like public transportation.

  • Hello out there.

  • I'm Mr Su of Star Trek.

  • Taken from a man who knows your Milwaukee county transit system is really out of this world.

  • Come ride with us on the bus.

  • And I was like, What this is a chance to be on The Simpsons.

  • This was like year five.

  • This is a big deal.

  • He's like, Oh, you won't trick me into making fun of mass transportation.

  • The Booker came to me and said, Hey, Conan to K fell through.

  • But is it okay?

  • We got a note.

  • We got a yes from me more.

  • And I'm a west name boy.

  • He out rights, See Hup ranks too gay for red reading.

  • Trevor's 30 That's incredible.

  • And then Sony, Why did Mr Leonard Nimoy?

  • I'd say this vessel could do at least work.

  • Five.

  • A lot of people out there are missing human contact.

  • Andy and I every day used to hug each other.

  • It's something we've been doing for 26 years.

  • I'd love to have one of those sons right now.

  • Inju, Andy, Let's do it.

  • What do you say?

  • Do it.

  • Watch this.

  • All right, easy.

  • Oh, come on, Andy.

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, good to see your buddy.

  • I just like feeling your face, man.

  • Okay.

  • What do you doing, Andy?

  • Ah ah.

  • Only one of us likes our daily hugs.

  • What you've been doing well gets lonely.

  • What does that even mean?

  • I don't know.

  • Ah, that beautiful hair.

  • You've always been jealous not to pull the lace up.

  • And he let me adjust your glasses.

  • Oh, please.

  • D'oh!

  • Yeah.

  • There you go.

  • Thank you.

  • Oh, thank you.

  • That's so much better.

  • Yeah.

  • I thought you'd like that.

  • Thank you.

  • And you look fantastic now.

  • Uh, well, how?

  • Hey!

  • Yeah.

  • Hey, take that, Rick.

  • They're so hostile.

  • I'm now using these instead of regular hands.

  • Yeah, those air time to file my taxes.

  • I'll talk to you later, Andy.

  • All right, you guys.

  • Bye.

  • Okay, Please stick around.

  • Adam Sandler is here when we get back.

  • And if you're looking to give right now to a good cause tonight we're going with CDC Foundation will see you in a second.

  • Adam Sandler's here.

coming to you from his house in Los Angeles is broken.

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